un: coolguy

[soupervillain]

CALLING ALL VILLAINS, EVILDOERS, AND GENERAL BAD GUYS!!!

GOOD GUYS DO NOT READ THIS!!!

(that means you)
Okay, now that that's out of the way! I'm Giovanni Potage, captain of the Banzai Blasters. (Please hold all autograph requests until we meet in person.) Any fellow bad guys want to team up and commit some crimes sometime? My knife-bat hand's getting kinda itchy, if you know what I mean. Know any good museums to rob? Shops to lift? Parks to litter in? Say the word!!

- Giovanni Potage
Captain of the Banzai Blasters

Comments

[soupervillain]

Heh heh, thanks!!! I named it myself!! It has all the powers of a bat... AND a knife!!! Take a moment to be awed if you need it.

Put down that Q-tip, my friend, because there's nothing wrong with your ears!! (Also because you shouldn't put Q-tips in your ears in the first place) I did in fact say SOUP!!! That's my epithet!! I have ULTIMATE CONTROL over most things edible and liquidy!!!

1/2

[spacedisaster]

Two in one, that's very efficient. I've seen bats with nails sticking out of them before but a knife? Now that's innovation . [ Right well, it must be useful in some way if the guy uses it, right? Peter has seen stranger weapons. The next statement, though, it makes him pause and stare.]

You can control soup.

2/2

[spacedisaster]

[ ... ]

Dude, that's SO COOL!!! An epithet is like a quirk or a superpower, I take it? Does it need to be hot or it can be cold too? I mean...does Gazpacho count as soup? I think it should count. Can you manipulate Gazpacho? That would be really fun, if also very messy! And does your power work with anything liquid and edible? What about spit? It's not soup but it's a liquid and since it's in our mouth we're eating and swallowing it all the time.

[ Peter here asking the important questions, you see. At least he's not asking about other bodily fluids. ]

[soupervillain]

Wow, you catch on quick!! That's EXACTLY what an epithet is!! The powers come from the word itself, so gazpacho totally does fall under my skillset (and I make a pretty tasty one, actually, if I say so myself), but spit definitely doesn't. Also, that's gross!! But hang out with me sometime and I'll show you my MASTERY OF GAZPACHO (and other soups)!! It's super impressive!!!

[spacedisaster]

I know a couple of teens here that call their power 'quirks' and back home there are a lot of magic users and the like, so I figured you were talking about the same kind of thing. I had some for a while too but I lost them after my asshole father was killed.

[ Killed by him and his friends because Ego was insane but shhhh details. ]

And now I am getting hungry for gazpacho. What do you do with the soup then? Thro it at people really fast or...?

[soupervillain]

Oh hey, that sucks about your powers. I'd say it sucks about your dad too, but it sounds like you don't miss him too much. So what kinda powers did you have when you had them??

Hey, come on over anytime!! I'll make you a gazpacho so delicious, your taste buds will SCREAM IN AGONY!!! But, like, good agony. Agoodny. And you wouldn't think it, but soup has a surprising amount of combat applications!! But yeah, I usually throw hot soup at people. It's extremely dangerous!!!

[spacedisaster]

Yeah, they were a lot of fun while they last. As for my biological father...he tried to destroy the whole universe so he had to die. [ Peter still has a lot of mixed feelings about what happened but he knows that for a fact. It was stopping Ego or letting him consume the Galaxy. ] I could fly, manipulate matter, I had enhanced strength and resistance to pain. Ohh, I could make a giant PacMan that moved on its own too!

Ey, thanks. I'll take you up on that offer one day! [ He laughs at the Agoodny part. yep, he really likes this guy. ] It sounds like it. If you throw spicy soup at them maybe it will be more effective than normal soup?