four 💕 anonymous text.

[dereban]

so, once again, iiiiit's your local prismanon asking for some advice!

it's almost the end of the year, huh? like, ten months deep. i've been here for like, what? almost half a year now? that's kind of shocking to be honest. and it makes me wonder. who here misses their homes? but more so than that...

we're getting 'older' here, right? like, if your birthday passes, you count that as a +1 to your age, right?

so, the real question i have here is simple: if you start getting older than all of your friends back home, isn't it kind of sad? you spend all your time here, getting to know people, maybe making new friends. but you're aging. you don't know if your world's time is moving. like... i'm the only one from my world here, tbh. it's lonely! ( ´•̥̥̥ω•̥̥̥` )

the other thing ig i wanted to ask is...

if the person you care about the most is back home, how do you deal with that? how can you just bear waiting to figure out how to get home -- when you've been in this world for so long that you've almost given up hope on the idea that maybe, one day, they'll show up here. or even that you might actually go back?

Comments

[resenting]

Probably depends on what you're having to get used to, and who you've got with you.

Well, I don't have anyone I miss that much other than family back in my original world, so I can't comment much on that I guess.

[dereban]

i guess.

i don't have anyone from back home, so it's... harder. there are others that are so much luckier and i'm just a little bit jealous of those people. i can't help it.

[resenting]

That's fair. I don't have anyone here from my own world, but I have somebody from the other world, so I guess I'd be in that jealousy category.

I know what it's like to be brought somewhere against your will, though. I'll tell you one thing though, this world is a lot less cruel than it could be.

[dereban]

it could be worse. we're still considered as 'guinea pigs' though.

but for me this place isn't... i prefer home over to this place.

[resenting]

Yeah, I feel that.

To be honest, when I first got brought to another world I was excited as hell, I thought it would be like a light novel adventure or something. Reality is nothing like that sort of fairy tale, and I wanted nothing more than to go home for the longest time.

Compared to that, this place is better but it's still basically a load of crap.

[dereban]

of course it's not.

this is reality, not a light novel after all. you don't get OP powers or become some RPG protagonist.

[resenting]

Yeah, I guess not...

Wait, do you know me? Or-

[This is anon, and the number of people he's spoken to... that would be a pretty short list, really.]

[dereban]

[.........]

[ She looks at this and goes fuck. But she might be able to save this... probably. ]

i don't know?

you're anon too, and not to mention there's a lot of people here, you know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[resenting]

You know, it was a lot less clear before you used the emote.

[dereban]

i've been emoting this whole time though?! Σ(`･Д･ﾉ)ﾉ

[ SWEATS

NERVOUSLY.

She was trying so hard to type differently than she usually does, since she doesn't actually use emojis in her texts... ]

[resenting]

You used that exact one on your last network post, though

[dereban]

i have no idea what you're talking about （￣へ￣）

it's a common emoji and i haven't posted since last month

[resenting]

Sure, if you say so. I've got no special reason for outing you or anything, so I'm fine with pretending to still be anonymous.

[dereban]

well if you did

🔪

[resenting]

Yeah yeah, I get it.

Not that I blame you, anyway. I don't think you said anything bad or anything, but anonymity can be way more convenient.

[dereban]

it's easier this way

[resenting]

You're not wrong. You've been in this world a lot longer than I have, but if there's one thing I've learned, the worst thing you can do is to trust the wrong person.

[dereban]

i know that.

and i definitely don't want that sort of shit to happen. not now, not ever.

[ The people she trusts the most aren't here, so she's a little more wary. ]

[resenting]

Smart. Smarter than I was, at least.

That said, if you can find at least one person you can believe in, it does help. I probably wouldn't have even survived otherwise.

[dereban]

i take pride in that. won't say that i'm perfect, though.

[ She still has issues trusting others. Even if she's changed a lot thanks to the people around her back home... she feels like she's backpedaled a bit once she showed up in this world. ]

well, people rely on each other, right?

that's how it is in all worlds. you don't just live simply to doubt, or hate, or detest other people. nobody can survive like that.

ofc i'm not saying to like... cling to people. to overrely on them. bc you need to do certain things on your own. make your own decisions. be your own person and not live passively.

[resenting]

I can't go that far, I don't trust anyone until they've proven themselves to me.

All I'm saying is to find the people who can prove themselves, until you can find your way home.

[dereban]

i get that.

not trusting anyone...

[ She's like that, too. But it's different for her. She couldn't trust anyone. Not even people who might have 'proven' themselves to her -- like her friends, her family. The people who she was supposed to care about. ]

isn't it lonely like that though?

[ Maybe she's projecting a little bit.

But she knows that it was like that for her. Because she couldn't trust anyone, her life was simply suffering because she saw everyone as her 'enemies'. And many times she thought that maybe it'd be better, that it'd be so much easier if she just outright hated people.

She doesn't, though.

She still wants to have friends, even here. Even if she's away from the rest of the club-- her friends from back home. The people she cares about the most, arguably speaking. ]

it just seems kind of sad to think that way, personally speaking.

like... sure, you can't just trust everyone blindly. that's also stupid. but going as far as to 'test' them, to prove their worth...

isn't that conceited?

who are we to judge people? on what scale? we're not gods.

[resenting]

It's not like I think you're wrong, exactly.

I'm just never going to let myself get used the same way, ever again. If that means I have to be concieted then I'm fine with that.

[And there's his bottom line, really. He puts on a cool, logical front but the bitter truth is he's just angry, down to his bones. Angry at the people who crossed him, angry at the world itself- any world, really.]

[dereban]

[ She actually stares at this message for quite some time, mostly taking in the implications and sighing a little -- mostly at herself, but also this response. It's enough for her to frown as she's typing, honestly relieved that she isn't actually saying any of this aloud because she's certain her own frustrations about this mindset would bubble up. ]

you sound like you have issues that you just can't let go of.

i'll be a little blunt here: it's not a bad thing to want to protect yourself. hell, self-preservation is a hell of a lot better than recklessly throwing yourself at shit and potentially getting hurt and possibly accomplishing absolutely nothing.

but if you're putting people on a scale, constantly judging them, how the hell are you supposed to enjoy your life like that? it just looks like you're just sticking yourself in the past instead of being in the present, much less thinking about the future.

[resenting]

Look, I don't dislike you or anything but you have no idea what I've actually gone through.

I get what you're trying to say but it's not that easy when you're still dealing with the fallout.

This new world is the first time I haven't had to deal with it, and I'm not gonna waste that by letting my guard down.