ᴘᴀɴᴛʏ ᴀɴᴀʀᴄʜʏ (
angelshot) wrote in
prismatica2020-06-24 03:31 pm
Home Sweet Home ► VIDEO ► UN:pumpaction
WHOSE SHITTY-ASS PET LIZARD IS THIS?!
[ Well jeez, Panty. Nice to see you too.
There's no fanfare in this particular Anarchy-brand PSA, just shrill indignation and a lovely view of the disorganized pink chaos that is Panty's room. Which is fine and all... except for the very small, very feisty dragon curled up on her mattress and expensive af sheets, coiled up like a cobra and hissing in obvious displeasure at having someone invade its nice new nest.
Where did it come from? No idea. Don't care. But she clearly wants it gone. ]
How the hell am I supposed to tap ass if this thing is gonna bite a dude's dick off, huh? Is this a prank? Who DOES that?! What is wrong with you people?
You know what, fuck it. Peel your stupid iguana off the pavement for all I care.
[ And by 'fuck it' she means she'll solve this whole issue in a very practical fashion.
As in lunging forwards, grabbing the very unhappy dragon by the scruff (judging from the puffs of smoke and a few sparks, it's still just a youngster), and straight up yeets the unfortunate beastie straight out the open window. Problem solved, right?
HA HA... well. No.
Unfortunately for Panty, dragons can fly. There's a brief blur of scales sailing right back in like an oversized boomerang, a meaty 'SMACK' of something colliding squarely with her face, and the feed promptly cuts off.
She might have to sleep on the couch for a while. The new tenant isn't going anywhere. ]
[ Well jeez, Panty. Nice to see you too.
There's no fanfare in this particular Anarchy-brand PSA, just shrill indignation and a lovely view of the disorganized pink chaos that is Panty's room. Which is fine and all... except for the very small, very feisty dragon curled up on her mattress and expensive af sheets, coiled up like a cobra and hissing in obvious displeasure at having someone invade its nice new nest.
Where did it come from? No idea. Don't care. But she clearly wants it gone. ]
How the hell am I supposed to tap ass if this thing is gonna bite a dude's dick off, huh? Is this a prank? Who DOES that?! What is wrong with you people?
You know what, fuck it. Peel your stupid iguana off the pavement for all I care.
[ And by 'fuck it' she means she'll solve this whole issue in a very practical fashion.
As in lunging forwards, grabbing the very unhappy dragon by the scruff (judging from the puffs of smoke and a few sparks, it's still just a youngster), and straight up yeets the unfortunate beastie straight out the open window. Problem solved, right?
HA HA... well. No.
Unfortunately for Panty, dragons can fly. There's a brief blur of scales sailing right back in like an oversized boomerang, a meaty 'SMACK' of something colliding squarely with her face, and the feed promptly cuts off.
She might have to sleep on the couch for a while. The new tenant isn't going anywhere. ]

no subject
[ If there isn't at least one Uranus joke in his routine she'll be pissed af jussayin.
YO. EXCUSE YOU it's not her fault people here don't stick to clothes themed names! Panty, Stocking, Garterbelt, Briefs, Scanty, Kneesocks, Corset... those are proper names.
Anyway. She's used to the incredulous reactions by now, but she's gotta hand it to him for switching gears so smoothly without tripping over himself. Tenouttaten. Gold star. ] The kind that's memorable, duh. I'm a celebrity back home.
[
for all the wrong reasons but w/e still countsAs for the nickname he gives her, Panty sits bolt upright in clear offense. ]
"Pan"? What the fuck dude. That's so lame.
[ SUCK IT UP QUILL. There's furry creeps banging in alleys and he's gonna draw the line at a piece of clothing? B R U H. ]
no subject
[ Uranus jokes are a must, that and puns about stars like Space was cool before it mattered. It would be terrible.
Clothes themed names are questionable by default .Is there a person called Thong? Please say yes. But back to the issue at hand, Peter does try on occasion. He's also used to weird things and weird people happening in his life on the regular. ]
Are you, now? [ That raised eyebrow speaks of skepticism. Do share, Panty, he wants to know why. ]
Keep at it and I'll use Goldilocks. Does that sound better? What about Ragamuffin instead? Sweetums? BunBuns Ooooh...Thinkerbell? [ He's going to keep saying more and more cutesy nickname unless she stops him.
A man's gotta have some limits, yo! Let the furries have fun, they're saving the planet. ]
no subject
[ He might want to find a different singer, honestly. All of Panty & Stocking's concerts inevitably end up with the mosh pit getting out of hand and desperately needing police intervention. As is tradition.
If she ever gets a car again she's totally calling it Thong]Uh, yeah? Movie star, rockstar, flawless ghost killer? Duh.
[ Like she wasn't busy cruising for the D instead of murdering ghosts like she should've been... Panty pls. ]
How about just using my name, jackass?
no subject
[ Peter likes music so if anybody is going to do any singing it will be him. Not like he has an interest in starting a video channel for real. Or any real talent singing.
Those concerts sound a lot of fun, though. She should still give one.
Better than naming her first son that, I suppose.]Yeah...I've never heard of you so I'm going to take a guess and say we're from different universes. Or timelines. Or planets. Or whatever. There's too many options. How do you kill a ghost? They're already dead. Do you perform exorcisms?
