prismatica | VIDEO; un: robotman

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VIDEO; un: robotman

There's some-- some easy solution to all of this, right? Surviving the cycle with your sanity intact? Something I'm overlooking? Am I too distracted?

[Dressed in a black tank top, Robotnik looks... well, stressed out, mostly. And weirdly translucent. And sweaty. Definitely moonblessing issues. His hair's a mess, his mustache isn't faring much better, and he's pacing back and forth judging by the movement of the screen. Of course, the obvious solution is staring him right in the face, but he's ignoring that right now.

He's not even sure why he's bothering with the network. He was intending to suffer in silence, get this over with, get back to what passes for normal around here. But he wants to talk to people. Since fucking when? People are the last thing he needs, ever, but especially now.

Iris, he's concluded over and over again, is indeed the worst.]

Barring the obvious, I mean. It's-- It's incredible. I thought-- I thought I could take it, thought I could handle it. Nothing stumps me like this. [He runs a hand through his hair.] Everything has been... inconclusive. Ridiculous! Inconclusive! Think about it! I can't figure it out! Me!

[He's babbling. But in his defense he's running through his first Iris cycle on the heels of having a serious fucking case of alien-mind-share-device-induced brain junk data. Shit's fucked.]

How the hell do you live like this?

[Yes, he's absolutely making way too big of a deal out of this but he doesn't care.

He'll care later, probably. He'll definitely care later. But not now.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

_{[ Here's +1 sadist who finds amusement in this network post. Though, most Iris cycles, he can't help be delight in some of their suffering.. especially when they express it so openly. However, his face remains neutral if not a bit unreadable. ]}

Just spit it out: "I need to get dicked."
No sense beating around the bush.

People are pretty open to picking up partners on the network.

Edited 2020-05-14 02:14 (UTC)

Barring the obvious, [he repeats, looking partially annoyed and partially... unsure of anything. Every response reminds him just how bad of an idea this was.

He's blaming the fact that he's clearly not in his right mind.]

If that's what I was looking for, I doubt I'd be trying to find a way around it. I'd be doing the opposite. Which I'm not.

[Or, y'know, he's just really bad at the whole intimacy thing in general, but still.]

Just seems like a lot of effort when this planet is full with a bunch of horny people.

_{[ A half shrug. Gintoki, you're just lazy. ]}

It's okay to admit defeat and accept your slippery-ass fate. Nobody is going to give a crap.

_{[ He gets it, though. He's not the most intimate person either. Gintoki shouldn't assume every iris has that issue, but, it's always just fun to see what they do. ]}

Right! A bunch of horny people I don't really care to deal with!

[Sorry, horny people. Even if he's technically also one. Why.]

I don't give a crap about who gives a crap, I give a crap about me, and that's who matters.

[Part of him's also kind of mad about this because he's been trying to be nice, except he knows he's only been trying to be nice because it's making him try to be nice--]

_{[ Oh, sensitive. That kind of statement just reeks of supervillain for this shounen protagonist.
Fortunately, he's a slacker with apathy. ]}

You can have sex with someone without having to deal with them, you know. That's what glory holes are for.

[Does he need to start attaching a wrecking ball to things? He can start attaching a wrecking ball to things.]

Oh yeah, real sanitary. Just because they're anonymous doesn't mean they're not there. Still dealing with.

_{[ A partition makes it better for him. Just saying. Gintoki is really racking his brain here, though. He is a do-it-all freelancer. With this problem, there could be an opportunity for him to be hired to find a solution.

Wishful thinking, though. He's just thinking of dollar signs. ]}

Invest in a hyper-realistic sex robot. I don't know if anyone has tried that yet so I'm not sure of the out come. I doubt it will work
Back home, I had one. Her name was Janice-san.
She deflated, though, so I guess she wasn't really that hyper-realistic.. or she wasn't built for BDSM. B*ndai could have done better.

_{[ He's just putting all of his kinks out in the open, apparently. ]}

Oh, aa. Maybe get hooked up with someone who wasn't a human, but is now a Moonblessed. That's happened here. It might be a different experience than with someone that wasn't originally the same species as you.. it might make it.. not so bad.

Or worse. Who knows.

_{[ He's really no help here. ]}

Otherwise, you'll just have to suffer I guess.

[Hold that other thought, man, because he is hung up on the first one.]

That-- that's it! Not invest, I don't need to invest, I just need-- time and materials... Maybe I do need to invest. Either way. I can't fucking believe it. It's been in front of me the whole damn time. How did I not see it?

[Probably because he's been too distracted to think. That's got to be fucking up his IQ.]

I'll figure out the best options for efficiency... design some blueprints...

[SOMEONE'S GONNA BUILD A SEX-BOT.]

