( VIDEO. ) | JAN.4TH | PEOPLE YOU MISS THE MOST SMELL THE WORST

[naturallywavy]

Hey, it's your favorite protagonist, Monkey D. Ichigo here.

_{[ What. He moves right along without blinking at eye at his own joke. ]}

It's come to my attention that there's people here who still need jobs. I'm a boss who is in need of help myself. I'm looking for two subordinates. Ah, could it be you..!? Could it be your lucky day..!?

Don't get too excited. I'm looking for specific qualifications. Replacing people ain't easy, especially when you have 77 volumes of memories with them. Moving right along..

First off is the straight man, the guy that really brings in all of the jokes. A virgin, a loser. 95% glasses, 3% water, 2% garbage. Your love life should be absolute trash and you idolize idols. Bowl cut is nice but not mandatory. Must answer to Pattsuan.

Second slot is for the cheap heroine. Most unladylike, flat-chested and graceless. Charming and cute in her own way, but could kick your ass. Having the appetite of a whole horse is required.

Ah, I almost forgot.. bonus points if you look anything like this.

_{[ Here, he holds up a drawing. Clearly, a masterpiece: ]}



Thanks for your time.

_{[ BUT.. HE NEVER DESCRIBES WHAT KIND OF WORK HE DOES?? ]}

Comments

[angelshot]

Oh is someone else listening?

Wow, I guess I'd really better not bring up the really risque stuff... like how you still can't figure out a bra strap to save your goddamn life. Ooooops.

[naturallywavy]

That's already old and you know it, Pervert-san.

[angelshot]

Yeah? And?

You've had a shitload of time to figure it out. No excuses.

[naturallywavy]

_{[ A HUGE SIGH. ]}

Seriously. What do you want other than to antagonize me today? This is kind of serious thing I'm dealing with.

_{[ with a serious drawing involved... ]}

[angelshot]

Serious, huh.

[ All right, all right. She'll tune down the jackassery for the time being. ]

So what's the deal then? Putting out an ad is a pretty weird way of making new friends.

[naturallywavy]

It's just what I do.

_{[ What. He still hasn't gone on about what he actually does. ]}

I bring people together. Usually misfits, people who don't fit in, and we.. do stuff.

_{[ Just admit it. You're basically a jobless bum and you enjoy bringing other jobless bums together and doing a bunch of nothing. ]}

Unlike some people here, I don't want to just **** for money.

_{[ Though, he's been pretty easy so far as Panty has experienced. ]}

How did I lose this tag WOW my bad

[angelshot]

You "do stuff". Right.

[ Yeah, super not suspicious or anything there, Gintoki. Panty might sound just the tiniest bit skeptical about the extent of this "stuff" and what it entails, air quotes and all. ]

Don't get all sassy at me over your weirdly specific cult hobby. Jealousy is so not a good look on you.

BIG MOOD...

[naturallywavy]

I do do stuff! It's what the main character is supposed to do! Things!

_{[ Gin-san, please. ]}

What do you mean jealousy? I ain't jealous of anything.

[angelshot]

Yeah? Like what, hotshot? Community service?

[ Do tell, Gintoki. Wax poetic about all those good deeds and all that hard work Main Characters are so great at. ]

Really. So you don't spend all your free time sitting in your apartment doing nothing, huh.

[naturallywavy]

I don't. I never have.

_{[ WELL. ]}

I mean, unless people didn't send me to work, then yeah, I'd take the day off. What's wrong with that?

[angelshot]

Nothing, actually. I was just curious.

[ And it's not like she can really go around pointing fingers being a legit lazyass herself. Whoops. ]

Can't really blame you for the creeper ad, I guess... sitting at home alone gets so fucking boring after a while.