[voice]; un: TheChancellor

[profanation]

[ The words are spoken with a lingering, loving attention. Every syllable is caressed by the tongue and lips before being allowed out. There's even a slight pause between words that makes the sentence measured and slow, like someone reading a line from an erotic novel. ]

You are now aware of your tongue.

Comments

[text]

[itsknighttime]

yea usually when shit like this comes up
the guy making the youtube video screams
dude it was just a prank but since its asmr im a little in the air about what its supposed to be

oh shit
were going to play the game where i say what did i remind you of
and then if you say im not telling you
i absofuckinglutely promise i will ask you to tell me
if you want to play the game press 1 to continue if not please tell me it will keep me up at night
im not even being sarcastic

Re: [text]

[profanation]

You've given me a whole new option :O
1

[text]

[itsknighttime]

fuck
no really what is it
like at least give me a hint or something

is it bigger than a breadbox?
saltier than my ex?
throwbackier than bellbottoms?

[text]

[profanation]

:)
X)

[text] I gave you an f in the chat, but only because I do that all too often ♥

[itsknighttime]

ahhh shit
cmon now youre playing with my very sleep health here
im still a growing lad
ill end up short and then what?
youll look back on the past
probably over my head because i'll be four foot two
and be like
damn
all i had to do was tell him
this could have all been avoided
karen wouldnt have left with the kids and i wouldnt have had to speak to the manager on my own

thank you for this show of Respect ♥

[profanation]

Ah... this is a fate I'd rather avoid!
I'd best just spit it out for you...

[itsknighttime]

[[To which there is like a long pause, because he's trying to see if t here's a followup message, and this is worse than that one song where you're waiting in antici...]]

oh my god
yes
yes it would
please dont have like fallen asleep
or been sent home like right in the middle of telling me
i swear to god i will reverse this god damn timeline
i will turn this timeline around and no one will get to go on the family trip

[profanation]

Would you fill out this survey for me?
It won't take a minute!
:)

[ Wasn't that worth it. ]

[itsknighttime]

god damnit not only are you a telemarketer
youre a god damn asmr telemarketer who earned my damn survey clicks
and my admiration
no one trolls that hard but me
i cant even be fuckin mad because im too aware of my breathing and my tongue in relation to my fuckin breath

good show

[profanation]

lol
Thank you for your participation!
I'm sure I will be able to send this data to the superiors who insisted I give it out.
:)
Now you can go to sleep!

[itsknighttime]

oh cool
can you send them a big fuck you for me too for ripping me away so they can succubusincubus my life energy away
tell me that things i dont have the time to do is optional and then haha jk youll turn into a crystal if you dont do what i say
instead of letting me live a happy life?
i didnt see an other on the form or id have put it there myself

i cant sleep either im busy being aware of my tongue

[profanation]

[ It's actually funny, in a not terribly amusing way, how much of that Ardyn agrees with. ]

Of course I can pass it on.
All joking aside, while I may only have one foot in the door of the Lunar Scientia, I can still represent the Moonblessed there.
If you have any complaints you may give them to me and I can see to it that they are passed on.

And, joking back on:
Would you like some ASMR to help you forget about your tongue and lull you into sleep?
:)

[itsknighttime]

haha shit you were serious
okay well you get my vote next election i guess
they really fucked my best bro though he literally cant sleep properly without shit from home and they didnt even take that into consideration so idk if you could kick a knee cap verbally for me thatd be cool im pretty pissed about it
i got his shit he needs now but yknow its the point of the matter

oh
shit yeah sure
ive been trying to get onto a nocturnal schedule but god damn i could use the sleep
but before you put me into a comatose state
give me one word to describe your outlook on life

[profanation]

Well, of course. Your friend's basic needs ought to have been supplied as soon as they were made known.
But to answer your question:
Optimistic.

[ Is it a lie or not? Who can tell! Certainly not Ardyn, who does have certain optimisms about the future that others would consider more fatalistic. ]

[itsknighttime]

theyre the ones that kidnapped him
maybe do their research before they get a pet yeah?

optimistic
i can work with that
gimme a few

[[Still valid.]]

[profanation]

By all means!
It's the least I can do for someone who helped me with my survey :)

[itsknighttime]

here you go man
all you bro
viral marketer to the extreme

the noise i made irl must have woken up my neighbours

[profanation]

[ Ardyn listens.

And Ardyn immediately downloads and sets this to his ringtone. It's his new favourite thing. ]

That's got me written all over it!
I especially like the album art.
Thank you, Mr turntechGodhead.
A man whose name tells all one needs to know about him!

haha awesome! sorry for your neighbours

[itsknighttime]

[[Sure hope that people ring for quite a while so he can hear the whole thing.]]

a man with good sense and an eye for good art
haha
for you?
dave
just dave

[[His ego needs no help.]]

[profanation]

[ He will absolutely let it ring out at least once. ]

Very well then, Dave.
You may call me Ardyn!
I'll be sure to see your complaints along to those higher up the ladder.
Can't promise more than that at this time, however!
Politics. Don't drop your musical career for one in that field, let me tell you!

[itsknighttime]

[[This mun is very glad to hear.]]

ardyn is a cool name
like if you had a business card i guarantee theyd look at it and be like keeping that one for the name alone
nah just as long as someone hears them idc its bs that theyre treating him like this they even brought him in daytime and hes nocturnal
anyway if i bitch any more im going to need a new haircut and a soccer van so thanks again is what i mean

man i could never get into politics ever
last time i heard someone like me got into politics they got offed
[[Someone who was him, twice, but he's not interested in explaining himself as part of paradoxes.]]
no career here though in fact im feeling a career deficit
are you a politician back home too?

[profanation]

Thank you.
My parents picked it out for me.

[ Didn't they? It was so long ago. He barely remembered them. 'Family' had meant 'Somnus and Aera' for quite some time even before... everything. ]

I feel for your friend!
I have quite a bad allergy to sunlight myself.
Fortunately, the city has quite an active night life!
And yes, back home I was a politician!
Slightly different role than I have now, though :)

[itsknighttime]

we have so much in common
my bro picked mine out for me too

man see
this is what i mean the fucks wrong with these guys?

oh cool
at least you know what youre doing and arent just flying by the seat of your pants

[profanation]

Dave, I have a secret.
No politicians know what they're doing.

[itsknighttime]

then you havent met the right politician
too bad my world blew up youd have probably liked the same one i did
i gotta trust someone right
either that or like i gotta say to myself
do i trust youre doing right for me my brother and my best bro who needs someone to fight for him for sure and the rest of us or do i just gotta keep tryin to figure it out on my own?
i like to think youre not a shitty guy so im going with trusting you know what youre doing