❧ text; un: alucard

[reposing]

Greetings.

I have a request to make and am willing to pay as one sees fit.
I need a coffin to be made with careful specifications. Some requirements would include ensuring that it is made with the intent to last for many years, the interior to be comfortable enough for a man to rest in, and perhaps a few other details depending on your skill set.

Before you ask, yes. It is for me.
Take that as you will.

Comments

[reposing]

Rest assured, I have standards unlike others.

The sunlight's never bothered me, actually. Not that the same could be said for other vampires.

[lifehacker]

man you can't publicly put another vampire on blast indirectly like that
dunno if he's even still around, i only keep tabs on like three people at best
what about like, churches
... do they even have those here...

[reposing]

I can and I will.

It depends on the purity of belief. Even then, holy water is more like a tingle to me at best.

[lifehacker]

same but i'm just a bad boy

[reposing]

Bad because you're mischievous or bad because you're obnoxious?

[lifehacker]

see, you already like me and you've never met me
both
i also kill people professionally

[reposing]

An interesting assumption to make, yet the more we have this conversation the more despicable you sound.
An assassin, then. An abhorrent profession.

[lifehacker]

i just look like a guy when you meet me. someone you'd see as a background character at a bar, or a club. the guy down the hall in your apartment complex. the late-twenties to early-thirties burnout white guy who spends his whole life playing video games and has a porn addiction.

except i kill people and i like it a lot.
i'm also super fucking cool so people can't handle it

[reposing]

You sound pathetic, actually.
But I suppose there's something to be said for your confidence.

[lifehacker]

yeah heard that before
don't worry, you'll meet me one day and get chroma off me one way or another
always happens

[reposing]

Then I look forward to being the first to resist your "charm".

[lifehacker]

I'm Travis.
i'll get everyone in the end

[reposing]

Alucard.
That remains to be seen.

[lifehacker]

dude you made your username your actual name? this is some boomer shit
isn't that just dracula backwards

[reposing]

It is a moniker.
Oh, is it. I never noticed.