text; un: xiaoxingchen

[mingyues]

[ xiao xingchen is not someone who feels the urge to ask questions often. not of others, and even less so of strangers. for this, however, he'll make an exception, even if the words are hard to parse. ]

I have been thinking
The people that we are in this place, the people we become —
Is there a chance in this world for those who are destined to commit evil?
Or is it futile to expect that anything will change when we return to our worlds?

And if it is futile then... does anything we do here matter?

Comments

PRIVATE FOREVER

[mingyues]

I am not angry at Xue Yang either. Can you really blame someone who knows no better until it is too late?

Even knowing the sorrow he is to bring upon me, I would still save him. I would not doubt it. My only desire is that Zichen would not suffer, that Xue Yang would not suffer, that A-Qing would not suffer
How can I

There is too much and not enough of me.

FOREVER AND EVER

[ze_uwu_jun]

Only if they do know better but ignore that knowledge.

Or if they continue the same way, after knowing.

Xiao Xingchen Daozhang, remember that the only ones who can be saved are those who want to be saved. But if he does want to, I have no doubt that there are few who would have a chance to succeed in your stead.

Only beware deception about that wish. And...

Give yourself time to heal, first. This may be the hardest of all. It is just necessary to remember how to breathe. Then you can save others. Until then

Well, for me, until then I was the one who needed to be saved, first.

[mingyues]

And who saved you, Zewu-jun?

I cannot see anyone who could save me. Who should save me. I do not feel deserving of it. I wish my Zichen were here so that I could ask for forgiveness, to make amends to him. To do anything.

And yet... I know how selfish this is.

[ze_uwu_jun]

Several people. The one who was hurt by what I wield, by the choice of another - he was the first who refused to let me sink in my own guilt. And as part of my guilt was that I had thought my judgment sounder than his, I could not afford to make the same mistake again. His... certainty was the first reason I found to stop fighting those who were trying to save me. Even so, that was months after I learned the truth and took action according to that truth.

There are people who want to save you, and should, Daozhang, even without your Song Daozhang, though I do hope he does return to you. He spent years looking for you - is it selfish when your wish and his are the same?

Daozhang

While he was here, do you think he wanted atonement from you different from your staying alive, and safe, and as much as possible happy?

[mingyues]

I do not know.
Right now, I am not sure of anything I am supposed to know or have known. Everything is.
I just feel safe where I am right now.
In the quiet, in the darkness and safety of this place.

[ who knew that living with a ghost king could be so...peaceful? maybe he was better off with the dead as companions than the living. ]