Text - Anonymous

[foolishjustice]

I have a question, that...you'll probably understand my reasons for posting anonymously once you finish reading.

The local culture is very open and laid back about sexual interest. It's different as hell from my own home, where men who show sexual attraction are viewed as disgusting perverts and assumed to be dangerous, while people don't even fucking think about women having an interest in sex beyond wanting to have children. Some of the posts I've seen here would get everyone involved labeled sexual deviants for the shit they talk about in the open.

My question is, how do people adapt to it? I'm here doing my damn best to keep my mind out of the gutter because I've been taught thinking about anyone you don't want to date like that is disrespectful as hell and fucking creepy, but then I turn around and see people openly asking for hookups or rating each other's asses, and instead of people calling that shit skeevy, they either go along with it or treat it like a funny joke.

I know it's not prudishness, believe-you-fucking-me, my life would be easier if I was just naturally shy or reserved or whatever. It's an extreme form of culture shock, and I wish I didn't end up feeling like a dick constantly over the kinds of mental images I get from both the way people act in public around here and some of the things the prismals hand out as fucking party favors.

Comments

Text, un: notsopreparedhitchhiker

[tookashirototheknee]

Culture shock is a bitch, especially when you go from 'oh, different kinds of humans on Earth have different views on sex' to 'this is a fucking alien species that might not even be carbon-based, and sex is just something they do on Friday nights with whoever they see'.

... ok, I exaggerate. But in all seriousness, it is hard to try to see things the way an entirely different culture sees them, especially if it's so damn foreign to what you're used to.

I don't know if I have that much advice, other than don't be so hard on yourself? Everyone's had thoughts, and people make mistakes. What matters is what you do with it later. Even at home, I had a couple major crushes on people who I really really shouldn't've, and I've gotten myself into a couple things here that might have been a little quick and a little dumb. But. It's all worked out. Oddly.

[foolishjustice]

It's the complete fucking opposite of what I'm used to. Just the concept of polyamory was a shock, even if learning about it made me feel a hell of a lot better about having three different crushes here.

Maybe part of it is that there's a lot of pressure back home to keep this shit under wraps, so the only people you see admitting to it are the assholes. It makes it easy to assume nobody else thinks like that, except the assholes you don't want to be like.

[tookashirototheknee]

Oh, yeah. I totally understand that.

And it makes sense. If you only see a behavior or thought process from the assholes, you start to believe only the assholes do it, and that fucks with your head.

We like to say we're an advanced society back home, but people are still fucking assholes about things. I'm still surprised in a way that one of my friends didn't get crap for being gay.

So... it sucks. And I'm sorry. And if you ever feel the need to just rant, even drunken rant, I'll always listen. It especially sucks when you don't feel like you have anyone to talk to.

[foolishjustice]

Being openly bisexual is something that's taken a lot of steeling myself, even with being told people here don't judge that. I never really felt ashamed of it, but I sure as hell did worry about assholes giving me shit.

I don't drink, though. I've never even understood why people would, when everyone I've seen with alcohol just gets even pissier than normal.

[tookashirototheknee]

I had the luxury, I guess, of parents and a school that cared more about what you did than who you wanted to fuck, but there's always assholes, and some people did get a lot of crap from people.

Also, because it doesn't get said enough, good for you for being able to be yourself. It's hard as shit sometimes, and having the courage to admit things that are uncomfortable or different is really brave.

Hey, then don't drink booze. Coffee, I've found, can give some good hyperactive rants. Or just water. Or just a talk. I'm the last person to pressure anyone.

[foolishjustice]

It took some reassurance, but it does feel a hell of a lot better to be able to talk about who I like without dancing around gendered language.

Coffee helps me with stress, too. I don't know if it's because I always go for good coffee and it's fucking delicious or if I need the caffeine fix at this point, but it always lifts my spirits.

[tookashirototheknee]

Good. Dancing around things is the literal worst. I know someone who had really really awful parents, and always had to dance around talking about the person they like. It was just painful.

Coffee is the drink of the gods, and the best thing ever. Never let anyone try and convince you that alien coffee is anything but awful. They do pretty good coffee here, thankfully. Also, freeze dried coffee is an insult to actual coffee.

[foolishjustice]

I sat on a crush for months back home, because I was afraid of what would happen if people found out I liked a guy. If I'd said something back then, we probably could have avoided one of my major regrets.

