video; un: ningen

[ningen]

[A red-clad man appears in the video, clearing his throat. He looks... well, he's smiling? It's a really kind of trumped-up fake smile, but it's there.]

Greetings, fellow Moonblessed! Dazai here. It's been brought to my attention that I don't have any friends! While I don't think this is a problem, because I am a self-sufficient man who has no time for things like entertaining others or not being destroyed by my own self doubt, I'm sure other people would be very sad if I remained absolutely, positively bored out of my mind because I have no one to talk to or drink with.

[Ahem.]

Not that that bothers me, like I said! It's fine! But if anyone were to, say, be interested in literature, or fashion, or fine decor... Or stiff drinks... If you're a writer or an aspiring one... If you're really in the mood to let an upstanding and not-at-all-lonely person sleep on your couch... Well, I'm definitely a match! Why, if you're a writer, we could start a salon of sorts... think about that!

I must go back to very important writing, because I'm an author, and that's what we do, you know, we don't just wait around for inspiration while we're wallowing. But I'll check back here now and then.

Ah, I'm also accepting fans, too. You can find some of my work linked below! Thank you. This has been Dazai Osamu.

[He bows. And end. And sure enough, there's some literature linked! It's short stories he hammered out, and they're a bit self-indulgent and autobiographical and maybe a little depressing, but they're expertly written, at least.

But for the love of god help this man.]

Comments

un: tigerpoet

[tigerpoet]

[Ah, yes, this is what a perfectly fine person looks like.]

hes Fine

[ningen]

That crab is sort of fashionable. Is he looking for friends?

[tigerpoet]

Maybe it is.

You can always crash on my couch, you know.

video; un: ichiban

[epimedium]

[ Sure, Dazai says a bunch of other important(?) stuff, but I mean you can't just go on the network and declare you're Dazai Osamu, right? Right? Especially because he's pretty sure that's not what Famous Japanese Author Dazai looked like, and he's taken japanese literature an embarrassing number of times at this point. ]

Wait, like, actual Dazai?

[ningen]

[How to explain.........

Maybe he can just... like... not?]

Yes... as close as it gets.

[epimedium]

[ Honestly, that's fair. ]

Okay, well that raises more questions than it answers.

[ And to be fair, he's not really sure he cares enough to know the full explanation. What fun twist could there be to this? Is Dazai trapped in an virtual world where instead of musicians people are ikemen otome of dead authors, we just don't know. Life is weird sometimes. ]

So you need friends, as-close-as-it-gets-Dazai-san? [ See! He remembered what the point of the post was. ] I'm not sure about "friends," but I could get you a stiff drink.

video | un: druidic

[arrowroot]

You seem aaaaaawfully insistent that you're "fine".

[It would be amusing if not already worrisome.]

But I would be remiss if I didn't offer friendship when it's asked for.

video

[ningen]

[Don't worry!

Wait. It's Dazai. Worry.]

You're not feeling reassured? That's a terrible way to start a friendship, isn't it... Maybe I'll try again.

[AHEM.]

I am (basically) Dazai Osamu, a famous writer from my homeland. Or, well. Part of him. Mostly. I enjoy tall drinks, writing, long haired women, the color red, and not having existential crises.

...Better?

[At least he's smiling now.]

[arrowroot]

[Oh.

Well.

At least he's trying again?

In fact she finds his second attempt very amusing, chin resting on her hand as she lets out a well humored laugh.]

Well aren't you smooth. Nice to meet you, Dacai.

video; un: professeur

[sycamour]

[Sycamore has spent most of the day relaxing inside his apartment (i.e. lying on the couch), scrolling through the network and trying to get himself more acquianted with life in Lunatia. He's watched this video from start to finish; there is something absolutely charming about this young man's demeanour (not-so-subtle cry for help that it is), that he can't help responding.

... once he's read every single story Dazai linked because why not?? They're excellent!]

Hello there! I very much enjoyed your writing! You're quite talented.

[He's managing to keep the Pokemon off the video feed for now, but....give them time.]

video;

[ningen]

[Please tell him he's charming. He's begging you. Not that complimenting his writing is a bad start. It's the best start. By gods, you've done this right!

Dazai... smirks. But it's kind of a jovial sort of superior, like he knows something no one else knows, and he'll hold it over them.]

