prismatica | text. @Blade

[Okay, that's considerate enough even if it gives a lopsided smirk to his mouth.]

You didn't have to cater to me just because I'm blind. This thing can dictate just fine.

What kind of lifestyle would "blade" imply?

[[He isn't a dick all the time, just most of the time. Okay not most of the time, 99% but like maybe if he's trying to ball bust people he likes or perceives he might. The 1% is reserved for people who want to try their hand at unsettling a Strider and God help those.]]

Nah it's not catering its me not being a giant asshole and thinking twice. Life lesson not to be a dumbass.

Ohhh.
Fuck.
Yes. Now this I can do.

[[This poor soul doesn't know what he's unleashed.]]

Man, definitely got to be like part ninja. Like I bet you have a cool backstory too and your name wasn't actually Blade. I bet you were picked up by the British CIA, the Tea-IA if you will, from your original, but specifically mysterious country of origin. At a young age you took on like criminals and stuff in the area, training to become greater than your mentor who was a total douchebag but he loved you anyway because he's like that in a tragic story of his own. Lost his son in a Royal Guard invasion of 'nam or something.

Anyway so you went through life training and learning the ways of the Katana, that you have another sword hidden just when someone thinks they've finally fucked you over? Nah motherfucker you've got the power of GOD AND ANIME on your side. You graduated top of your class in the Navy Seals, and have been involved in numerous secret raids on Area 51, and have over 300 confirmed kills. You're trained in gorilla warfare and are the top sniper in the entire US armed forces.

All while still being a British resident, since you can't seem to give up the love for your country of mysterious origin, resident BADASS and all around cool guy saving orphans and shit. Plus you're blind so it's like twice as badass because you get to use your synthwave vision to see around corners and know the maps of the place you're about to go skull fuck into submission.

As for the name in all this?

Blade is cause you like helicopters.
Duh.

[This guy is.

Laughing so hard.

It's gritty, starts from low chuckles to actual heartfelt guffaws.]

Shit.
I gotta ask. Why "British"?

[[That's another good point about this place, people laugh at his shitty socially awkward rambling. Dave is pleased with himself over this and it's only encouraged him.]]

Easy.
Second only to the Canadians, which are technically just British 2.0, the British are the only ones no one's going to see coming. But. But
[[he stresses, pausing for the effect.]]

Since you live in a world of espionage, ninjas and guerrilla warfare they can't just send a Canadian, the most obvious thing aboot the whole operation. That's why the British. Like, what are the British actually going to be suspected of? Milk in the cup before the tea? You know they're still salty about the whole harbour thing but they don't say it, they've turned the other cheek and that final slap makes the British the most dangerous. They got no cheeks after that. That is the final cheek.

I bet you're the kinda guy who could walk past the Queen, shoot a finger gun and she'd shoot one right back like, "Ah, yes, Ta. Good show." and you turn like "No problem 'Lizzy." wink and walk off and then like the ending credits would come up. But like as long as you stay for the end of the credits you see the sequel line up.

I'm right aren't I?
One hundred percented that level of right about your life.

[[He knows he's not.]]

Hundred percent.

[That's fine, it's not like Mamoru thinks of himself high enough to find his life and achievements worth correcting after.

Plus, this is amusing, and the kid he's listening to sounds, if anything, passionate about the rambling.

He's the last person on earth to stifle something like that.]

So tell me, how did I come to like helicopters so much?

Knew it. Nailed it.

[[He knows. Doesn't mean he won't pretend still. Passionate is definitely a descriptor. Others would describe it as insane rambling but passionate is much better.]]

Oh man another easy one, that's part of your tragic backstory. You have to have one because you're not the bad guy. You're like the guy who COULD steal your car or maybe save your life. Let's face it, you probably stole the car to prove you could and also because someone needed saving. It was like dukes of hazard but only more synth like I said. Oh fuck no, not synth. TRON. Lines and scans and like lasers and shit? Yeah!
Okay anyway remember how i said they picked you up? On top of the mysterious origin stories, you got adopted by some people who found you as a baby crying on their doorstep and the audience would have rioted if a cute baby didnt get taken in.

