( VIDEO. ) | JAN.4TH | PEOPLE YOU MISS THE MOST SMELL THE WORST

[naturallywavy]

Hey, it's your favorite protagonist, Monkey D. Ichigo here.

_{[ What. He moves right along without blinking at eye at his own joke. ]}

It's come to my attention that there's people here who still need jobs. I'm a boss who is in need of help myself. I'm looking for two subordinates. Ah, could it be you..!? Could it be your lucky day..!?

Don't get too excited. I'm looking for specific qualifications. Replacing people ain't easy, especially when you have 77 volumes of memories with them. Moving right along..

First off is the straight man, the guy that really brings in all of the jokes. A virgin, a loser. 95% glasses, 3% water, 2% garbage. Your love life should be absolute trash and you idolize idols. Bowl cut is nice but not mandatory. Must answer to Pattsuan.

Second slot is for the cheap heroine. Most unladylike, flat-chested and graceless. Charming and cute in her own way, but could kick your ass. Having the appetite of a whole horse is required.

Ah, I almost forgot.. bonus points if you look anything like this.

_{[ Here, he holds up a drawing. Clearly, a masterpiece: ]}



Thanks for your time.

_{[ BUT.. HE NEVER DESCRIBES WHAT KIND OF WORK HE DOES?? ]}

Comments

[naturallywavy]

that's cause you're polished
your only flaw is when someone talks bad about your hair
even then it's a charm point
so of course you don't think that way

come over here so i can beat your ass
i've had plenty of practice since the anime went on hiatus a lot
i had nothing better to do

[nipzips]

oh. thanks ...? i don't get praise like that a lot

[ Why does Gintoki think so highly of him when he's just a dumbass kid? That's always going to baffle him. ]

sure, let's play!! i was gonna head over to hang out anyway

[naturallywavy]

_{[ The feelings are mutual. Why does Josuke have high regard for Gintoki? He’s just a useless old man— just a step above MADAO honestly. Even that is a compliment. ]}

doors open
just come on in

action!

[nipzips]

[ With the open invitation, Josuke goes over to Gintoki's place and lets himself in. ] Yo, Mr. Gin.

[ He'll take off his shoes like a good boy and give Sadaharu a pat on the head if the strange dog wanders over. On the way in, he does spot Gintoki's crude drawing lying on the table (or something). ]

Is she, uh, one of your failed love interests? [ Gintoki said nothing about the girl in the picture being a young teen. ]

[naturallywavy]

_{[ Gintoki is relaxing on the couch by the time Josuke invites himself inside and he lifts his hand in a wave before looking at the drawing he presented on the network. ]}

I wouldn't say failed love interests.. more like failed existence. Her personality is grotesque.

_{[ GIN.. SHE'S BASICALLY YOU. ]}

Oh. She's also sixteen. So I guess that's another reason nothing romantic was ever involved. I wish people would stop drawing doujinshi of us.

_{[ OH. ]}

[nipzips]

[ Gintoki, why are you so needlessly mean to this poor girl. ]

That's a little harsh, dude. [ How bad can one teenage girl be? He can't tell if it's just Gintoki being his strange self or if this girl really is the devil incarnate in chinese buns somehow.

Josuke's also hung out with enough fandom people to at least know what 'doujinshi' is. ] Wait, wait, why the heck are people drawing doujinshi of you guys?! Does that actually happen to real people?

[ He assumed people only made doujinshi about anime characters. ]

[naturallywavy]

There are some things you just won't understand, Josuke-kun. Your anime doesn't allow for it. It's fine.

_{[ DON'T WORRY 'BOUT IT, SWEETHEART... ]}

Man, I can't even imagine Kagura-chan having any sort of love interest. Don't put that idea in my head.

_{[ that's his DAUGHTER!!! ]}

[nipzips]

Maybe it's you I don't understand ... [ Why does he have an anime? Why are people drawing doujinshi of Gintoki and his teenage friend? Personally, Josuke doesn't see anything wrong with the age gap (seeing as there's a 40 year age gap between his mother and father), but the thought of people drawing a person in romantic situations with another person is downright creepy to him. ]

If she's 16 like you said, though, it's not that weird. Lots of girls that age are trying to get with guys. [ He would know, because the girls in is school keep trying to date him. ]

[naturallywavy]

You're talking like someone like her would even have a chance for a successful love life.

_{[ wHY IS HE SO MEAN TO HIS NAKAMA??? ]}

The best kind of lover for her would be a six foot sukonbu and nothing more.

_{[ Gin-chan. Actually, he's just in denial with the fact Kagura is older now and, well, is probably more interested in that type of thing. ]}

Josuke-kun, you wouldn't understand since your family is so large. When you don't have a family, you start to see others that are bound by soul-- not by blood-- as your family.

[nipzips]

[ Why is Gintoki so mean to this poor girl? If she's 16, he can't see how she could be all that bad. Unless it's a situation where she's off her rocker and downright scary (like certain teenage girls he knows), he can't see this girl having a tough time with her love life at all. Of course, the more Gintoki elaborates, the more Josuke puts the pieces together on his own. It's true that he makes stupid decisions at times, but he's still quite a sharp kid. ]

So you see her as your family then. It must be one of those situations where you're acting mean to her because you secretly love her, huh? I was wondering why you were being so hard on this girl for no reason!