it was a graveyard smash | anon text

[necroyalty]

I'd like to gauge the feelings of the general populace here on a matter very near and dear to my heart, so please bear with me here. I know that I'm not the only person this affects, so perhaps we ought to have this discussion.

After all, 'tis the season, I suppose; we all got that message a while back about getting our fair share of "Dracula dick."

...

If there's no decomposition or loss of mental faculties, would you still be averse to bedding any manner of undead?

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[necroyalty]

I don't believe most people here know of liches, so perhaps I could go into more detail.

A lich is an undead mage of considerable power who seeks out an oft-forbidden ritual - which, by the way, almost always includes human sacrifice - to embrace the eternity of undeath.

That means the power to send you into a sea of writhing appendages, all made with the purpose of fucking you. The power to change their shape into any form you desire, to bind you and leave you utterly helpless at a moment's notice. The power to make you feel sensations that, by all means, shouldn't even be physically possible.

Any secret desire or predilection you have can be yours, and it only takes a word.

And because we have already committed the ultimate taboo, there's really nothing else that compares in terms of judgment. Unless you have a word with the Dark Prince himself, good luck finding anyone else like that.

What I'm trying to say is, us liches are willing and able to make any and all of your most perverted, disgusting dreams come true, you utter degenerate.

[ This is text, but just imagine that last sentence was said in the tone of a woman spanking you while telling you what a bad boy you are. ]