You don't know any better, you're a god damn baby, right? The guy who picked you up could've been anyone and so you grow up calling him Dad like all kids should grow up callin the male figure in their life dad. I mean it's normal right? Your mom was a stewardess and your dad was a member of the HELP. The Helecoptre's Elite Landing Party and would take you up when your mom had to go out and be awesome handing out those little peanut bags that everyone likes and taking shit from kids that don't know they have to pop their ears. Basically she was a badass too.

So anyway, one day you come home from finding out that your day was shit, you almost failed a test because you got suspended for defending the honour of your crush. We have to have a romance in there, Karkat would kill me if we didn't, and so you were suspended. Then your beater of a car from A to B kind got a flat all while you're trying to let people think you just have a sunglasses fetish instead of not being able to see and prom is tomorrow.

Only to find out-- now hold on for this: find out that your parents have been offed and its the same people who your original parents that dropped you on their doorstep. You find a really cool but obviously corny kanji symbol and then it flash backs to somehow you remembering shit as a baby because I guess babies can do that?

You pick up your Dad's wings, clip them to your schoolboy uniform and you're like off to go kill some bitches right? But. You get half way down the I-41 and you're like. Fuck I don't know how to get revenge and this guy who had a flat was pretty much just there at the right time to get you and train you.

The epilogue will be pretty cool and star your crush but its up in the air if they killed her or if they're holding her hostage and the only way you're going to know is if you go to war with them one last time.

[[He's not. Even. Winded.]]

[This is so, so much better than Siri.]

Damn. How did you find all this information about me, here I was trying to keep it on the down-low.

[[Sometimes he does things that people like, other times he's an annoying idiot.]]

Also easy.
I'm a Canadian masquerading as a Texan, eh hailing straight from good ol' Mon'real, in ze prov'ence of Qwe'bek. I bought a huge belt buckle and own at least several cowboy boots. Got to wear a jacket and call it a parka at all times, I had to learn at an early age that you don't slide down a hill on a american toboggan, you wear it on your head. That was one of the side arcs, montage of learning American words in difference to my own, modest, upraising by an RCMP officer and his wife that worked at Tim Hortons. I had to hide my maple syrup and disguise my polar bear as my wife and added a cardboard siding to my dogsled. Had to disguise it as a limo though, say it runs on sixteen to six horsepower depending on weather and terrain.

I've got t'know everything about the main character. I'm the comic relief in the series, that stoic sidekick that shows up and when you least expect it, holds off the hoards while the dubiously good guy goes and does something that steals the audience's hearts. I might or might not die, but in the end it's the bonding experience that matters and drives the story forward for the main character. You. You know, the kind of shit that solidifies him as the actual good guy despite that he has other kinds of frightening acts in his past that were more fuelled by the tragedies they don't find out until later about.

Edited (Getting too damn used to quirking) 2019-10-05 16:58 (UTC)

[There's a light "fshhhhh" and some plates clanking at the distance, but Mamoru is listening intently.

He's not even hiding the amusement in his voice.]

My bad, I forgot the polar bear - I mean your wife's - name.

So what's the plan now? Take my story out to tell the masses? Create a bioflick?

[Dave realizes he's literally doing dishes. He never thought blind people did stuff. Terezi is a different story, she can at least taste the... why does that feel different? Hm. Maybe she never felt blind. Inward struggle aside.]

Oh. It's Karen, we had to say it was Karen. That way when the end mission comes along she can take the kids, no one asks questions. Maybe a few ask to see the manager if they have the right haircut but our boss who say she hates you but doesn't? She can ward them off pretty easy. Undecided if she's that crush from down the line or not though. Might be too coincidental and convoluted. Good for dynamic though. Anyway, Karen takes the kids and I can pretend to be a divorcee when really the RCMP backed by my Dad's command can come in and extract you. They had a message strapped to their neck and live or die my Dad's got your back. It's what I would have wanted.
I would have wanted him to bring down the full force of the RCM-fucking-P, full moose regalia charging forward with lacrosse sticks and hockey pads and screaming poutine. The food not the translation.

