text | un: fantasma | dear abba

[teaserving]

hey i'm gonna be a married man in a couple of days and i realized i haven't done one of these in awhile

this is for you guys who are constantly asking for advice on the same shit
or new shit who cares
"what's love like" "how do i be sad" "how do i take a piss" that kind of thing
come at me i'll give my advice and enrich your fucking life

Comments

un: grimm

[hagrides]

Why do some humans have body hair and others do not? Do you have subspecies?

[teaserving]

sweet grimm
honey
no

okay
listen
our genes determine certain things like skin color, eye color, etc
same goes for body hair

and you know what sometimes some of us also shave certain parts
like me i am in full on landscape mode i'm gonna get rid of those hedges

[hagrides]

Why would you shave it? Surely the hair is there for a reason. Is this like men and nipples?

Un: 8==D

[miraclewhip]

horny moon keeps trying to make me a better person

how do i get more moon

[teaserving]

because i dont like being hairy??
it's a personal choice
i mean im sure it serves a purpose but not enough to make me stop
i like being hairless

[teaserving]

first of all: nice username i'm only sorry i didnt snag it first

second of all: you dont get more moon by your own choice sorry to say
maybe just stop being shitty

[hagrides]

Fair enough. It is your body to do with what you will.

[Still weird, but not his business.]

[teaserving]

thank you i will
i refuse to be anything like guido "hairyhands" mista

[hagrides]

I was under the impression you two were friends?

[miraclewhip]

what can i say i have a poets soul

well that’s bullshit that sounds like effort

half the people here don’t even want moon why can’t i have their moon

[teaserving]

sure he is
but he's also a smelly hairy bastard and i don't want that

[teaserving]

i hate it to say it but if you think it's something you want it's gonna be full of effort

i don't know?? the moon gods are fucking silly and do shit however they want
i was cordis for awhile and now i'm sanguis
i don't know anyone else who's switched Just Because

[hagrides]

I for one think you smell quite nice.

text, un: bellabelle

[doreimi]

A boy told me he loves me, so my question is: how do I keep my big brother from killing him?

[miraclewhip]

wait shit it can change

i hate that fuck id only just started liking the moon and now i have to hate the moon again

if it changes me to the goopy butt one im punching the moon

[teaserving]

that's because you're a bug of taste :)

[hagrides]

Why thank you.

Your husband-to-be is a very lucky man.

[teaserving]

i'll have you know that iris isn't the worst if you have someone you can make it work with you

[teaserving]

ugh that depends
is it somebody i already know?

[teaserving]

thanks.
honestly, i feel like the lucky one.

[hagrides]

That is what I often hear from those in love.

I wish you many happy years together, my friend.

[doreimi]

Ummmmmm.

Yes?

[teaserving]

does he make you happy?

[doreimi]

Not as happy as you do! But you're a hard act to follow.

He does, though. He makes me really, really happy.

[teaserving]

i wouldnt be mad if he did
you deserve every bit of happiness you know

well
if he does make you happy
i wont kill him i guess