( VIDEO. ) | JAN.4TH | PEOPLE YOU MISS THE MOST SMELL THE WORST

[naturallywavy]

Hey, it's your favorite protagonist, Monkey D. Ichigo here.

_{[ What. He moves right along without blinking at eye at his own joke. ]}

It's come to my attention that there's people here who still need jobs. I'm a boss who is in need of help myself. I'm looking for two subordinates. Ah, could it be you..!? Could it be your lucky day..!?

Don't get too excited. I'm looking for specific qualifications. Replacing people ain't easy, especially when you have 77 volumes of memories with them. Moving right along..

First off is the straight man, the guy that really brings in all of the jokes. A virgin, a loser. 95% glasses, 3% water, 2% garbage. Your love life should be absolute trash and you idolize idols. Bowl cut is nice but not mandatory. Must answer to Pattsuan.

Second slot is for the cheap heroine. Most unladylike, flat-chested and graceless. Charming and cute in her own way, but could kick your ass. Having the appetite of a whole horse is required.

Ah, I almost forgot.. bonus points if you look anything like this.

_{[ Here, he holds up a drawing. Clearly, a masterpiece: ]}



Thanks for your time.

_{[ BUT.. HE NEVER DESCRIBES WHAT KIND OF WORK HE DOES?? ]}

Comments

voice

[kesi]

... It may be beneficial to your hiring process to describe what the job entails.

[He's trying to be nice and offer advice instead of wonder if Gintoki has any shame.]

[naturallywavy]

Right. About that..

_{[ A little rustling of paper. ]}

I don't actually know.
Work for me anyways.

[kesi]

... What exactly would you have me do? [Takame no.]

[naturallywavy]

It's kind of like going to an arcade and expecting to win. Win what? Oi, we just don't know.
Can't really tell you.

All you need is a willing heart and take whatever requests you're given.

_{[ Sketchy af. ]}

[kesi]

[what's sad is this sounds like exactly what Takame did in Eorzea. He hasn't said "no" yet.]

Freelancing, then? I am not unfamiliar with such work... [A pause.] ... Why set such [an unnecessarily degrading] a specific criteria for their appearance in that case?

[naturallywavy]

'Cause that's how it was back home.
We were a team. A pretty special team.

_{[ Real truth: he misses them. ]}

[kesi]

But hiring people who resemble and act like them will not truly replace them...

[Says the hypocrite who also sees right through you, Gintoki.]

[naturallywavy]

_{[ Gintoki parts his lips, then closes them, then opens them again: ]}

They've missed their chance to get here and stick with Yorozuya. I can't afford slackers.

_{[ GIN-SAN, YOUR WHOLE GROUP WAS MADE UP OF SLACKERS. ]}