prismatica | video (feat. one annoyed snek and one sassy car)

[The feed opens on a positively gleaming vintage car, parked in the shade under some leaves. It's black, it's expensive-looking, and it's obviously very well-cared for.

It's an interesting juxtaposition to the supremely annoyed hiss that's the first thing out of Crowley's mouth.] Ssssssssssso. If anyone else happens to want to bring something big here. Say, your car. Minor complication.

[At that point, he reaches into the frame and picks the car up, revealing a perspective trick that had been making it look reasonably-car-sized. He'd set it down under a bush, for the establishing shot, because even while VERY UPSET that his precious Bentley is about the size of a remote-control car, there was no reason not to show it off.]

Gonna have to have a word with that shop guy later this month, see if there's anything to be done about it. Meantime, I guess I'm stashing this inside somewhere.

[At this point, it becomes apparent there's a faint noise coming from the car; Crowley, still off-camera, sighs.] No one asked you. [The music continues, and he cuts the feed before the song can really progress.]

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Are you saying it would still be possible? I have seen some pretty fast remote controlled cars.

Wouldn't be any problem for me, give or take the current waste of energy I'd need to be putting into powering it anyway. [Petrol is for humans. Or for getting cool James Bond bullet-hole window stickers.]

You know, outside technology can be modified to run off of the same ambient Demichroma that powers the city.

It could be, but I've bought petrol all of once, so why bother?

It would make it easier to power, since it wouldn't have to come specifically from Chroma. Of course, it wouldn't help with the size.

[...Sorry, he's snickering again.]

Powering it isn't what I'm worried about. I will get it back to normal size one way or another, though.

[In the background, the car is still plinking its way through Bohemian Rhapsody, as it does.] Still haven't asked you.

[And that just makes him laugh even harder.]

I see it has a mind of its own.

No one to blame for that but myself. Spend 90-odd years getting your car used to the way of things and it picks up a few tricks of its own along the way.

[For all his annoyance with the situation and music-box-ified color commentary, he's clearly very fond of his car.]

I have to say, you're looking very good for your age.

One does one's best.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess you're not human, then.

Decidedly not, kid.

I don't think you're a nation, either...at least, I haven't heard anything about them being able to change sizes.

Nation? That's a new one. [So no.]

Gijinkas - er, anthropomorphic manifestations of the concepts of various countries, there's a few of them around. They're all I'm immediately familiar with that can pass for human, though, aside from Prismals with more subtle animal features.

Interesting, but not me.

So, fourth time in a month I need to explain what a demon is, or do you have that context already?

I've studied a bit of Judeo-Christian theology after running into relevant terms back home, even if it's not adjacent to my own...original beliefs.

[He's starting to suspect that things back home are...a bit more complicated than any single religion suggests.]

I was starting to think Aziraphale got the only one of you with anything close to context. Not your fault any more than it is mine, but still.

You probably have the basics, then. Lucy threw a fit and invited his friends to camp in Mother's basement, so on. By and large, that covers it.

...Ah, one of you must be the one who explained it to Satonaka-chan. Unless there are other people here who don't just assume the Bible was right about men being closer to God's image.

Green jacket? That was me.

That's her. She mentioned someone telling her about a version of the Abrahamic God that's female, and also a huge jerk.

[There's a longish pause before Crowley sighs.]

Is She setting out to be a jerk, I don't know. But that's the problem. She went bloody uncommunicative. If you have all the answers and can't be arsed to explain things to anyone, it amounts to the same thing.

I'm also not exactly unbiased.

I'm not either, considering the influence a certain deity has had on my own life.

That bad, huh?

He chose me to be his proxy in a bet for the fate of the world, designated me as the side representing destroying it and starting over, and manipulated events so that I would be isolated and desperate enough to make choices that pitted me against the proxy representing preserving the world.

...The other proxy is also currently my rival, close friend, and romantic partner.

So yes, that bad.

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