ᴘᴀɴᴛʏ ᴀɴᴀʀᴄʜʏ (
angelshot) wrote in
prismatica2020-06-24 03:31 pm
Home Sweet Home ► VIDEO ► UN:pumpaction
WHOSE SHITTY-ASS PET LIZARD IS THIS?!
[ Well jeez, Panty. Nice to see you too.
There's no fanfare in this particular Anarchy-brand PSA, just shrill indignation and a lovely view of the disorganized pink chaos that is Panty's room. Which is fine and all... except for the very small, very feisty dragon curled up on her mattress and expensive af sheets, coiled up like a cobra and hissing in obvious displeasure at having someone invade its nice new nest.
Where did it come from? No idea. Don't care. But she clearly wants it gone. ]
How the hell am I supposed to tap ass if this thing is gonna bite a dude's dick off, huh? Is this a prank? Who DOES that?! What is wrong with you people?
You know what, fuck it. Peel your stupid iguana off the pavement for all I care.
[ And by 'fuck it' she means she'll solve this whole issue in a very practical fashion.
As in lunging forwards, grabbing the very unhappy dragon by the scruff (judging from the puffs of smoke and a few sparks, it's still just a youngster), and straight up yeets the unfortunate beastie straight out the open window. Problem solved, right?
HA HA... well. No.
Unfortunately for Panty, dragons can fly. There's a brief blur of scales sailing right back in like an oversized boomerang, a meaty 'SMACK' of something colliding squarely with her face, and the feed promptly cuts off.
She might have to sleep on the couch for a while. The new tenant isn't going anywhere. ]
[ Well jeez, Panty. Nice to see you too.
There's no fanfare in this particular Anarchy-brand PSA, just shrill indignation and a lovely view of the disorganized pink chaos that is Panty's room. Which is fine and all... except for the very small, very feisty dragon curled up on her mattress and expensive af sheets, coiled up like a cobra and hissing in obvious displeasure at having someone invade its nice new nest.
Where did it come from? No idea. Don't care. But she clearly wants it gone. ]
How the hell am I supposed to tap ass if this thing is gonna bite a dude's dick off, huh? Is this a prank? Who DOES that?! What is wrong with you people?
You know what, fuck it. Peel your stupid iguana off the pavement for all I care.
[ And by 'fuck it' she means she'll solve this whole issue in a very practical fashion.
As in lunging forwards, grabbing the very unhappy dragon by the scruff (judging from the puffs of smoke and a few sparks, it's still just a youngster), and straight up yeets the unfortunate beastie straight out the open window. Problem solved, right?
HA HA... well. No.
Unfortunately for Panty, dragons can fly. There's a brief blur of scales sailing right back in like an oversized boomerang, a meaty 'SMACK' of something colliding squarely with her face, and the feed promptly cuts off.
She might have to sleep on the couch for a while. The new tenant isn't going anywhere. ]

no subject
Yeah. Like an hour ago.
[ There's a faint hissing noise, a sharp 'WHACK', and... dammit, she lost her grip again. Who knew getting whipped in the ass by a cranky dragon tail would hurt so much?
Apparently deciding she's had enough for the time being, Panty scootaloos out into the hallway instead, slamming the door behind her as she goes. ]
Jesus, I take a nap for a couple days and everything's gone to shit. You losers can't get anything done without me.
[ Oops. Guess who has no idea how much time has passed? ]
no subject
[ He'll just come right out and say it. At least the door slamming in his receiver tells him she's decided to take a breather from dragon wrangling. He leans back in his seat, crossing his free arm under his chest. ]
no subject
[ As usual, she's not treating her disappearance very seriously at all. To her, she had a nap (and the weirdest nightmare where the mattress ate her or something), woke up, and it's business as usual. Minus the cranky critter infestation, anyway. ]
Where did you fuck off to?
no subject
[ He pauses after that. He still doesn't know how it felt for her to suddenly vanish without a trace, but the feeling on his end never left. Just when he'd succeeded in saving someone, they were taken with the proverbial snap of a finger. But it's clear he needs to give her a tl;dr rundown. If she asks. But right now, he'll answer her first. ]
Lystellus. The project opening Lunatia up with their Kingdom just finished, so I'm taking a little vacation.
[ A beat. Two. Three beats. ]
That'll explain the new guests.
no subject
[ "Months"? Bullllllllshit. She'd totally notice if she was gone that long!
R-right?
Panty makes a face on her end, shifting her device back to her wrist so she can flip through missed messages while they talk. There's more than she thought there'd be. Most of them are just bootycalls or vibe checks, but... ]
Huh. So we get a new playground, but the pests get way bigger? That's a crappy trade-off.
no subject
[ As for these "pests"... ]
At least they're not like the dragons I know back home.
no subject
[ MAYBE SHE WILL. After scrolling to the very bottom of her inbox, anyway. The three oldest texts are from him.
Huh. Weird. ]
Dragons schmagons. We just gotta get some giant-ass flyswatters and an industrial can of RAID or something.
[ And just casually opening those messages... ]
no subject
CLOUDYWOLF: Panty you okay?
CLOUDYWOLF: Hey Panty
Well, she doesn't need to check her calendar with the "Sent 2 months ago" timestamp staring her right in the face from those messages. Panty's not really sure what to make of that. There's a long stretch of silence while she processes what the hell happened. ]
...shit.
It really was that long?
no subject
Yeah.
At first I thought you'd come back after a few days, like what happened to Weiss. But...
no subject
[ Granted, Panty was in pretty rough shape at the time, but would that have any bearing on why or how long she disappeared? Who knows.
Better question: ]
Sooooo... why's all my stuff still here? You could've just got another roommate after the first month.
no subject
And in a way, everything was alright. Life goes on. Just without someone he'd never admit he missed... This is why getting attached to interstellar friends was a bad idea. ]
I didn't feel like it.
no subject
[ S k e p t i c a l. Cloud is many things, but "lazy" isn't one of them. But hey, if he isn't going to cough up the goods, she won't push it. ]
Well, I'll crash on the couch once you're back. Might as well get used to it until mini-Godzilla fucks off on its own.
no subject
...what's a Godzilla?
no subject
[ How does one even begin to explain the Kaiju genre? "Two dudes in cheap monster suits beat each other up"? ]
You know what, it'll just be easier to show you. I'll see what I can find for a movie night.
no subject
[ His lighter tone suggests that Panty's general description actually works. Mainly because he's no stranger to beating up these 'Kaiju'. fdaljks ]
I think I get the picture. [ Then, after a couple seconds, his voice comes in just a little softer. ] Show me anyway later.
no subject
See you when you get home, nerd.
no subject
[ Cloud's about to hang up when he suddenly remembers, blinking wide-eyed. He hopes he catches her before she hangs up first. ]
Hey. Sleep in my bed. I don't want no dragon jacking it too.
no subject
First time I get invited to your room and you're not even in it? Lame.
[ Don't worry, Cloud. She'll hold down the fort just fine on her own. ]
no subject
Ain't that some shit.
[ ... on second thought. He'll tell her in person. Over a drink, probably. ]
Seeya.