You did? It's unpolished, but that's what happens on short notice. Thanks! There'll be more where that came from, once I get settled in.

[sycamour]

[Sycamore has always been rather generous with his compliments, so! He'll happily keep them coming.]

Parfait! For unpolished, it was excellent!

[Is he very easy to please? Maybe! That doesn't mean it wasn't excellent!!

He also has no intention of getting off the couch any time, so. What a fun video angle....]

May I assume you are also new here?

Video | un: super_deduction

[sweetsleuth]

[His favorite thing about this is how it unintentionally trashes the reputation of their world's Dazai.]

Well, you don't have to worry about not having friends, because we can be friends! Even if I turned out to be kind of a home wrecker.

But that's probably a novel reversal for you, huh?

[Since he is making the assumption that this Dazai is as much of a schmooze to the ladies as theirs.]

Video

[ningen]

[Isn't it delightful?

He frowns for a flash, then laughs. It's kind of... sarcastic.]

We can be friends...? I keep invading your privacy! Are you quite sure you don't absolutely loathe me? I'd be fine with it, either way. Don't let me make decisions for you.

[HEY. HE'S NOT. THAT BAD.

(YET.)]

[sweetsleuth]

Hmm, I wouldn't say you've invaded my privacy even once?

[What are boundaries when you're a Ranpo tbh. Case in point--]

But I already made my decision, so that makes us friends now! Besides-- you haven't threatened to kill me yet, so that already puts you a few steps ahead of some of the other people I've befriended over the years.

[He likes using this example too much.]

video; un: goinghome

[anemoneae]

You're Dazai-sensei?

[ Ah... he's definitely a fan. He's so excited. I mean, so what if he doesn't look like the Dazai in the pictures, Shogo himself doesn't look like his real-world self either. ]

I'm, uh, kind of more the kind of guy who reads manga than literature but I really liked your books. I wouldn't turn down a chance to get a drink with such a great author.

video

[ningen]

I am, absolutely, more or less! What's... left of him. Me. The unique and inimitable person named Dazai Osamu.

[A FAN. Dazai lights up. He's feeling a thrill, a high, an absolute turnaround from his confusing day.]

...That's good to know! I'm a benevolent kind of person, you know, since I can be and all. I'm happy to sit down with anyone familiar with my work.

[Maybe you can tell him about... the ones he doesn't remember...

Mmm. It's Complicated.]

Do they have manga here, actually?

[anemoneae]

[ That explanation is pretty so-so but he's too much of a fan to worry about the details. ]

Would you, really? That would be really cool.

[ He definitely could... Dazai is exactly his kind of depressing author. ]

Uh, that's a good question. I guess I haven't seen any... but they have to have manga, right?

[ They have to, right...? ]

un: undyingsoul

[necroyalty]

I'm afraid it's only been fairly recently that I've gotten back into any sort of reading for pleasure, but I must say.

You're rather talented.

[ningen]

That's very kind and observant of you! I've been prompted slightly by a colleague to note that this is unedited work, so it might not be my best.

I wish everyone said reading my works was a pleasure.

[necroyalty]

Let's be honest, no one gets things right on the first try.

I'm looking forward to the final results.

video; un: ilikebigboats

[boobytraps]

Are all your stories quite so ... sad?

( A beat. )

Not that it's a bad thing, mind you. I just think you could use a bit more variety!

video;

[ningen]

Sad... Sad.... it's kind of relative. I write what I know, sometimes, and I had a weird day. So this is what came to mind.

[A pause, thoughtfully tapping his chin.]

I'd say I had a range, though, previously. It's not like it's all sad. Just mostly... Mm. Yeah, mostly.

[An honest, earnest look right at her.]

What would you want to read?

[theartofdying]

Well, what kind of me would I be if I turned down such an offer from myself? After all, I'm an excellent drinking companion, ask anyone.

[Here is Dazai, having WAY too much fun with this. Glad to see you back, other Dazai!]

HERE IT GOES

[ningen]

You'd be a horrible you if you weren't honest with yourself about how amazing you are--wait. No. Drinks first.

[SIGH. Everything from before is kinda... fuzzy. Except the really embarrassing things.]

Ah, should I say something like, "I'm home!"