_{[ Oh? OH? Gintoki rubs the back of his neck. Look how smug! ]}

Aah, you know, you know. I'm a businessman. It's my duty to come up with solutions for my clients. Oi. You know what else you could do? You could open up a sex-bot shop for other stubborn, repressed, arrogant guys like you who don't wanna deal with it.

Anyway, I deserve 5% of your profit for the idea.
And a free bot.

And a chocolate parfait.

Fat chance, there was never any agreed-upon payment. Should've thought of that first.

[Well he seems to be in a slightly better mood, at least.]

Doubt I'm going to make a whole store out of it anyway. I, uh, generally do combat drones.

[A little out of his wheelhouse, maybe, but that won't stop him!!!]

_{[ Figures. ]}

At least a parfait, man. You can spare that much.

_{[ Combat drones, though. What. ]}

Oii, oiiii. Just make sure whatever you come up with you don't accidentally install something dangerous where you shouldn't.

_{[ Spoken sarcastically: ]}

Would hate to see you blow your own ass up. I mean, unless you're into that.

Maybe, [is all he'll promise. Maybe he'll get him a gift card.]

Do you really think I'm incapable of putting a goddamn robot together? Really? I understand I don't give the best impression right now but I can assure you I'm damn good at what I do.

[Of course the fact that technology involves magic here is throwing him for a loop and the last person who tried to help him learn did NOT help at all is a bit of an issue, but he'll figure it out.]

'Course, I could always make its weapon systems situational...

_{[ He's a bum who takes anything if it's free. It's fine. ]}

Making a robot sounds easy. Just follow the instructions, blah blah.. there were tons of them back home. Most of the time they came with instruction manuals.

Just saying. We've all been there. You get a habit of installing a rocket launcher on one part of the robot. Make sure to leave it out since it's probably a habitual thing.

Anyway. Looking forward to your sex robot business.
_{[ Gintoki, he just said he isn't going to do that. ]}

Make mine look like Nami from One P*ece.

Suuure, reduce my technological prowess to following instructions, why don't you.

[Big ol' eyeroll.

He's about to say something snarky about rocket launchers too, but he pauses.

And pauses.]

I have no idea who that is.

_{[ opens his mouth..... closes it. You know, he's not surprised. This guy does look old.. not like Gintoki has any room to talk. He really shouldn't be into manga as much as he is in his age. ]}

D..Don't worry about it. Janet Jackson will do.

...Really? Interesting choice.

[He considers it for a moment, then squints at the screen.]

Wait, I'm not building you anything. And why would you want it to look like anyone?

[His isn't going to resemble a human at all, so there.]

Janet Jackson is hot, so why not?

_{[ If he keeps being annoying and assume you're gonna built him one, maybe you will... ]}

Why wouldn't you want it to look like someone? You can make a sick fantasy become reality without getting arrested. Who doesn't want that?
_{[ Sometimes it's really debatable if Gintoki is the protagonist of an extensive manga series with the filth that comes out of his mouth.
But anyway, the fact this man seems extremely standoffish when it comes to people, he thinks he might know the answer. He's just curious of the answer in the doctor's own words. ]}

[He shrugs a shoulder. He can see it, maybe. Not the appeal, exactly. She's not his type.

Why is he thinking about this.]

I mean, I don't want that, for one.

[He has like one person total he'll even let get near him. And like hell he's making a sexbot of him.]

I figure I'll just branch off of my usual design, work for efficiency and options rather than looks.

If you're such a gooooooooddddd robot maker like you claim to be, you'd be great at efficiency, options, and looks.

_{[ Is this a valid point? IS IT?
IF IT IS, WHY IS IT? ]}

How does not having an interest in putting a wig on a robot translate to incapability?

[HOW DOES IT, HUH???]

I have a particular aesthetic and it doesn't involve replicating celebrities.

_{[ Flatly: ]} Depending on how smart the robot is, which, you're so good at this, I'm sure they're quite sentient, she might feel embarrassed about being bald. Huh? Don't you care about Robot Janet-san's feelings? Nobody wants to fuck a baldy either.

What is your aesthetic? An antique microwave? Is that what turns you on?

I'M NOT MAKING A ROBOT JANET JACKSON.

[Well, at least the conversation's distracting him from other things.]

I like my machines to be sleek. Efficient. Deadly.

[Weirdly egg-shaped.]

_{It really does sound like a commercial ad for a microwave..}
Anyway, sounds pretty good to me. An army of robotic sadists. We're usually sleek, deadly and efficient. It's like a dream come true.
_{[ He never said he was making an army??? Just one for him?? ]}

If you need anymore assistance with this project, I'm here to help. I do anything for the right price.
_{[ He holds up a business card: Odd Jobs Gin-chan. Robotnik isn't the first person he's pushed his services on. ]}

My rates are low. I'm a charming person to work with.
_{[ Just look at those dead fish eyes. ]}

Though, consider the wig. You might actually like it if you give it a try, Robotman-san.

( VIDEO. ) un: SUGARSAMURAI69

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