anonymous text #2

[givemewings]

If someone was dead before being brought to this place, have they been resurrected?

It seems that there are numerous individuals that remember dying before their arrival here

if you are one of those people, if you are “dead”, i would like to ask you a few questions.

And if someone is dead in their own world, that raises the question of what happens when we “go back”

is this just purgatory before the final death sentence

wonders never cease, i guess.

Please reply if this applies to you or if you have any relevant information or opinions on the matter.

Thanks.

Comments

[doreimi]

that's how it is for mine, too.

but i think...

because of that, sometimes it's hard to be my own person, a little? do you ever feel like that, too? because so much of who you are is tied up in that person, so it's hard to know who you are without them.

[givemewings]

[there’s hitting the nail on the head, and then there’s that.]

Yes.

[typing that single word makes her feel...hideously guilty.]

Not that I mind, I mean...like I said, i don’t know what i’d do without her, she’s my entire world

But...because of that, i don’t always know who i am, outside of what she needs from me

And when she’s not around...my dependency on her instruction leaves me feeling isolated and listless

Lonely

It’s probably rather pathetic

[doreimi]

i don't think so. i'm happiest when i'm with my important person because when i'm with them, i...feel like i know exactly who i am. what i'm supposed to be doing.

but then when i'm on my own, i think about how lonely i am, too. because it feels like the world left me behind, a little. almost like...like everything else is moving, but i'm just stopped.

but i think i owe it to myself to figure out who "me" is, even so. even if i have to try a hundred things and none of them are right. because you're more than just a part of that person. and i think...

i think

how will that person ever see you as a whole person, either, if you can't stand on your own two feet without them?

[givemewings]

You may be right.

I don’t know how she can respect me when all i can do is cling to her and rely on her to provide me with agency

It’s always been a bit scary though

Without her to tell me what to do or how to act or to act as motivation for me...
Sometimes i wonder if there is even a “me” without her at this point

Maybe i should find out

[doreimi]

i think there must be. the you without her is the one who feels lonely. and even if it's a bad feeling, it's still yours.

i told a friend of mine once that i wasn't sure if my life would've even amounted to much, if i'd lived longer than i did. and he said, who cares whether it would've amounted to anything or not, because it would have been yours. you still deserve it. it's still yours.

so i think maybe that's something that could help you, too. even if it feels like without her, that "you" won't amount to much of anything...that doesn't matter. you still deserve for there to be a "you", whether you do anything with it or not.

[givemewings]

[“It would have been yours”

Oh.

That...affects her in a way she didn’t expect. It takes her a bit to reply.]

I always felt disposable compared to her.

So, knowing that I died, I thought...”that’s okay.” Better me than her.

Wanting to live for myself, I hadn’t even thought about it until I got here.

[It hurts. A little bit.]

[doreimi]

that's what i thought, too. about dying. "it was better that it was me".

listen...

if you want, i can message you with my name attached. maybe...since we're both trying hard for the same thing, we can help each other somehow. do you think?

[givemewings]

I’d like that

I’d like to get to know you.

[doreimi]

and if i do, you'll show yourself too? you promise?

[givemewings]

I think I can do that

I promise.

private text | un: bellabelle

[doreimi]

Then...hi. I'm Reimi.