[ Life is all about priorities, uh? ]
Oh so it's Jackass your name now? Okay, that works.
[ This is like a couple of eight years old arguing, congratulation for Unlocking the Sibling Route, Panty. ]
no subject
[ """""Talent"""""". Tbh Panty's kind of overselling herself as a whole package deal. ]
Exorcisms? What the fuck is this, the Amityville Horror? Uh, angel. Duh. You have those wherever you come from, right?
[ Which doesn't explicitly answer his 'how do you kill a ghost when it's already dead' question, but as far as she's concerned a lot of questions can just be answered with 'cuz angel bullshit lol'.
If he asks really nicely, she might even demonstrate! Not that anyone should have to suffer getting flashed with her hideous lacy secrets but w/e w/e. ]
Sure, if you want to catch a couple knuckles in the teeth. Better have a stellar dental plan.
[ GROSS. She already has one bitchy sister, the last thing she needs is some bratty nerd brother. >:T ]
no subject
[ As if. Peter doesn't have any special talent that isn't getting himself into trouble regularly unless you count his dancing skills. They helped save the universe one, so he's proud of that at least. ]
I've heard of the concept, yes, they're mentioned everywhere in the bibble. [ He gives her a skeptical look because 'angel' is the last thing he would have associated with someone like Panty. ] You don't look like a flaming wheel with hundred of eyes, nor an angelical figure with white wings. I'm pretty sure Angels are supposed to swear less.
[ Oh he will keep asking, against common sense and better judgment because things have just gotten weirder. Also interesting. ]
Do like...flash your angel's magic powers at ghosts and they go POOF! And to the afterlife they return?
Heh. Smartass.
[ Sorry, you can't choose these things they just happen. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ]
no subject
[ That ego tho... the real kicker is she isn't lying. Pre-Majestas shenanigans had her account at obscene amounts of Chroma just from her usual antics.
Panty scrunches her nose a little at his skepticism. ]
Excuse me, who's the real-ass angel here? Sure as shit isn't you. [ RUDE AF FAM. Telling her how she should look and behave? Nah bro. That ain't gonna fly. ] And you're not negging me into showing off my wings, so forget it.
[ And she's not gonna go flashing her panties/gun at him either, because now it's just the principle of the thing. So there. ]
I shoot 'em in the head, they blow up, problem solved. Simple as that.
no subject
[ He's got it as bad as her when it comes to ego, Peter can't go around throwing any stones. Glass houses and all that. Besides, he doesn't doubt that she can get laid, it's just fun to mess with her. Panty's got character and she's pretty, that's more than enough for a place like Lunatia. ]
For all I know, you could be making this up. I'm half god myself on account of my biological father being a Celestial and yet most of the time no one believes me.
[ Just like her, Peter isn't lying. What's wrong with the universe letting people like them represent deities and angels? ]
So you do have wings. How many? Can you fly with them or they're for a show? Come on, it's honest curiosity now. How does an Angel end blowing up ghosts' brains? Shouldn't you be telling virgin women that they're going to be moms, or tuning sinners into pillars of salt? Do you have a flaming sword? I've heard they were all the rage in biblical times.
no subject
[ C'mon, dude. Panty's vocabulary isn't exactly what one would call "well-rounded" at the best of times. Stick to small words pls & ty.
Then he starts rattling off all the questions about stuff she probably can't be arsed to bother remembering in the first place. Jeez. That's one active imagination he's got. ]
Whatever crazy moon weed you're smoking, maybe tune it back by like... a lot. Do I look like I'd give a shit about teen moms or whatever? Who even does that?
[ There's a grand total of maybe two answers she can give him honestly. The rest is just dude, what of varying degrees of incredulity. ]
no subject
[ Peter's starting to realize that. He couldn't help but be curious, is not every day that you meet a foul-mouthed angel. But fiiiiine, he will slow down. A little. ]
Alright, all right. So sensitive. But what's Heaven like? I'm assuming you saw it at some point.
no subject
[ Alas, he'll get no sympathy from Panty. She's not the best at caring about familial ties. ]
"At some point"? It's like angels come from Heaven or something. Groundbreaking. [ Panty scoffs. ] I mean, it's home I guess? What part of Heaven are we talking here, school?
no subject
[ He doesn't need sympathy, what's done is done, so it's all good. ]
You're nothing like the sort of angels we know about in my world, it was a legit question! What, Heaven has schools!?
[ That's horrible. He would have expected that in hell. ]
no subject
[ Panty, not attending class? What a shock. Take a wild guess what she was doing instead. ]
Got booted out ages ago though so that might've changed. Didn't you have to go to "celestial brat school" or something?
no subject
[ He doesn't expect Panty to give a straight answer but he has to ask because he's too curious not to.
Was she busy either killing things or sleeping with someone...? It seems like her style, not like Peter would judge her. ]
It doesn't sound like you had a lot of fun up there anyway.
And no, my psychopath of a father showed for the first time a few years ago and told me how to use my powers. It was all a test and a deception. He had thousands of children before and killed them all when they didn't give signs of having his celestial genes. He's dead now.