Text - Anonymous

[foolishjustice]

I have a question, that...you'll probably understand my reasons for posting anonymously once you finish reading.

The local culture is very open and laid back about sexual interest. It's different as hell from my own home, where men who show sexual attraction are viewed as disgusting perverts and assumed to be dangerous, while people don't even fucking think about women having an interest in sex beyond wanting to have children. Some of the posts I've seen here would get everyone involved labeled sexual deviants for the shit they talk about in the open.

My question is, how do people adapt to it? I'm here doing my damn best to keep my mind out of the gutter because I've been taught thinking about anyone you don't want to date like that is disrespectful as hell and fucking creepy, but then I turn around and see people openly asking for hookups or rating each other's asses, and instead of people calling that shit skeevy, they either go along with it or treat it like a funny joke.

I know it's not prudishness, believe-you-fucking-me, my life would be easier if I was just naturally shy or reserved or whatever. It's an extreme form of culture shock, and I wish I didn't end up feeling like a dick constantly over the kinds of mental images I get from both the way people act in public around here and some of the things the prismals hand out as fucking party favors.

Comments

[foolishjustice]

Being related to one of the people who disgusts me does make it more difficult...I can't just tell myself there's no reason to compare us, because it's not true.

The advice has helped, though, at least a little. It's a relief to see that people here think the ones causing the pressure to be sexually 'pure' are the assholes.

[chainlinks]

I say at that point you might need to seek a therapist otherwise that shadow might follow you here.

[It is a pretty serious subject. It deserves a serious answer.]

It makes sense, doesn't it? It shouldn't be pure chaos either, but we try to censor so many things in the name of 'purity'.

[foolishjustice]

It's...hard for me to confess these things with my name attached. I can only talk about it so openly with you because you already know about my darkest secrets.

That purity ideal is at the root of why having me caused my mother so much misery, too. I won't repeat the things people called her, but not being able to prove my full bloodline seemed like it was just an excuse to treat her like shit for daring to sleep with someone she wasn't married to.

[chainlinks]

You could always go there with a mask on or a fake identity...but I understand.

The more Shido talked about the great nation of Japan, the worst it seemed to be at times.

[foolishjustice]

I've seen a lot of scum in important positions in Japan. There are a lot of things that should just be burned to the ground and replaced outright. The one thing he was right about is that the country is a fucking disaster, even if all he's ever done is make it worse.

[chainlinks]

You can't fix it by burning it to the ground either.

It might not be a perfect system, but Sae asked me to believe in it...and people can change. Did I tell you that she quit her job to become a defence attorney?

[foolishjustice]

You hadn't. I guess she got sick of working in a position where she was expected to push for conviction even if it meant twisting the evidence.

[chainlinks]

I think she also realized she didn't need to prove anything to anyone.

[foolishjustice]

I hope so. I watched her run herself into the ground, trying to convince her superiors to give her a promotion when she was already financially comfortable.

[chainlinks]

She seemed...really happy giving me her card. So I think so.

Maybe one day you'll think like that too.

[foolishjustice]

It would be nice, to be able to pursue my own dreams without worrying about impressing other people.

I'm glad she seems to be doing well, though. I'd been getting worried the Sae-san I liked was gone for good.

[chainlinks]

Well then...I expect you to reach for those dreams.

[foolishjustice]

...It might take a little while, though. I need to figure out what dreams really are my own, and which ones are motivated by outside pressures.

Since, I'm not exactly going to be able to continue my career as a detective back home, even if I don't spend the rest of my life in prison.