text — un: dontannoyme

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so
HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKIN

what would a weird alien full-moon-magicky space-fuckin-odyssey STI look like






& check the username before u go to reply, NO STUPID ANSWERS !!

Comments

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ur place ?

[ he has the sneaking suspicion he'd never be rid of Titus if he knew where he lived. ]

[wearingguess]

[ his suspicion is... not incorrect
that said, lbr, he's unlikely to ever be rid of titus anyway ]

Very well. I am not busy now, so I shall await you. Oh, I was thinking of ordering delivery! Do you want anything from the gyro shop?

attachment: locat.ion

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[ ooh... ]

hell yea ! get me a fat boy with extra of that sauce they put on em

[wearingguess]

The red sauce or the white sauce?
Oh I am going to get baklava too. How much baklava do you think you can eat?

[pushpin]

white one !!

um
my fuckin weight

[wearingguess]

I'll get four orders to start with... We can always get more later.
Now, we shall see whether the food gets here first, or you do!

— action

[pushpin]

[ if Titus had put money on the food, he'd be right. ]

[ reluctance has Guanshan taking his sweet ass time, a hair-brained idea fueled by morbid curiosity and the masochistic love of his own righteous anger that logic all tries to beat out to no avail; he's not the social type, but he does like diving into all the wrong decisions just for the hell of it. ]

[ he doesn't look all that different from how one might imagine from his texts — dour-faced, a hard brow, a mouth that permanently makes a frown. maybe taller than pictured, the knocks at Titus's door coming from high, free hand stuffed in his jacket. ]

[wearingguess]

[ the door opens seconds later; there's a peephole, but titus doesn't bother using it. (the food already got here, so it's obvious who it is! unexpected or dangerous things probably don't even exist.) ]

Mo Guanshan, hello! It is I, Titus Alexius! [ ...and now, having completed his effusive greeting, he actually takes a look at his guest. no doubt about it: that's the face of a nice guy. (titus himself probably also looks more or less as one would expect, provided one was expecting blond, blue-eyed, and beauty-marked; his fashion sense has gone native, so the vibe is less marilyn and more old-school madonna.) ]

Well, please come in. You are quite tall! Food first, or glowing?

[pushpin]

[ oh. a... girl? just a very effeminate guy? the androgyny throws him for a second, the chipper greeting another, his outfit a third. sure, the natives dress like garish 80s rejects, but why the fuck would anyone not from this planet ever bother? ]

[ it takes him another beat and then he sighs out, sounding more aggravated than he really is. he's getting free food and a glowing dick out of this, what in the whole wide universe could he really have to complain about. (don't worry, he'll find something.) ]

Yeah, mm'tall. And yer a midget. [ what is this, a good 25 cm between them? ] Food.

[ he pushes right past, basically shouldering Titus out of the way, and following his nose to the ambrosial smell of lamb and tzatziki, rudely digging his way into the bags. ]

[wearingguess]

[ it's honestly so sad that some people are ignorant of the fact that acid-wash denim and white lace are timeless and universal. ]

Well, there was never any chance of my becoming tall, but I believe my stature is well within the normal range. Or do you come from a world where everyone is as enormous as you?

[ he shuts the door and gets comfy on the couch, reasoning that the polite thing to do when someone is rifling rudely through all the food is probably to wait patiently for them to finish. ]

[pushpin]

Relevance to others don't matter. Yer a midget to me.

[ and that's that on that. will Guanshan ever call him anything else? probably not. ]

[ several bags are torn open, two gyros meticulously inspected for spinach. disgusting green leafy devils. once he's satisfied, he spreads them open and dumps a healthy dose of sauce on them before closing them back up and stuffing one into his gullet. there's definitely a smear of sauce on his cheek as he plops his ass on the closest piece of furniture he can. ]

I don't gotta, like, pay some big magical price fer this do I? Lose a arm or some shit.

i live

[wearingguess]

[[ for real tho feel free to drop this, i just felt like, since the stated endpoint is a glowing dick spell, it would be kind of weird to just move on to new things with no attempt to address how that turned out ]]

[ fortunately titus ordered three gyros so there's still one left for him!! ...but actually he's starting with some of the baklava. ]

What? No, nothing like that.
Why, are you trying to get rid of an arm?