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[angelshot]

WHOSE SHITTY-ASS PET LIZARD IS THIS?!

[ Well jeez, Panty. Nice to see you too.
There's no fanfare in this particular Anarchy-brand PSA, just shrill indignation and a lovely view of the disorganized pink chaos that is Panty's room. Which is fine and all... except for the very small, very feisty dragon curled up on her mattress and expensive af sheets, coiled up like a cobra and hissing in obvious displeasure at having someone invade its nice new nest.
Where did it come from? No idea. Don't care. But she clearly wants it gone. ]

How the hell am I supposed to tap ass if this thing is gonna bite a dude's dick off, huh? Is this a prank? Who DOES that?! What is wrong with you people?

You know what, fuck it. Peel your stupid iguana off the pavement for all I care.

[ And by 'fuck it' she means she'll solve this whole issue in a very practical fashion.
As in lunging forwards, grabbing the very unhappy dragon by the scruff (judging from the puffs of smoke and a few sparks, it's still just a youngster), and straight up yeets the unfortunate beastie straight out the open window. Problem solved, right?
HA HA... well. No.
Unfortunately for Panty, dragons can fly. There's a brief blur of scales sailing right back in like an oversized boomerang, a meaty 'SMACK' of something colliding squarely with her face, and the feed promptly cuts off.

She might have to sleep on the couch for a while. The new tenant isn't going anywhere. ]

Comments

[Video]

[denudate]

[ Holy shit this is glorious ]

Congratulations, I think that's one of the stupidest things I've ever seen anyone do!

[ Yes, he's sure she wanted his input. ]

[angelshot]

Free entertainment. You're fucking welcome.

[ HA HA WOW does she sound salty or what. Panty's shifted elsewhere judging from the background when her end of the video feed resumes. ]

I'd love to see how you handle this shit if one shows up on your bed tomorrow.

[denudate]

[ Her salt feeds him. ]

I'll just 'tap ass' elsewhere. Like the couch, or the coffee table, or maybe the kitchen counters!

[angelshot]

Like you've even graduated past jacking off in bed. [ If she rolls her eyes any harder, they'll pop right out of her head. ] But sure, whatever chaps your ass.

[denudate]

[ Who's the one who started talking about tapping ass again. ]

Someone is projecting.

[angelshot]

[ HA HA oh pumpkin. Bless his heart. If only he knew who he was talking to.
Panty doesn't even say anything outright either way, she's too busy laughing her tits off like he's just given her the funniest punchline she's ever heard. ]

Shit, yeah! That's me - totally a virgin.








[ Side eyes the 1000 notches on her proverbial belt tbh... ]

[denudate]

[ Yeah, if only he knew. It's not that he actually thinks she's a virgin, really, but he also can't help but wonder who would even choose to sleep with someone so ... annoying.

Then again, he's gay, so it's not like her looks are doing anything for him either. ]

So did the baby dragon win? Is that why you're so angry?

[angelshot]

[ She's an... acquired taste. To put it mildly. Either way Panty's still snickering to herself but allows the abrupt subject change without further comment. ]

It's not like I can get rid of it just like that. Keeps showing up the moment I leave the room.

[denudate]

So it won.

[ If mostly through persistence. ]

[angelshot]

Not yet, it hasn't. Next time I'll tie it to a streetlamp or something and see if it still comes back.

[ Spoilers: it will. ]

[denudate]

That seems cruel. It's just a baby.

[angelshot]

So? Do I look like the babysitting type to you? Fuck out of here with that guilt trip shit.

[denudate]

[ He does what he wants. ]

Haven't seen the mother around?

[angelshot]

Nope. [ Panty puts a little extra emphasis on the 'p', like popping bubblegum. ] Probably threw her brat out of the nest early for being a little asshole.

[denudate]

Hmm.

Well, good luck with that.