Freeze dried coffee sounds like something they'd serve in hell. It sounds even worse than instant.

[tookashirototheknee]

Ugh, I'm sorry. I hope you get another chance with him. Do you think he would have been receptive to it?

It's awful. Utterly awful. Space food has come a long way since Tang and weird freeze dried ice cream, but freeze dried coffee is just an insult.

[For a passing moment, he realizes that he knows a demon, and mentally makes a note to ask if they serve freeze dried coffee in Hell.

[foolishjustice]

I already did, actually. He was here when I arrived, and now he's one of the people I'm involved with.

What's even the fucking point? Coffee beans hold up just fine, and probably taste better on their own than a freeze dried mockery.

[tookashirototheknee]

Good. I'm glad you two were able to sort it out.

It's literally impossible to make drip coffee in most long-range spacecraft that originate from Earth. We haven't figured out artificial gravity yet, and creating some kind of suction to make coffee is, at least according to the people who analyze funding, a waste of time and resources.

Thus, we have to get by with freeze dried nastiness. It's awful. The only thing that makes it tolerable is that you're literally in space.

[foolishjustice]

Why not use a French press? If the coffee maker is full, a lack of gravity won't make a difference, and the plunger doesn't rely on gravity to separate the liquid from the grinds.

[tookashirototheknee]

I don't know if anyone's actually tried to do that, but I think some of the thought is if coffee grinds get out of whatever they're contained in, they'd play merry hell with the ship's systems.

There's a lot to think about when you're dealing with zero-g.

[foolishjustice]

Was figuring out how to fucking freeze dry coffee really that much easier than setting up a system to move grinds into and out of a French press?

[tookashirototheknee]

My first answer: Yes, because people are fucking idiots.

My second answer, because I'm a scientist more than anything: Yes, because the freeze-drying process was discovered and perfected for any number of things, and just applied to coffee.

Basically... the entire space program is 'what can we do to get what we need as cheaply as possible'.

[foolishjustice]

That sounds like it's going to bite them in the ass later. Cutting corners doesn't tend to work out well in the long run.

[tookashirototheknee]

Oh, it has already bit them in the ass a couple times. We've lost people due to faulty equipment.

And one day I am absolutely certain that we will lose people due to someone going crazy over crap coffee.

[foolishjustice]

And they still keep trying to be cheap assholes?

[tookashirototheknee]

Yup. In a way, I'm glad we didn't lose the space program at all.

There was a time around the turn of the twenty-first century where there just wasn't much space progress at all. I tend to call it the dark ages.

They did at least somewhat get their heads out of their asses, but... not enough. Never enough.

[foolishjustice]

That's about when I'm from. We're seeing research into telescopes and probes to study other planets, but not a hell of a lot on ways to get people past our moon.

It might just not be possible with our universe's physics, though.

Of course they didn't get their heads out of their asses enough. People in power always think their shit smells like fucking roses.

[tookashirototheknee]

I don't know. They didn't think they could get past the moon or maybe, if we were lucky Mars, for a long time.

I've been to Kerberos, which is one of Pluto's moons. So it is possible. Absolutely possible. People just have to get their heads out of their asses and prioritize the right things.

... sounds like you have experience in that. Politicians, military or coporate?

or more than one, I guess.

[foolishjustice]

Did they manage to figure out faster-than-light travel, or just ships that people could survive years long voyages on?

Politicians, corporate, and law enforcement. All three are full of assholes.

[tookashirototheknee]

We do have faster-than-light travel. We got from Earth to Kerberos in three months. Granted, the lion-ship my sister flies can do it in like ten minutes, according to her, so even faster travel is possible, which boggles my mind a bit.

... ew. I'm surprised you haven't taken to more vices than coffee with that shitshow. My sympathies.

[foolishjustice]

I'm really curious how you managed that, but I don't even know if it would apply in my universe.

My father's a violent alcoholic, so I've seen more than enough drunken behavior to keep away from that shit. And I can't afford to ruin my lungs with tobacco. So, coffee it is.

[tookashirototheknee]

I don't know how much engineering knowledge you have, but I'd be happy to talk to you about it. Engineering isn't my main focus, but I do know enough to try to explain.

Oh... fuck, I'm sorry. yeah, stay away from that shit.