Man it's a hard sell? Do you wait and end up like Rambo?
Do you do a few side appearances in other people's shit to fuck up their world lore? Yeah that's the one. You show right up in other people's shit like "You thought it wasn't your actual earth? Bitch please." and people go home from the theatre quietly looking around for tron lines or guys in sunglasses driving impalas. Which is what you drive by the way. It's your day car, and your badass car but you've got other ones in the spy storage for if you're feeling a little more adventurous.

That sounds like a franchise in the works.

[Man, if only dishes were the only thing this guy did.

The water stops, and for a second, he sounds very, very amused. It's a gamble, a very wide one at that. Because - knocks on the fourth wall - no one else ever plays from this canon anyway and meta aside, the likelihood of him ever showing up on this plane of existence is very, very remote.

But, he's done worse (or better, considering). ]

Think you're forgetting one detail, though. My arch-nemesis, Jesus.

It sure damn is. You gotta start somewhere though and then dream big.

[[Dave is, for all intents and purposes, shuffling around in a tiny blanket nest in the corner of his room, time to be a lazy lump and talk to people. ~~His mun is as canon blind as blind is, but the guy seems so damn cool, even to Dave.~~]]

Fuck me.
How could I forget??
That would be the other thing I'm useful for, the time travel arc. That enemy might even stem from the actual chance that you were trying to get to those other franchises? Maybe you go back in time to warn me from the first movie where I actually die that I have to dodge left and all you say to me, finally catching up is "Dodge left" and I don't get it. Mainly because you were just there, helping Karen move out and drove off. No car, you're on foot then at that point and it leaves me confused.

But man I dodge left and it fucks up the whole timeline. There's no such thing as a Delorean so we're super ultra hella fucked and have to figure it out by the same cool tech that trons the fuck out of your sight. I bet Bill Murray's in it too. That guy's in everything. Anyway, we've got to go back in time and see what shit fixes what shit so we can go back in the future and not fuck it up but still be baller. Totally not plagiarised. FYI when we're back in time and you're posing as Jesus in an under cover role to infiltrate the disciples, I'm changing the last dinner to Olive Garden.

[He chuckles again.] Look, I've been to one once or twice and I have nothing bad to say about Olive Garden. I think it's a legit choice.

[[Dave likes that he can actually make someone laugh and it not be at him.]]

Oh man. The bread sticks though. You had free will to go and you didn't go there every night? Now i'm convinced you had more important spy ninja things to do.

Edited 2019-10-10 10:06 (UTC)

Wasn't allowed off base that often. [An actual truth, but it sounds like bullshit from a movie anyway.]

Training was harsh back then. Glad the squad took me there, or I would have lived off instant ramen for the whole stay.

Ho.lee.fuck. We have to find out if they have an alien Olive Garden. Or at least the bread type. Not on the base no more and nice as it is, don't gotta worry about if your boys are there to take you. We're free captives now.

What do you think it's called around here?

Probably something dumb and to do with celestial crap?
Like green ovalmoons.

Are the ovalmoons even green here? [Not that he can tell.]

A question for the god damn ages, science still doesn't know. But nah, I don't know if you ever saw colour before but shit around here is...

[He's looking around, give him a second.]

Vibrant against a dark backdrop I guess? I mean not exactly that way, but a lot of things are eighties as fuck in my opinion.

Edited 2019-10-29 15:25 (UTC)

Wasn't born blind, yeah.

[That's actually an interesting tidbit of information, considering his own sight aid is composed by green gridwork over blackness.]

I did wonder if that was the theme. Guess the aesthetics match, huh?

text. @Blade

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I am so sorry.

I. am. living

lmao! I am glad to serve.

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me: making light of my own country, it's happening.

i am tipping my hat to you. no, not just mine. all the hats

lmao thank you for all those hats, I'm glad you're enjoying!

i'm amazed at how you can make his rambles on the fly

Thank you!! Those are high paid compliments! :blush: I'll write them any time you want lol

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