text | un: fantasma | dear abba

[teaserving]

hey i'm gonna be a married man in a couple of days and i realized i haven't done one of these in awhile

this is for you guys who are constantly asking for advice on the same shit
or new shit who cares
"what's love like" "how do i be sad" "how do i take a piss" that kind of thing
come at me i'll give my advice and enrich your fucking life

Comments

[teaserving]

ugh that depends
is it somebody i already know?

[doreimi]

Ummmmmm.

Yes?

[teaserving]

does he make you happy?

[doreimi]

Not as happy as you do! But you're a hard act to follow.

He does, though. He makes me really, really happy.

[teaserving]

i wouldnt be mad if he did
you deserve every bit of happiness you know

well
if he does make you happy
i wont kill him i guess

[doreimi]

I dunno, I kinda like it that you set such a high bar. It's good for guys to have to work for it.

[teaserving]

look that's true and all
and you definitely deserve the best
and i'll kick his ass if he's a piece of shit to you
but ultimately i don't wanna be too overbearing

[doreimi]

YOU?? Don't want to be too OVERBEARING??

Are you sure you're feeling okay?

[teaserving]

DON'T BE RUDE IM TRYING TO BE SUPPORTIVE!!!!

[doreimi]

I have no idea where I could've learned such rudeness from! Someone must be rubbing off on me...!

[teaserving]

youre breaking your big brother's heart over here

[doreimi]

NOOOOOO I'll put it back together again!