text | un: konoha

[lumberlady]

PLEASE ATTENTION

greetings! is KONOHA! you may know- woman jinba 人馬 👩🐎 CENTAUR? much apologies for bother after ”LmaO” trouble... send wellness wishes to damage or hurt people. please take care with LUNATIA city device. can make go into heat or influence head...

but! now SANGUIS 😡🌕 is coming, so in fact, i ask for people who like fight...

please consider fight my husband!

husband get much energy in SANGUIS, so need different way to use... but must be very strong or will be hurt by accident. i mean ”strong” as muscle strong 💪, not power strong, not weapon strong, not MAGIC strong. do not want any big injury, so need be able to fight and defend from mountain jinba. big mountain jinba, size is this:


^ is husband

if strong is about same and can fight husband for SANGUIS 😡🌕, i give CHROMA 💴 or pay with farm product 🥕🥔🥒. hand ✋ combat only!

if have interest, please say and send one photo!
(i respond voice or VIDEO! now is text for studies practice.)

much thanks to you for attention.

- KONOHA 🌳🍃

Comments

[lumberlady]

[Oh... sharp! Her tongue runs over her own weirdly sharp teeth self-consciously, nodding along.]

Well, I really appreciate that... We’re people, we’re just not human, so, thank you...

[Now quick, what’s the word...]

Do you have that.... “super strength” or something? That you can tussle with extra-humans?

[meteorman]

[He nods along to the assertion that they're people, just not human. When he was younger he was less good about that, but he was a lot less good in general when he was younger. It's remarkable what thirty years out in the multiverse dealing with all sorts of strange beings will make you reconsider about what 'people' is.

That next bit, though. Ahah. Well.]

Oh, no. Nothing like that. Though for a human I imagine I'd be considered stronger than average.

[He did scoop two twelve year old children up into his arms once like they were bags of marshmallows. That's, what, 90 pounds each? Right after he spent several hours being tortured and was definitely not at peak condition? It's fiiiiine. He'll be fiiiiiiiiine.]

Primarily I just have a stubborn streak and a lot of experience.

[lumberlady]

[Nothing like that? Konoha accidentally mouths the lines in repeat, as if thinking she might have misheard. Surely a human didn't want to tangle with a jinba... or maybe he'd fought with some other non-human things and felt pretty confident... ?]

I... don't know about that, then... I don't want to belittle your experience, but... I'm also just really afraid if what would happen if Gonta kicked you...

[meteorman]

Oh, don't worry. I have it on good authority that I'll live to be at least 92.

[He's scheduled for a heart attack around then. The person who told him this probably intended to make him very aware of his own mortality, but what he heard was 'you can do whatever the fuck you want and be fine because you're guaranteed to live to 92'.

Nobody should ever tell Ford Pines anything, is the takeaway here.]

[lumberlady]

"Good authority" like... a fortune teller?

[She was a little superstitious herself, but-]

Did they tell you you'd reach 92 in good health... ?

[meteorman]

A demon. And while generally I'd take anything he said with a mountain of salt, telling people the exact dates and times of tragedies was one of his favorite jokes.

Apparently I'm due for a heart attack then. If that's what actually kills me I'll be very disappointed.

[lumberlady]

You’ve talked to demons?

[...]

Oh, goodness, so have I now... Why is that still so surprising to hear... ?

[meteorman]

Oh, it's very normal for it to take some time for the shock to wear off! I've just been interacting with the supernatural for long enough that that punch has worn off for me. I miss it a little.

[Which isn't to say he isn't still incredibly hype to be talking to his first-ever centaur. It just hits different when you're also still new to knowing things like centaurs exist, versus being very aware and just never having personally met one.]

[lumberlady]

Is it... really common in your world, or are you just special?

[which could sound sarcastic from anyone else but she means it pretty genuinely... !]

[meteorman]

[That's how Ford tends to read it. In a place like this where everyone is from somewhere different, questions about what's normal where someone's from have a pretty good chance of being genuine. One can never assume.]

A little of both. My world has plenty of non-human beings and anomalous events, but the vast majority of people are unaware of them or believe them to be nothing but fairy tales and conspiracy theories. I'm one of the few who treats the study of such things as a valid scientific field.

[lumberlady]

Oh...

[At least he actually gave a real answer! She's gotten pretty incredulous reactions for saying other worlds were strange when she herself was a centaur (which was apparently strange!) but-]

After meeting all the people here, I can't help but think maybe my world has lots of things in it I don't know about either... We have all sorts of stories about demons and stuff...

[Lunatia and some demons she's met here definitely making her think they might be real.]