un: coolguy

[soupervillain]

CALLING ALL VILLAINS, EVILDOERS, AND GENERAL BAD GUYS!!!

GOOD GUYS DO NOT READ THIS!!!

(that means you)
Okay, now that that's out of the way! I'm Giovanni Potage, captain of the Banzai Blasters. (Please hold all autograph requests until we meet in person.) Any fellow bad guys want to team up and commit some crimes sometime? My knife-bat hand's getting kinda itchy, if you know what I mean. Know any good museums to rob? Shops to lift? Parks to litter in? Say the word!!

- Giovanni Potage
Captain of the Banzai Blasters

Comments

[soupervillain]

Wait, hurting people?! That's not good guy behavior!! That's not even good bad guy behavior!!! That's just... BAD!!!

[firstsaderesponder]

i said i was a sadist. i dunno what you expected

villains generally hurt people

[soupervillain]

I thought you meant, like. In bed!!!

Yeah, I guess some villains hurt people, but that's not the kind of villain I want to be!! That's the MEAN kind!!!

[firstsaderesponder]

that too [His lifestyle = being a sadist.]

are you even a villain if you don't hurt people? like i went after ppl biking at night without a light but they're not really villains

villains are like

terrorists and stuff

[soupervillain]

TERRORISTS?! No, no no no, that is ABSOLUTELY NOT the kind of villainy I support!!! Look, I steal stuff, okay?? That's just as evil!!!

And biking without a light is illegal, right?? So they totally count as villains!! Take it from a master of low-stakes villainy!!!

[firstsaderesponder]

just as evil? nah i don't think so

just cause it's illegal doesn't mean that it's villainy

you probably don't count unless you've killed people

[soupervillain]

Well, I'm not gonna kill people!!! Because that's mean and DUMB!!!

[firstsaderesponder]

sorry guess you've failed the villain test then

call me when you've done something actually bad

or if you wanna do the mayonnaise stealing thing

[soupervillain]

Oh, I'm TOTALLY gonna do the mayonnaise stealing thing!! It'll be extremely evil and that'll show you!!!

[firstsaderesponder]

cool

you know what would really show me?

find someone who likes mayonnaise and see how he reacts once all the mayonnaise is gone

in a photo or video ok

[The only thing better than blackmail material is having someone else gather blackmail material for you!]

[soupervillain]

FINE!!! That's exactly what I'll do!! And I'll tell everyone it was MY idea!! SUCKER!!!

[firstsaderesponder]

oh no why would you do that

[Ha. Giovanni just did Sougo a huge favor. Hijikata getting pissed and directing his anger at someone else? That's two for the price of one! Good thing you can't catch sarcasm over text.]