❧ text; un: alucard

[reposing]

Greetings.

I have a request to make and am willing to pay as one sees fit.
I need a coffin to be made with careful specifications. Some requirements would include ensuring that it is made with the intent to last for many years, the interior to be comfortable enough for a man to rest in, and perhaps a few other details depending on your skill set.

Before you ask, yes. It is for me.
Take that as you will.

Comments

[dies]

its got a little coffin that it lives in

thats what banana peels are right

fruit coffins

[reposing]

It's more like a skin.

[dies]

its kind of coffin shaped

do you think there's a better vampire fruit or veggie because you're the expert here i guess

[reposing]

Tell me. What does a vampire normally eat?

[dies]

nicotine mostly in my experience

[reposing]

That is
not correct.

Are you sure you're familiar with vampires?

[dies]

a few. maybe more. i mean you don't go around asking 'hey are you a creature of the night' when you meet someone that's kind of rude so i dunno maybe some people i know could be vampires and i wouldn't know because i never asked

i guess you wanted me to say people blood but i never saw a vampire eating blood. maybe they do at home i dunno what vampires eat at home but you cant serve people blood in cafes because can you imagine the health code violations

but also it's not a fruit or veggie

[reposing]

You have a very peculiar line of thinking, don't you.

[dies]

look if you're going to sleep in a coffin you need to get potassium

and nicotine maybe i don't know if vampires need that or if i just know vampires with bad habits

i just want you to be healthy and safe and not have leg cramps

[reposing]

I really don't need any of that, though I appreciate your... concern?