Text - Anonymous

[foolishjustice]

I have a question, that...you'll probably understand my reasons for posting anonymously once you finish reading.

The local culture is very open and laid back about sexual interest. It's different as hell from my own home, where men who show sexual attraction are viewed as disgusting perverts and assumed to be dangerous, while people don't even fucking think about women having an interest in sex beyond wanting to have children. Some of the posts I've seen here would get everyone involved labeled sexual deviants for the shit they talk about in the open.

My question is, how do people adapt to it? I'm here doing my damn best to keep my mind out of the gutter because I've been taught thinking about anyone you don't want to date like that is disrespectful as hell and fucking creepy, but then I turn around and see people openly asking for hookups or rating each other's asses, and instead of people calling that shit skeevy, they either go along with it or treat it like a funny joke.

I know it's not prudishness, believe-you-fucking-me, my life would be easier if I was just naturally shy or reserved or whatever. It's an extreme form of culture shock, and I wish I didn't end up feeling like a dick constantly over the kinds of mental images I get from both the way people act in public around here and some of the things the prismals hand out as fucking party favors.

Comments

[foolishjustice]

Was it that hellpit with some bullshit about a deceit gene?

Does being honest help you feel better about having the feeling in the first place? I tend to feel...pretty shitty over having sexual thoughts about someone I don't feel romantic chemistry with.

[fridgeninja]

It was the hellpit.

I don't feel bad about those things, so. It's hard to tell if being honest is the reason why or not.

It either works really well or it's unrelated.

[foolishjustice]

One of my partners spent time there, too. What the fuck was wrong with people there?

It's not exactly easy for me to just be upfront about these things, but I guess I'd at least know for sure how they feel about it.

[fridgeninja]

With this sort of thing, what I've seen people do is practice with someone who seems safe; and then they gain confidence over time, and move on to do what's harder for him.

[He's usually the safe person they move on from, but that's not really relevant, is it?]

If I start talking about what was wrong there, I'm not sure how I'd stop.

[foolishjustice]

The people who feel 'safe' would be the ones I do have romantic interest in, and that makes enough of a difference that I don't really feel bad about it.

Anyone I wouldn't ask on a date, I just feel like I shouldn't be thinking of them like that at all.

[fridgeninja]

Hm. That makes it hard to test.

I'd offer, but I'm probably not a very good test subject.

[foolishjustice]

Especially since we mainly know each other in passing.

[fridgeninja]

I hadn't even begun to guess at your secret identity.

[foolishjustice]

I'd hope not. This is anon for a reason.