it was a graveyard smash | anon text

[necroyalty]

I'd like to gauge the feelings of the general populace here on a matter very near and dear to my heart, so please bear with me here. I know that I'm not the only person this affects, so perhaps we ought to have this discussion.

After all, 'tis the season, I suppose; we all got that message a while back about getting our fair share of "Dracula dick."

...

If there's no decomposition or loss of mental faculties, would you still be averse to bedding any manner of undead?

Comments

[boobytraps]

Indeed. But you can see how one might be averse if they've only dealt with the rotten type.

Still, as I said. I'd try anything once.

[necroyalty]

And this is why the dead traditionally have their flesh stripped with beetles before the mages have anything done with them, but I applaud your adventurousness.

[boobytraps]

They what.

[necroyalty]

If someone dies and they consented to have their body given over to someone else - usually either religious purposes or to join the Undying Guard - their body is cast into an enclosure filled with carrion-eating beetles.

They're delightfully fastidious creatures. Leave the corpses there long enough, and all that remains is bones. More aesthetically respectable, more sanitary, and most people have far fewer reservations seeing a skeleton walking around than the face of someone they once knew.

Or you could just have a rotting cadaver in a pinch, but it's rather frowned upon. My people seldom employed this method outside of more pressing situations such as war.

[ ...well someone just admitted to being from an entire country where everyone is just totally okay with necromancy. ]

[boobytraps]

( There is so much to unpack here they ought to just set the whole thing alight -- which by the by, is the appropriate way to deal with dead bodies, if you ask Isabela. )

Okay... let me see if I've got this straight. I've heard stories of mages using reanimated corpses in wars, but they don't usually last long enough to be of very much use. Not that I'm a mage or anything, so I wouldn't know. People are all right with skeletons just ... walking around, defending the city, all that?

[necroyalty]

It takes a fairly detailed alchemical ritual to make the bones durable enough to last, so I can see why many wouldn't bother.

That said, where I'm from, it's a very popular way to have one's body handled after they pass. Foreign visitors are rather shocked, but...

[ People just like, "SIGN ME THE FUCK UP FOR THE SKELETON WAR", because if you get to be a spoopy skeleton, why not? ]

[boobytraps]

So it's more of a cultural thing? I suppose a skeleton army would strike fear into the heart of one's enemies...

( Maybe it's not as weird as she'd first thought. Although the entire beetle thing is still a little bit creepy. )

[necroyalty]

That was precisely the reason my people employ their use in the military, yes.

...plus, there's just a lot to say about the aesthetic.

[ IT'S COOL OKAY ]

[boobytraps]

( Now that she can agree with. She's a pirate: she understands the appeal of bones. )

So this tradition, it's been going on for a while, then?

[necroyalty]

It's always been there in the undercurrent, but the past two decades have truly seen a resurgence of sorts.

[boobytraps]

These things do come and go in waves.

( And then she adds, because she can't quite help herself: )

I suppose this brings a whole new meaning to 'boning'.

( Hah! )

[necroyalty]

Oh no, please don't. I've never made an attempt, but I licked one of the skulls once on a dare from my brother.

It took ages to get it off the tongue.

[boobytraps]

Wait, you mean you're not one of those reanimated skeletons you've been talking about? I thought that's why you were asking!

[necroyalty]

I have flesh, you know.

It does require a fair bit of alchemical shenanigans to keep pristine, but I've always been nothing if not fastidious.

[boobytraps]

So you have flesh, but you're undead.

Should I even ask how that works, or is there more magic at play?

[necroyalty]

A lich, by very nature, is mage who chose undeath as a means of immortality.

We're sort of innately magical.

[boobytraps]

That's a choice you can make? Just like that?

[necroyalty]

There's a whole process you have to go through that involves a very intricate and taxing ritual, and failing that just means that you die slowly and painfully with no chance of revival.

And even the slightest of missteps can mean failure.

[Let's not mention how fucking sketchy it is on top of that.]

And before you prepare the necessary implements, you first have to acquire the knowledge on how. It's not exactly something freely given, so many of us end up making deals with demons or consorting with the spirits of long dead sages.

This could take time you'd rather not spend. I was lucky enough to accomplish all that I needed to within one year.

So it is indeed a deliberate choice, in the sense that you really have to go out of your way to attempt this.

[One does not accidentally become a lich.]

[boobytraps]

( She reads through all the provided information slowly but thoughtfully. )

So skill and desire aside, no-one's going to stop you from doing this? Where I'm from, making deals with demons is a very big no-no.

[necroyalty]

Can't stop what you don't know about. Funny thing about that.

[ IT'S NOT A CRIME IF YOU DON'T GET CAUGHT ]

[boobytraps]

So you're saying you did all that without being caught? Impressive.