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[angelshot]

WHOSE SHITTY-ASS PET LIZARD IS THIS?!

[ Well jeez, Panty. Nice to see you too.
There's no fanfare in this particular Anarchy-brand PSA, just shrill indignation and a lovely view of the disorganized pink chaos that is Panty's room. Which is fine and all... except for the very small, very feisty dragon curled up on her mattress and expensive af sheets, coiled up like a cobra and hissing in obvious displeasure at having someone invade its nice new nest.
Where did it come from? No idea. Don't care. But she clearly wants it gone. ]

How the hell am I supposed to tap ass if this thing is gonna bite a dude's dick off, huh? Is this a prank? Who DOES that?! What is wrong with you people?

You know what, fuck it. Peel your stupid iguana off the pavement for all I care.

[ And by 'fuck it' she means she'll solve this whole issue in a very practical fashion.
As in lunging forwards, grabbing the very unhappy dragon by the scruff (judging from the puffs of smoke and a few sparks, it's still just a youngster), and straight up yeets the unfortunate beastie straight out the open window. Problem solved, right?
HA HA... well. No.
Unfortunately for Panty, dragons can fly. There's a brief blur of scales sailing right back in like an oversized boomerang, a meaty 'SMACK' of something colliding squarely with her face, and the feed promptly cuts off.

She might have to sleep on the couch for a while. The new tenant isn't going anywhere. ]

Comments

Video | Un: Star-Lord

[spacedisaster]

That's the most entertaining thing I've seen all week.

[ Sorry about the schadenfreude, lady, but that was hilarious. ]

Are you alive?

Video

[angelshot]

[ It takes a second or two for the video to snap back on, but when it does, Panty's got a lovely red mark on her face and some suspicious scratches to match. She doesn't look terribly happy about having to beat a hasty retreat. ]

Maybe I'll figure out where you live and then you can deal with this flying shitbag.

[ She's very rude. Gomen. ]

[spacedisaster]

Thanks but I already got plenty of big lizard problems of my own, trust me. You might want to put some antiseptic on those scratches.

I'm afraid you won't be able to make it leave until it lays eggs and then they hatch. There's dragons all over the city behaving like this.

[ Eeeeh, he's lived with Rocket for years, this is almost familiar. ]

voice, UN: cooledition

[force_a_change]

[A brief laugh from her, before she's a bit more composed.]

That's unfortunate for you, Miss.

[angelshot]

"Unfortunate" my ass! Some shitpickle planted that little bastard in there on purpose. I just know it.

[force_a_change]

[Such language!]

I don't know, I've heard they're just sort of showing up where ever they want?

1/2

[liveandforgive]

[ Meanwhile, all the way from the Kingdom of Lystellus, Cloud is at his lodging on a brief getaway when he decides to peruse the network. Idle things. Like expecting to see how everyone else is handling their new connection with their draconic neighbours. What he wasn't expecting to see or hear was his ears getting blared out when a familiar username catches his eye. It's been a couple of months, but...

He flinches as his device's speaker gets stress tested by her shrill pissing and moaning. If Weiss heard that too, he wouldn't blame her. But... Sheesh. Staring, eyes wide and mouth agape, the little visitor to their apartment is second place to the fact that...well.

Holy shit she's back. ]

2/2 voice; un: cloudywolf

[liveandforgive]

[ We'll return to our scheduled programming of sass and deadpan banter after these messages. First...he's actually gotta make sure. So with the line open, he calls. And if she answers at any point, ]

Panty?

[angelshot]

What?!

[ Yep, that's Panty all right. Sounding much more distracted than usual and a bit out of breath, but she's got her device pinned between her shoulder and ear while she makes a second attempt at dragon wrangling. ]

OW! You little fuckstick! Keep that spark crap to yourself or else--

[ It's... not going that well. ]

text; un: ruffestrabbit

[zunge]

aww it likes your place

guess you got a new roommate for now

Text - UN: pumpaction

[angelshot]

well too damn bad! i kind of live here already!

gross... like i need some freaky gecko roommate with anger issues that doesn't even pay rent

[zunge]

you say that like you yourself pay rent. most sensible Moonblessed would stay in the free starter flats.

video | un: demonchef

[satanslash]

Oh... you're back. That explains the noise.

[Erm.

Totally not talking shit the second you get back, Panty. Promise.

Also he might look a little different than she remembers, if she recalls arguing with him at all.]

Y'tried feedin' it? That made mine happy. 'course she's just perched outside my restaurant, not my bedroom...

[angelshot]

[ Squinting super hard at his face on screen...
...
...
......NOPE not ringing any bells. Then again, she kind of did just talk shit about demons and imply how mega lame being even a half demon is, so arguably it's a good thing she doesn't recognize him right away. ]

Screw that. I want it to leave, not get room service! This isn't a five star hotel, dammit!

[satanslash]

[Probably.

As far as he knows he's still half, just with more demonic traits than he started with.

Also he never did tell her who is real dad is, did he? Not that he likes talking about it anyway.

He shrugs and shakes his head.]

You're not wrong, but they have eggs. They're gonna be protective and if you keep pissin' it off you'll wind up with a burned down apartment instead of a cramped one.

video; un:lockhart

[amemoryorus]

[Behold the face of a concerned looking Tifa.]

Panty? Are you alright?

Audio - UN: pumpaction

[angelshot]

Just peachy.

[ Well at least she sounds fine, if a bit cranky. ]

Fucker singed my hair a bit, that's all.

[amemoryorus]

Yeah, they don't take well from being removed from where they've decided to take shelter.

[Which Panty has just learned the hard way.]

Did you just get back?

video

[swordhardy]

[ LAUGHS..... because he is a gentleman. ]

He's your new best friend. Congrats.

Audio - UN: pumpaction

[angelshot]

[ Wowwwwwww, laughing at her misfortune is a Dick Move™, dude! "Gentleman" her left asscheek. >:T ]

I don't do friendship bracelets and shit. No thanks.

[swordhardy]

[ What kind of daemon would he be if he didn't laugh at slapstick?? C'mon babe. 😘 ]

Maybe it just wants a kiss.

video; un: lover boy

[swaylay]

[ He feels sympathy for this loud, abrasive mortal. Not because of her failure to yeet the little demon from her window; she kinda deserved that (and he is amused and unable to hide the lingering smile when this video goes through), but because he too has a dragon nesting in his bed.

Oh, and... ]

Do you only have sex in bed? I totally wouldn't have guessed from how loud you are.

[ WHY DOES HE SOUND DISAPPOINTED JESUS. ]

I could always give you a few fun alternatives!

[angelshot]

[ When the video turns on again, Panty's still got a suspiciously wing-shaped blotch of pink on her face and more than a little soot smudging up her bangs. What's a girl gotta do to have an uninterrupted nap on this stupid orgy planet... ]

Only in bed? Excuse you, does it look like I was born yesterday? Hell no.

[ Oh boy, here we go. Panty starts ticking off the other "options" on her fingers with zero shame. ]

I mean, there's a perfectly good couch. And coffee table. And kitchen table. And counters. And the shower. And the wall, I guess, if someone gets super blue balls my-dick-is-going-to-explode impatient or whatever--

[Video]

[denudate]

[ Holy shit this is glorious ]

Congratulations, I think that's one of the stupidest things I've ever seen anyone do!

[ Yes, he's sure she wanted his input. ]

[angelshot]

Free entertainment. You're fucking welcome.

[ HA HA WOW does she sound salty or what. Panty's shifted elsewhere judging from the background when her end of the video feed resumes. ]

I'd love to see how you handle this shit if one shows up on your bed tomorrow.