text | un: smokingkills

[justttkidding]

What is the worst date you've ever been on?

I'll start: spent a whole night dancing and getting along with a redhead a few years ago. Thought she felt the same, but the night ended with her trying to drown me off a pier.

[ Um. ]


On second thought, perhaps that had been an assassination attempt from start to finish.

Comments

text, un: withfries

[protecttheweak]

Or she decided to kill you after dealing with you for the whole date.

[justttkidding]

That's hurtful. I was a complete gentleman, you know.

[protecttheweak]

I'm sure you were. That doesn't change anything however.

[justttkidding]

I suppose it doesn't.

So then, this begs the question: would you try to kill me at the end of a date, Misaki?

[protecttheweak]

[She comes very close to telling it would depend on what's for dinner. Instead, she takes a left turn.]

Only one way to find out.

[justttkidding]

[ Oh. ]

And so there is. You've a fondness for greasy food, as I recall?

[protecttheweak]

That's right.

[justttkidding]

There's a place I've been meaning to check– I believe their claim to fame is some variation on a truffle fry.

When are you free?

[protecttheweak]

How about the 20th? There's an open invitation to a party that night. If you survive the meal we can go after.

[justttkidding]

"Survive the meal", how ominous.

I can't say no to dinner and dancing. Send me the details, I'll be glad to accompany.

[protecttheweak]

You know what I mean.

[Attached will be all the details.]

text | un: druidic

[arrowroot]

I'm fairly certain that was an assassination attempt.

[justttkidding]

The more I look back on it, the more I believe it was. Astonishing how hindsight is 20/20.

[arrowroot]

I suppose that's why they call it hindsight and not frontsight.\

[Bad joke.]

Well, for whatever it may be worth it's good to know you didn't actually get killed.

Though that makes me question the skills of your supposed assassin.

text - un: tsukuyo

[tsukky]

[ Tsukuyo doesn't usually respond to these types of messages but this person's username... ]

Maybe she secretly worked for Big Tobacco.

[ Who wants to see that username pop up on the network when you're enjoying a nice, relaxing and not at all toxic smoke? So inconsiderate. ]

[justttkidding]

A hit by Big Tobacco? Somehow, flattering.

text | un: blekksprut

[fuckinghysterical]

i guess on the bright side, if it was an assassination attempt, at least she went through an entire date with you before the assassination part. most people would probably just try to kill you from the start.

[justttkidding]

She certainly had class. If only that murder attempt hadn't ruined things between us. Maybe we could've had a real connection.

[fuckinghysterical]

how well did you two know each other before then? maybe you did have a good connection, but she was put in a situation where she had no choice.

[P R O J E C T I N G]

or maybe she just needed the money for taking you out, it's hard to say.

[justttkidding]

Oh, hardly at all; we met at a coffee shop two days prior.

In either case, I could hardly fault her. Assassination is a lucrative business.

[fuckinghysterical]

oh. then sorry to say that your guess was probably right. :(

i suppose so, depending on how valuable of a target you were. but i guess if she pulled out all the stops to get you on a date, then it must have been worth it.

[justttkidding]

Alas, sometimes being right leaves one feeling very poorly indeed.

Not to toot my own horn, but apparently I was quite valuable. I could understand the attempt.

[fuckinghysterical]

i guess it must feel at least a little good to know that people would even fake a date to get a chance to get their blood money off of you.

if your price got high enough, i'm sure there's probably some people out there that would actually date you. and probably not even try to kill you after! the thrill of it has to be appealing, at least.

[boobytraps]

Sounds like a fun night! At least she was creative.

[justttkidding]

If I'm to be honest, it was one of the better dates I'd been on. Perhaps I should've taken that as a sign that things were to go so awry.

[boobytraps]

You didn't die, so it can't have been that bad.

un: f, voice 4ever

[doggish]

It's the perhaps that's worrying, you know. Are you that awful a potential date?

[He's very dry, as a person.]

[justttkidding]

Care to find out? I promise I won't hold it against you, should you feel the urge to murder me. What's life without a little excitement?

[doggish]

You're going to have to do better than that if you wish to impress me into a date.

[But with that said:]

If you wish to regale me with further tales of attempted murder, however, I typically drink in the evening.

[We'll say he offers the name of a particularly low-level tavern. It's fine to drink alone, but the past nine years have taught him that drinking with someone is fairly decent too. Besides: anyone used to murder might be worth befriending. Like, he is too!]

text; un:tangtang

[menaces]

wow it went so bad she didn't even manage to finish you off, huh?
hate it when that happens

[justttkidding]

It was certainly an unfortunate night for her. Then again, my guess is she forgot to take my height into account alongside the flow of that current tide.

I do wonder if they ever found her.

[menaces]

rookie mistake
did you have good enough a time to go on a second date if she turned back up?