( VIDEO. ) | JAN.4TH | PEOPLE YOU MISS THE MOST SMELL THE WORST

[naturallywavy]

Hey, it's your favorite protagonist, Monkey D. Ichigo here.

_{[ What. He moves right along without blinking at eye at his own joke. ]}

It's come to my attention that there's people here who still need jobs. I'm a boss who is in need of help myself. I'm looking for two subordinates. Ah, could it be you..!? Could it be your lucky day..!?

Don't get too excited. I'm looking for specific qualifications. Replacing people ain't easy, especially when you have 77 volumes of memories with them. Moving right along..

First off is the straight man, the guy that really brings in all of the jokes. A virgin, a loser. 95% glasses, 3% water, 2% garbage. Your love life should be absolute trash and you idolize idols. Bowl cut is nice but not mandatory. Must answer to Pattsuan.

Second slot is for the cheap heroine. Most unladylike, flat-chested and graceless. Charming and cute in her own way, but could kick your ass. Having the appetite of a whole horse is required.

Ah, I almost forgot.. bonus points if you look anything like this.

_{[ Here, he holds up a drawing. Clearly, a masterpiece: ]}



Thanks for your time.

_{[ BUT.. HE NEVER DESCRIBES WHAT KIND OF WORK HE DOES?? ]}

Comments

Video - UN: hopefulfuture

[despairing_hope]

Instead of trying to replace your friends, shouldn't you tell us what the duties are?

[naturallywavy]

_{[ Ah. Kindred, curly white hair bretheren. He understands your pain (at least when it comes to hair styling.) ]}

Aaa, should I have?
What for?

[despairing_hope]

[If only he knew such a complex was being projected on him.]

Well, it's easier to find someone to do the duties than to replace actual people. Isnt it too much to ask that?

video.

[tensasai]

You again.

So you want people to openly admit they have these bad qualities you're looking for to-

[wait.]

You didn't even say what this was about?!

[naturallywavy]

_{[ Without even looking up at the screen: ]}

You're hired.

[tensasai]

Consider this my resignation!!

video

[provenforce]

Are you actually going to pay these people you're obviously planning on degrading on a regular basis?

[naturallywavy]

_{[ Man, she's calling him out right away. Nice. ]}

Well, yeah. It's a lot easier to do that since I haven't come across a pachinko parlor here yet.

_{[ He's he insinuating he didn't pay the people back home he's trying to replace? Absolutely. ]}

A portion of their paychecks went to a rightful cause. Don't worry.
_{[ WHICH IS GAMBLING. ]}

[provenforce]

[ Rey's got a real good 'wtf' face that's getting a lot of mileage right now. ]

Right. Good luck with that.

voice

[kesi]

... It may be beneficial to your hiring process to describe what the job entails.

[He's trying to be nice and offer advice instead of wonder if Gintoki has any shame.]

[naturallywavy]

Right. About that..

_{[ A little rustling of paper. ]}

I don't actually know.
Work for me anyways.

[kesi]

... What exactly would you have me do? [Takame no.]

Voice - UN: pumpaction

[angelshot]

What, you couldn't hack it on your own so now you gotta find two useless losers to do all your dirty work?

[ SHOTS FIRED. ]

[naturallywavy]

Aaaa, what the hell? There's something slutty coming out of my device right now. Help me, somebody! The kids will hear!

_{[ Yeah just. This is how he responds to being called out. ]}

[angelshot]

Oh is someone else listening?

Wow, I guess I'd really better not bring up the really risque stuff... like how you still can't figure out a bra strap to save your goddamn life. Ooooops.

« video » un: matriarch

[menphina]

[ Is this guy for real. ]

I fit a few of those cheap heroine descriptions and I'm not sure I like it.

[naturallywavy]

_{[ Gintoki wrinkles his nose. ]}

Sorry. I don't accept cat-girls. It's a little too basic.

_{[ RUDE. ]}

Well, I know what quality you don't have on that list.

_{[ Flat-chested.
Oh. He's just ogling her even if he rejected her. ]}

video; un: kishibe

[penpoint]

[ What. ]

I think I found some crayons of yours. You may need them to finish your drawing.

[naturallywavy]

My drawing is perfect, what are you talking about.
Hey, I didn't ask for your critique.

[video] un: firefist

[burnt_offering]

[Wait. This guy is another D.?

And part of the Monkey family?

Ace never asked Garp how many kids he had. Or who else he was related to. It's entirely possible that this guy really is related to his brother. He's certainly weird enough to be part of the Monkey family.]

I'm not interested in being an underling. I'm interested in knowing how you're related to my brother. There aren't a lot of Monkey D.'s back home. That I know of anyway.

i'm getting you back this tIME

[naturallywavy]

_{[ Gintoki is just going to SPUTTER because holy shit. These JUMP characters just keep coming. This is also like seeing ghost, so Gintoki's reaction is similar.
But of course, he's being given a rare opportunity, so what does he do? He makes everything worse. ]}

A-AAAA, yeah, yeah! That's me, alright! I'm.. you know.. we're cousins. Long lost cousins! <sub>As in, we're in completely different series lost cousins!

[ Because being related to Luffy is COOL, okay? He idolizes that guy. ]</sub>

text | un: pArtyLiKeItS1999

[nipzips]

Mr. Gin ...

Are you feeling lonely? [ Maybe it's a middle-aged crisis ... ]

[naturallywavy]

_{[ What the hell. ]}

i didn't say anything like that
i didn't insinuate something like that

i'm a main character dammit
i love my tragic backstory
and too many failed love interests just
fine

_{[ HOW DOES THIS KID KNOW ]}

video; un: benefic

[aheroipray]

[ Squints, while wearing glasses. How does that work with no human ears and bunny ears? Don't worry about it. ]

Are those... just a pair of glasses?

[naturallywavy]

Aaa? Yeah.

In fact, you look pretty suited for the role.. same megane species and all.