text + embedded video; un: ruffestrabbit; cw: bird poop

[zunge]

When something you uploaded surpasses 250k views in only a week you know it's a real hit.

[At the bottom of that brief post is an embedded PrismaTube video:

Fly-by Bird Poop Dive Bomb
uploaded XXXX-04-04 by ruffestrabbit

[A street somewhat removed from the greatest hustle and bustle of Level 2 is in view. A man with cattle horns walks up on the sidewalk, straightening out his uniform jacket sleeves and adjusting the collar, then flexing and stretching his arms a little and nodding to himself, seemingly pleased with the fit. He stops to light a cigarette. It's at that moment that a bird flies by overhead and drops its load, which lands smack dab on the man's shoulder. He finishes lighting up before glancing over at the bright white wet stain. For a moment he seems frozen in disbelief, then lowers his arms and looks up... only for a second bird-bomb to hit him in the face.]

[The camera shakes slightly while the man stands there like a statue, then he flies into a rage, flinging away the stained cigarette, wiping his face with his sleeve (instantly staining), screaming expletives at the winged perpetrator, and furiously looking around for a projectile. He grabs a potted plant from a vendor's display and hurls it into the air with shocking strength, letting out the most disappointed howl when it misses. He wants to grab another flower pot, but at this point a few people swarm in to hold him back and calm him down. The camera shakes harder, and the video ends on the raging guy being mobbed by heroic bystanders.]

Comments

text; un: supersadistmaster

[firstsaderesponder]

[Sougo wanted to check on PrismaTube for videos of people falling and getting hurt, but...oh, this was so much better than he was expecting. In fact, it's a downright work of art! And it had to be with Hijikata of all people! Utter perfection. Watching it all the way through in the privacy of his room, he had burst out into laughter. He kept watching it multiple times and then proceeded to download the video onto his device. Just a little pick-me-up should he need it.]

this is the GREATEST thing i have ever seen

you know who that guy is?

[zunge]

thanks I had the best luck in catching it when it happened

no fucking clue

[firstsaderesponder]

thank u for your service

[Sougo has no respect for his fellow cop colleagues, but he has all the respect for the guy who recorded a video of Hijikata getting humiliated.]

this guy's my supervisor from back home. you can imagine the shit i have to deal with

[zunge]

anytime

i can only imagine the property damage he gets up to. here he could be a literal bull in a china shop

[firstsaderesponder]

yeah, there would always be newspaper stories back home about the amount of property damage he does around the city. it's terrible

[Never mind that Sougo is the one who leaves destruction in his wake! But Noiz doesn't know that.]

[zunge]

tsk tsk. why do they keep him on the payroll despite that?

[firstsaderesponder]

i dunno. our boss is too nice. tho idk what he sees in this guy

[zunge]

the world may never know

[firstsaderesponder]

yeah he's weak and useless too. smh. some guys have all the luck

[mayoninofukucho]

[Since "supersadistmaster" hijacked his thread with the OP he'll hijack this one in true online comment section anarchy fashion.]

Look here, you probably won't believe me, but this guy is full of shit!! I'm his supervisor for a reason!

[zunge]

not doing a good job of keeping him in line, are you? for shame

Text | UN: mayorinfan35

[mayoninofukucho]

[Hijikata isn't online much, let alone on PrismaTube. But this video somehow made it into his social media trends, and the preview screen alone is enough to raise his blood pressure to an unhealthy point. He did not need a reminder of this!! He doesn't have a PrismaTube account, so he can't downvote it, but he can leave a comment on Noiz' post, so he does.]

This is absolutely not funny, delete this immediately!!

[Sadly he doesn't have a lawyer.]

[zunge]

a ton of viewers disagree

[mayoninofukucho]

[How can he argue against that? Those numbers speak for themselves. His pissiness can't outweigh the clout and he knows it.]

I hope you get shat on next.

[zunge]

why, are you into that sort of thing? is that the real reason you're pissy?

[mayoninofukucho]

What the hell, don't lump me in with those kinds of perverts! You're the one who recorded it!

[zunge]

I was more interested in your reaction than what caused it.

text, un:supersadistmaster coming in

[firstsaderesponder]

yeah he's into poop stuff it's really gross

[zunge]

Oh really....

[firstsaderesponder]

he poops in his mayo bottles and everything

[zunge]

gross.

[That makes him suspect this is veering away from whatever the reality is, if it hasn't already. But he also doesn't care enough to call bullshit.]

[badluckblues]

gotta say, that bird's got marksmanship

[zunge]

It does. This was only one of the many victims it nailed.

[dissimilates]

[ here's kogami -- he remembers doing this and why. also his angry withdrawal bird instincts. ]

So, abilities are transferable.

[zunge]

[Why hello there, partner-in-crime that he's not even aware yet was his partner-in-crime at the time!]

What do you mean?