text + embedded video; un: ruffestrabbit; cw: bird poop

[zunge]

When something you uploaded surpasses 250k views in only a week you know it's a real hit.

[At the bottom of that brief post is an embedded PrismaTube video:

Fly-by Bird Poop Dive Bomb
uploaded XXXX-04-04 by ruffestrabbit

[A street somewhat removed from the greatest hustle and bustle of Level 2 is in view. A man with cattle horns walks up on the sidewalk, straightening out his uniform jacket sleeves and adjusting the collar, then flexing and stretching his arms a little and nodding to himself, seemingly pleased with the fit. He stops to light a cigarette. It's at that moment that a bird flies by overhead and drops its load, which lands smack dab on the man's shoulder. He finishes lighting up before glancing over at the bright white wet stain. For a moment he seems frozen in disbelief, then lowers his arms and looks up... only for a second bird-bomb to hit him in the face.]

[The camera shakes slightly while the man stands there like a statue, then he flies into a rage, flinging away the stained cigarette, wiping his face with his sleeve (instantly staining), screaming expletives at the winged perpetrator, and furiously looking around for a projectile. He grabs a potted plant from a vendor's display and hurls it into the air with shocking strength, letting out the most disappointed howl when it misses. He wants to grab another flower pot, but at this point a few people swarm in to hold him back and calm him down. The camera shakes harder, and the video ends on the raging guy being mobbed by heroic bystanders.]

Comments

[zunge]

anytime

i can only imagine the property damage he gets up to. here he could be a literal bull in a china shop

[firstsaderesponder]

yeah, there would always be newspaper stories back home about the amount of property damage he does around the city. it's terrible

[Never mind that Sougo is the one who leaves destruction in his wake! But Noiz doesn't know that.]

[zunge]

tsk tsk. why do they keep him on the payroll despite that?

[firstsaderesponder]

i dunno. our boss is too nice. tho idk what he sees in this guy

[zunge]

the world may never know

[firstsaderesponder]

yeah he's weak and useless too. smh. some guys have all the luck

[mayoninofukucho]

[Since "supersadistmaster" hijacked his thread with the OP he'll hijack this one in true online comment section anarchy fashion.]

Look here, you probably won't believe me, but this guy is full of shit!! I'm his supervisor for a reason!

[zunge]

not doing a good job of keeping him in line, are you? for shame

[mayoninofukucho]

[This guy..!!]

I'd like to see you do better!! Why don't you take him as your apprentice at whatever the hell you do for a living?! If you make it through one week I'll eat my cravat!

[zunge]

Pay me 1000 chroma an hour to do so. I'm not cheap to hire.

You know cravats went out of style a long time ago right?

[mayoninofukucho]

1000 chroma AN HOUR?! What the hell DO you do?! Don't say "make videos" now!

I AM from a long time ago maybe!!

[Hell if he knows where or when this shitposter comes from. In his case the 35 in his user name denotes his birth year... 1835.]

[zunge]

Freelancer. I set my own rates.

It's the 2040s where I'm from. You?

[The pay rate he mentioned is complete and utter bullshit. He's just being a shit. He did once charge someone 50 chroma to answer a question just to make the guy shut up about it.]

[mayoninofukucho]

[Of course he's a freelancer. Those are the worst.]

1860s.

[zunge]

That's the longest ago I ever heard of around here. Usually it's everyone from the late 20th or early 21st.

[mayoninofukucho]

It's not so bad. We got an alien invasion like 10 years ago, and they brought stuff like mobile phones and the internet.

[Apparently that didn't happen everywhere or in every timeline, and yet people still ended up having those things? Wild.]

[zunge]

That has to be the worst lie anyone ever tried to pawn off on me

[mayoninofukucho]

What?! Why the hell would I lie about that!

[zunge]

to see who'd fall for it?

I know I wouldn't have believed anyone about anthropomorphic countries or animals if I hadn't seen them myself.

[mayoninofukucho]

I don't lie to people just for the hell of it!

[He absolutely will lie if it'll save his neck, though.]

And like those things aren't more far-fetched!

[He says that, but he's already encountered the former and seen the latter around, so he believes in them too.]

[zunge]

You never know with some people.

That's why I brought them up. This place has both here. Several of each.

[mayoninofukucho]

Yeah, I saw. Nothing more weird than the aliens who came to my world, though.

[zunge]

Met them already then?

If these aliens are for real, what are they like?

[mayoninofukucho]

Talked to a country lady, saw some animal people. The aliens that invaded my world are all kinds. Some look just like humans, some look like animals walking on two legs and talking. Some are purple or green with an antenna on their head.

[He checks the time. Ugh, he sure got sidetracked arguing here; he should be studying for the Moon Knight exam.]

I've got to get back to work over here. You should, too. Also stop posting shitty videos like that.

[He knows he won't - not if it gets him 250.000 views -, but he'll still say it.]

[zunge]

Nah. The only shitty thing about the video is the bird poop depicted. :P

[mayoninofukucho]

[That cheeky emote... but hey, the guy didn't call him shitty at least. Ugh, wait, why is he grateful for that?! He forces himself to tab out of the conversation. This is why he stays offline!! He'll remember that username, though... or he'll try at least. And while it may not actually be related to the user's Moonblessing he'll watch out for guys with rabbit traits.]