prismatica | Text

Good afternoon Lunatia!

I'm Larry; Larry Laffer. I'm kind of new around here. It's nice to meet you all!

Now that Halloween/Geistnacht festivities are wrapping up, we're headed into November, or what we just call "the eleventh month" around here, I guess. Anyway, where I come from, there's a holiday called Thanksgiving that falls on the fourth Thursday of the month. It is what it says on the tin: a harvest holiday to give thanks for the previous year's crop. You celebrate it by hanging out with your family and loved ones, eat a gratuitous amount of seasonally appropriate food and drink, and watch sports on television together.

I'd like to host something like that here, if anyone would be interested. I know some of us might be missing our families from back home, but that doesn't mean we can't celebrate the friends and lovers that we've made here! Bring all the food and/or booze your heart desires, but as the host it's my responsibility to make the bird. (Whatever is the closest I can find to a turkey around here.)

On an absolutely related note, I could use someone on consult that knows how to cook.

This is meant to be an "open to all ages" kind of thing, but I was thinking that we could also have a post-dessert dessert of an orgy for those who qualify. That's not part of the tradition, but that doesn't mean we can't make it ours. I just figured that maybe everyone would like to leave the party topped off with turkey and Chroma for their holiday shopping. No pressure or anything, though!

RSVP here or on my answering machine if you're interested.

LL

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

But you time-traveled to the future somehow before you got here?

Yeah. I don't know how.

I was born in 1988 and raised to 2015 but recently moved to 2104 due to unknown... Well, complicated circumstances.
You're the only other person I've met here who's been put through all that on their own planet. Hope you got a taste of the 21st century before this, at least. Maybe I'm biased, but I liked it.

Edited 2019-11-09 01:43 (UTC)

Yeah, I did. It's a lot of...a lot. I like it, but there's definitely a learning curve.

Small multiverse, huh?

Yeah. Earth sure feels tiny now.

Would you go back to 1986, if you could?

Nah. It wasn't that bad of a year, but I'm not particularly attached to it. If I had the chance to go back in time I would probably try to make something more out of the 70s, or see what I'm missing of the 90's/00's.

[ "I'm not particularly attached to it and wouldn't go back", what a totally foreign take on time displacement. ]

What would you re-do in the '70s?

[Hell naw. He ain't no turnip-lovin' basic bitch.]

What wouldn't I do?

Keep disco from dying. Duh.

Oh, and probably get a head-start on the game by making Eunuchs before anyone else hatches a similar idea. Get into software development instead of sales.

[In other words: get off his lazy ass.]

[ Simon knows the Bargaining Phase of lost pasts all too well. ]

Sorry, hang on. "Eunuchs"?

A multitasking multiuser operating system for the Intel 8088.

[D...uh?]

Right, that one. How could I forget?

You've heard of it?!

Well, we don't call it that where I'm from, unless it's a programmer joke I don't know about.

Oh, maybe they changed the name...

It became the property of my then-father-in-law so it's anyone's guess as to how he handled distribution after that.

[ "Then-father-in-law" does not go unnoticed. Big oof. ]

If you can't go back and invent it, you'll just have to make something even better.

[It happens.]

I'll admit, I've considered it. Maybe once I have some extra time on my hands.

[Yeah. Because you're just so busy right now.]

Oh yeah, you're new. How're you adjusting so far?

Oh, I love this place! With the exception of the orgy proposal, everything's been going off without a hitch.

[Except he still hasn't got laid yet, but...you know, give it time.]

[ we believe in you, larry ]

Uh, yeah. The sex thing is culture shock for most people.

Maybe you just belong here. I didn't think I was a prude on Earth, but I guess I am one now.

Are you sure you are? You're one of the few people responding to this that hasn't made me out to be a complete nutjob.

[So if Simon's a prude, what are the others?]

I mean, would you have put this out as a public invitation on Earth?

Of course! But if Timber had a BBS functionality, I never found it.

Uh, yeah. Might want to try something else. You're coming on a little strong. A lot strong.

Yeah. Got it.

[Message received.]

Anyway, good to meet you, Larry. It's nice to talk to somebody who feels so... close to home, I guess.

[ On the Internet nobody knows you're a freaky robot without a proper head, so this is a perfect arrangement and need not change in any way. ]

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loungelizard - 2019-11-16 21:27 (UTC) - Expand

theseuschip - 2019-11-22 01:25 (UTC) - Expand