《坂田 銀時》Sakata Gintoki (
naturallywavy) wrote in
prismatica2020-01-04 06:54 pm
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
( VIDEO. ) | JAN.4TH | PEOPLE YOU MISS THE MOST SMELL THE WORST
Hey, it's your favorite protagonist, Monkey D. Ichigo here.
[ What. He moves right along without blinking at eye at his own joke. ]
It's come to my attention that there's people here who still need jobs. I'm a boss who is in need of help myself. I'm looking for two subordinates. Ah, could it be you..!? Could it be your lucky day..!?
Don't get too excited. I'm looking for specific qualifications. Replacing people ain't easy, especially when you have 77 volumes of memories with them. Moving right along..
First off is the straight man, the guy that really brings in all of the jokes. A virgin, a loser. 95% glasses, 3% water, 2% garbage. Your love life should be absolute trash and you idolize idols. Bowl cut is nice but not mandatory. Must answer to Pattsuan.
Second slot is for the cheap heroine. Most unladylike, flat-chested and graceless. Charming and cute in her own way, but could kick your ass. Having the appetite of a whole horse is required.
Ah, I almost forgot.. bonus points if you look anything like this.
[ Here, he holds up a drawing. Clearly, a masterpiece: ]

Thanks for your time.
[ BUT.. HE NEVER DESCRIBES WHAT KIND OF WORK HE DOES?? ]
[ What. He moves right along without blinking at eye at his own joke. ]
It's come to my attention that there's people here who still need jobs. I'm a boss who is in need of help myself. I'm looking for two subordinates. Ah, could it be you..!? Could it be your lucky day..!?
Don't get too excited. I'm looking for specific qualifications. Replacing people ain't easy, especially when you have 77 volumes of memories with them. Moving right along..
First off is the straight man, the guy that really brings in all of the jokes. A virgin, a loser. 95% glasses, 3% water, 2% garbage. Your love life should be absolute trash and you idolize idols. Bowl cut is nice but not mandatory. Must answer to Pattsuan.
Second slot is for the cheap heroine. Most unladylike, flat-chested and graceless. Charming and cute in her own way, but could kick your ass. Having the appetite of a whole horse is required.
Ah, I almost forgot.. bonus points if you look anything like this.
[ Here, he holds up a drawing. Clearly, a masterpiece: ]

Thanks for your time.
[ BUT.. HE NEVER DESCRIBES WHAT KIND OF WORK HE DOES?? ]
video
no subject
Well, yeah. It's a lot easier to do that since I haven't come across a pachinko parlor here yet.
[ He's he insinuating he didn't pay the people back home he's trying to replace? Absolutely. ]
A portion of their paychecks went to a rightful cause. Don't worry.
[ WHICH IS GAMBLING. ]
no subject
Right. Good luck with that.
no subject
You give off world-known, major franchise heroine vibes.
no subject
I have no idea what that means, and I'm not interested in being someone's lackey.
no subject
You're missing out on a lifetime of bonded hearts and fond memories, but suit yourself.
Aaa, what about something even better. A client, maybe.
You have a request? You need something done, kid?
no subject
[ She frowns, a little sad. She'd had a friend that could have been that, once.
Being called "kid" however, makes her bristle a little. ]
No, anything I need done I can do myself.
no subject
Gintoki cocks an eyebrow upward, not sure. ]
You can't make friends yourself. It takes at least you and another person to form a bond.
[ What is he insinuating here? ]
So if you need anything, or just company, you can count on me.
[ HMMM. ]
Though, that's exactly what a heroine would say to another guy.
It's pretty unoriginal.
no subject
I guess that's true. It just seems like you're looking for very specific people that don't necessarily exist.
[ She pauses, before adding ]
My name is Rey.
no subject
[ Gintoki, please. ]
Rey-san, huh? What sort of skills do you have?
You know, not as an underling, but as someone I could count on if I need to.
[ Surely that'll reel her in a bit. ]
no subject
I was a scavenger. I can fix almost anything, though here that's been a little trickier. I've been learning about how the magic with the machines works. I'm also skilled with a staff and lightsaber.
[ She'll leave out all the Force stuff for the moment, that's always weird to explain. ]
no subject
Lightsaber? Is that the same thing as a beam saber?
[ Spoilers: it is. ]
no subject
Probably? Here, I'll show you.
[ She reaches off-screen, presumably to her belt the way the camera is shuffled, before sitting back enough with the blade, and igniting it. ]
no subject
Oiiiii! I fought somebody who had something like that! His name was.. Obi Hajime! Yeah, yeah.. some people back home are starting to prefer to beam saber over the actual sword.
[ That gets him thinking.. ]
I bet you'd make a decent samurai if you know how to use that thing.