( VIDEO. ) | JAN.4TH | PEOPLE YOU MISS THE MOST SMELL THE WORST

[naturallywavy]

Hey, it's your favorite protagonist, Monkey D. Ichigo here.

_{[ What. He moves right along without blinking at eye at his own joke. ]}

It's come to my attention that there's people here who still need jobs. I'm a boss who is in need of help myself. I'm looking for two subordinates. Ah, could it be you..!? Could it be your lucky day..!?

Don't get too excited. I'm looking for specific qualifications. Replacing people ain't easy, especially when you have 77 volumes of memories with them. Moving right along..

First off is the straight man, the guy that really brings in all of the jokes. A virgin, a loser. 95% glasses, 3% water, 2% garbage. Your love life should be absolute trash and you idolize idols. Bowl cut is nice but not mandatory. Must answer to Pattsuan.

Second slot is for the cheap heroine. Most unladylike, flat-chested and graceless. Charming and cute in her own way, but could kick your ass. Having the appetite of a whole horse is required.

Ah, I almost forgot.. bonus points if you look anything like this.

_{[ Here, he holds up a drawing. Clearly, a masterpiece: ]}



Thanks for your time.

_{[ BUT.. HE NEVER DESCRIBES WHAT KIND OF WORK HE DOES?? ]}

Comments

[naturallywavy]

Living plants? You mean Pir*nha Plants? You might be asking the wrong plumber for advice on something like that.

_{[ He lifts a finger and starts picking at his ear. ]}

Tentacles.. I've dealt with that plenty of times.
It's not often you can have someone say something like that and mean it in a professional way and not a hentai way.

_{[ There's been plenty of aliens he's fought with tentacles.. just saying. ]}

[menphina]

I'm a healer. I need those tentacles and whatever they secrete for making medication. Could fight those creatures off myself, but then they get their juice over me and it's annoying to have to take care of it.

[ So, so professional. ]

So, I can pay someone else to do it. It'll cut down on production time. What do you say?

[naturallywavy]

_{[ Gintoki doesn't seem too bothered with this task, all things considered. However, like always, he has to make sure the price fits the task. ]}

Depends.
How much are you willing to pay me for this? And how often do you need it done? I'll even retrieve the secretions for you in nice, organized jars.

[menphina]

The tentacles have everything I need to get those secretions out. I need at least a whole monster's worth. Six of them. One monster is enough for plenty of batches, so I don't need more than that.

[ She blinks. ]

How much would you want for it?

[naturallywavy]

It sounds like it can be a sticky situation I find myself in, so.. for the trouble..

_{[ He names his price. Idk man. But it's something above average. ]}

How's that sound?

[menphina]

Think that's a little too less for what I'm asking for.

[ She'll send him a higher amount ]

I'll pay that much. Six tentacles off a single plant-monster. I'll provide the jars. Don't break them.

[ And a wink. ]

Don't get the excretions on you. They have side effects.