text | un: ectoplasmer

[hauhra]

Need a costume for that Halloween party you'll be going to at the end of the month, but can't come up with any ideas? Got too many ideas and not enough time to review them all? Then have I got the post for you! Tell this genuine ghoul your costume woes, and get expert advice in all things spooky back.

Of course, my expertise comes with a small fee of 100 Chroma for each costume recommendation. [ suspicious? maybe. ] But you can't win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket, right? So come on! Give it a try. I promise you won't be disappointed!

Comments

un: asdfghjkl

[godcards]

I find it hard to believe that a "genuine ghoul" is giving costume advice.

[hauhra]

The moons that orbit Prismatica give all of us Moonblessed animalistic features once a month, and that's the least believable thing you've seen?

You must be new.

[ Shut up Bakura you've only been here for like, a month. ]

[godcards]

That's exactly why I don't believe you... Whether it is the individual or the moons, everyone wants to be as appealing as possible. I know what real ghouls are like, and this planet doesn't provide nearly anything as gruesome.


[ this is stupid. they're stupid. ]

[hauhra]

This planet, no.

But the worlds its government pulls all of us from, yes. You'll be in for a real bad time if you think that all of us Moonblessed are mortal like you.

[godcards]

I'm not convinced that a ghoul is worthy of any blessing, regardless of what the moons say.

But if that is how you're going to be... Go ahead and play your little scheme, I could use some entertainment.

[hauhra]

Let's start with the free consultation then, asdfghjkl.

I always like to start by asking my clients what they're interested in. That helps me choose a costume that suits their personality, and that they're more likely to actually like. Would you mind telling me what you like to do for fun, or what things you enjoy?

[godcards]

I like motorcycles.

[hauhra]

Is that right? How interesting! I knew someone who liked motorcycles back on my world, so this recommendation will be easy.

However, it will cost you 100 Chroma to receive your finalized suggestion. And remember, you won't get better costume advice anywhere else!

[godcards]

WHAT?? You think you can extort me for a mere suggestion? There's no guarantee that I will even like it. I won't pay that much to support your flimsy, poorly executed business practice. However... Since I am feeling generous, I can offer 5 Chroma. That's better than nothing at all, ESPECIALLY when you expect me to pay without knowing what it is I'm paying for.

[hauhra]

Likewise, there's no guarantee that my clients will pay once I've given them their suggestion.

But very well: let's make it a non-refundable deposit of 50 Chroma instead.

You can pay me the remaining 50 if you like your result.

[ you wanna haggle bro let's GO ]

[godcards]

No. That's still too much to even pique my curiosity.

If you insist on a deposit, I will only pay it if it is refundable. If I don't like it, I want my Chroma back. It IS a finite resource after all... And why should you get to reap all the benefits when you aren't providing anything in return? That's hardly fair.

10 Chroma deposit MAYBE if you make it refundable. You haven't convinced me that your services are worth it.

[hauhra]

Is that why you're desperately trying to get me to lower the price so that you can afford it, then?

[godcards]

No, it is because I refuse to be swindled.

[hauhra]

You say that as though I'm forcing you to buy my services at knifepoint.

[ maybe get off prismagram and touch grass, malik ]

[godcards]

[ no!!!! ]

The least you could do is come to a reasonable compromise... A preview before payment. Or else I can't pay in good faith. Anyone would know that!

[hauhra]

Fine.

A nonrefundable deposit of 15 Chroma, and a final cost of 35 Chroma if you like the recommendation.

[godcards]

10 Chroma deposit. Then I'll pay the other 40 if I like the recommendation.

Final offer.

[hauhra]

All right then, 10 Chroma. Deal.

[ He's definitely gritting his teeth at his communication bracelet right now. He had been hoping for more gullible takers. ]

Now pay up.

[godcards]

My, my! You sure are hasty all of a sudden... But very well. I expect to not be disappointed.

[ Ffffine he'll send it. ]

[hauhra]

Thank you. 👍

[ ectoplasmer sent file asdfghjkl-costume.jpg ]

[godcards]

GIVE ME MY 10 CHROMA BACK

[hauhra]

Sorry, all deposits are nonrefundable.

[godcards]

NO!!!!!! GIVE IT BACK!!!!!!!

[hauhra]