Goro Akechi (
foolishjustice) wrote in
prismatica2019-08-21 12:30 am
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Entry tags:
- fate/: marie antoinette,
- granblue fantasy: jessica,
- hollow knight: grimm,
- hypnosis mic: gentaro yumeno,
- hypnosis mic: hifumi izanami,
- magi: titus alexius,
- metal gear: otacon,
- no more heroes: travis touchdown,
- original character: fish,
- persona 3: minako arisato,
- persona 4: chie satonaka,
- persona 4: rise kujikawa,
- persona 4: souji seta,
- persona 4: yosuke hanamura,
- persona 5: ann takamaki,
- persona 5: goro akechi,
- persona 5: ren amamiya,
- voltron: matt holt,
- voltron: pidge
Text - Anonymous
I have a question, that...you'll probably understand my reasons for posting anonymously once you finish reading.
The local culture is very open and laid back about sexual interest. It's different as hell from my own home, where men who show sexual attraction are viewed as disgusting perverts and assumed to be dangerous, while people don't even fucking think about women having an interest in sex beyond wanting to have children. Some of the posts I've seen here would get everyone involved labeled sexual deviants for the shit they talk about in the open.
My question is, how do people adapt to it? I'm here doing my damn best to keep my mind out of the gutter because I've been taught thinking about anyone you don't want to date like that is disrespectful as hell and fucking creepy, but then I turn around and see people openly asking for hookups or rating each other's asses, and instead of people calling that shit skeevy, they either go along with it or treat it like a funny joke.
I know it's not prudishness, believe-you-fucking-me, my life would be easier if I was just naturally shy or reserved or whatever. It's an extreme form of culture shock, and I wish I didn't end up feeling like a dick constantly over the kinds of mental images I get from both the way people act in public around here and some of the things the prismals hand out as fucking party favors.
The local culture is very open and laid back about sexual interest. It's different as hell from my own home, where men who show sexual attraction are viewed as disgusting perverts and assumed to be dangerous, while people don't even fucking think about women having an interest in sex beyond wanting to have children. Some of the posts I've seen here would get everyone involved labeled sexual deviants for the shit they talk about in the open.
My question is, how do people adapt to it? I'm here doing my damn best to keep my mind out of the gutter because I've been taught thinking about anyone you don't want to date like that is disrespectful as hell and fucking creepy, but then I turn around and see people openly asking for hookups or rating each other's asses, and instead of people calling that shit skeevy, they either go along with it or treat it like a funny joke.
I know it's not prudishness, believe-you-fucking-me, my life would be easier if I was just naturally shy or reserved or whatever. It's an extreme form of culture shock, and I wish I didn't end up feeling like a dick constantly over the kinds of mental images I get from both the way people act in public around here and some of the things the prismals hand out as fucking party favors.
un: 1stQadrMargaFan
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The problem is, there are people I find attractive that I don't want to date.
...Well, okay, it's not completely not the problem. I do still worry about people judging me for fucking people I haven't been in an extended relationship with.
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Is that right?
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Hell, even one of the people I'm with has no damn shame.
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If anything, doesn't it sound more like you are the one judging?
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It doesn't help that my father really is a creepy asshole, but I at least hope nobody else has experience in dealing with fear of anything that makes them similar to an asshole parent.
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Did you also agree that they deserved it? If so, do you still feel that way now?
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And the people around them were always written as being either pissed off or creeped out.
I'd...probably be pissed myself if someone else lashed out on the behalf of someone who was fine with the attention, though. At least as long as the person getting shit always backed off and apologized if they did bother someone.
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I think it makes sense to want to do whatever you can to avoid becoming the kind of person who does not care how they might upset others, especially if your father is like that.
But I wonder whether having sexual thoughts is actually that directly connected to it. That is, maybe there was a cultural focus on that particular type of disregard for others, but is sexual desire really the root cause of the problem?
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Still, you know what kind of behavior it is that you truly find abhorrent, regardless of what you were told to find abhorrent. And perhaps if you look closely at the types of harm you fear causing and how they are connected to the reactions you find yourself having, you will be able to come up with strategies for keeping yourself from going down that path.
And then, of course, if it ever turns out you didn't cause any harm at all, perhaps it would help to acknowledge that somehow! For example, keep a tally of all the times you had a thought or feeling that made you feel guilty, but did not actually end up doing anything wrong because of it... or something like that.
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It's not that the inner turmoil it all causes you is not a big deal, but
You have people you are close to, and it sounds like you all treat each other well. And despite the way it makes you feel about yourself when you inwardly respond to things the way you do, you didn't mention that you have acted on any of those impulses in a way that troubled anyone else. So rather than worrying about ways to change your feelings or let go of the lingering shame all at once, maybe you can just focus on
well
Keeping up the good work!
(And at the same time, of course, you can wait and hope the local mindset rubs off on you.)
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So, I guess you're right in that I've been managing to keep my thoughts from hurting anyone so far.
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