un: coolguy

[soupervillain]

CALLING ALL VILLAINS, EVILDOERS, AND GENERAL BAD GUYS!!!

GOOD GUYS DO NOT READ THIS!!!

(that means you)
Okay, now that that's out of the way! I'm Giovanni Potage, captain of the Banzai Blasters. (Please hold all autograph requests until we meet in person.) Any fellow bad guys want to team up and commit some crimes sometime? My knife-bat hand's getting kinda itchy, if you know what I mean. Know any good museums to rob? Shops to lift? Parks to litter in? Say the word!!

- Giovanni Potage
Captain of the Banzai Blasters

Comments

[spacedisaster]

Like 'wiping out half the life of the whole universe from existence' kinda trouble.

It took five years and a lot of lives to fix that one.

[getting_better]

Some Chroma or Demichroma in your pocket wouldn't be a bad idea but there's something else you gotta think of too. Escalation. You got a plan in mind about that?

[greatestcool]

I kinda thought villains are jerks? But I guess there are all types of villains!

[this is the dumbest thing he's ever found funny, bless.]

So what kind of villainous things do you do?

[sendinthedelta]

wat like a comicbook villain?

[force_a_change]

[She just makes a "hm" sound to his first bit, but at the rest of it of say having sixteen friends she chuckles.]

I don't have that many friends, but I can always ask what few I have about it sometime.

[terribletwos]

it's kind of like painting a big target on yourself.

[firstsaderesponder]

that too [His lifestyle = being a sadist.]

are you even a villain if you don't hurt people? like i went after ppl biking at night without a light but they're not really villains

villains are like

terrorists and stuff

[holocast]

The entire organization was mine, yes. Founded and run.

That's actually a noble goal, I'll grant that. I've never been one for disposing of people once they've outlived their usefulness, or whatever the usual excuse is. If they've been recruited, it's for a reason; I'm not going to simply get rid of them if they fail me. Besides, train them well and treat them well and that won't be an issue.

[poopio]

There is no need.
I have the excess chroma to spare, and I work in a cafe.
Whatever is not purchased that evening can be donated as it would go to waste otherwise.

Have you any plans that are stirring, or would you prefer to keep it quiet until the meeting?

[angelshot]

[ B r u h.
Is this dude for real... Panty's expression is somewhere between "skeptical" and "ha ha holy shit get a load of this guy". Which is kind of like the pot calling the kettle black in all honesty. ]

cool. so youre gonna be taking the fall if the whole thing gets fucked up then? ;)

yeah been up there a bunch when i had the chroma for it. id case the luxury lines first if i were you.

[shrugsitoff]

so if they get cavities
its ur fault?

[pushpin]

[ ... ]

thats actually probly the best reason i ever heard
kinda shocked

[casaposa]

No. The word itself exists in my world's language, but I doubt that's what you mean.

And quit announcing your intentions like that. All that wailing is going to do is bring more attention to yourself.

[soupervillain]

Think I could paint the opposite of a target on myself? What's something that's like a target, but makes people aim away from you instead?

[soupervillain]

YES!!! Exactly!! Except REAL!!! Superpowers and everything. Go ahead, be amazed!!

[soupervillain]

Yeah, there's some out there that really don't pay attention to people's feelings. But not THIS villain, baby!!! Giovanni Potage upholds the ideals of the Banzai Blasters, or what I'm pretty sure are the ideals of the Banzai Blasters, anyway. Never really got an official mission statement. But the way I see it, hurting people: bad. Killing people: extra super bad don't do it.

And I steal stuff!!! I robbed a museum of its PRICELESS ARTIFACTS!!! Well. One artifact. But 1 times priceless still equals priceless!!!!

[soupervillain]

........Oh.

That's bad.

[soupervillain]

That's Giovanni Potage for you!!! Full of surprises!!! But you shouldn't be shocked by a bad guy wanting to take care of his minions. No villain worth anything got to where they are without a good solid team of minions to back them up!!!

[soupervillain]

...Maybe. Is this still a metaphor??

[soupervillain]

Well, yeah, I would... IF that happened, which it won't, because I am a master criminal!!! But of course I'd take responsibility if anything went wrong!!! What kind of bad guy boss dumps it all on his minions, huh???

Awesome, we got a heading!!! I'll check out what they got up there and give you the full rundown when I get back!! AND THEN we heist!!!

[soupervillain]

Oh my god, dude, you're missing out. I have GOT to introduce you to the best sport!!! In any world. Trust me on this one.

[spacedisaster]

Very.

So, don't be that level of villain, it's really not worth it.

[soupervillain]

[ Giovanni smiles, an open and very much non-evil-seeming expression, even with the pointy teeth. ]

You're a good kid, kid. See you on the field!

[soupervillain]

Awwww.

Attention?? Hah!!! I fear no attention!!! You know, supervillains, it's kind of our thing. Get our names out there, build a brand and all. Ooh, except cop attention. Don't like that.

[soupervillain]

I'm not gonna KILL people!!! Geez!!! I'm a villain, not a CREEP!!!