🍎 Text, anon

[bolderfell]

What's the deal with tomatoes. They're just messy fruit full of water.

Comments

[bolderfell]

[After a minute, he gets a photo attachment in reply. The subject of said photo probably used to be a tomato--beautifully cut, even. It has since suffered horribly, cooked into wrinkled, soggy nonsense with butter and red wine in a cast-iron pot, suitable only to scrape into the trash can.]

Wasn't impressed.

1/2

[casaposa]

[This fucking goblin!!!!

It's not that hard!! It's not a complicated ingredient!!! Caesar didn't even have strong feelings about tomatoes until this nightmare thief came into his life.

Because who else could it be but ole Therion. There can't be another anon user with a tomato grudge in this city and if there is, he's going to eject himself from the planet. ]

[casaposa]

Because you don't know what you're doing. You're flying blind with no skill and it shows.

I'll show you how to cook it.

[bolderfell]

I don't need someone to come cook me a tomato.

[casaposa]

Right. Because you've got the technique down pat, do you?

[Goddamn Therion. He didn't ask to be in tomato hell, but now he's gotta prove some kinda point.]

If you practice, it will get easier and it will taste better.

[bolderfell]

Or I'll stick to what I already know.

[Does he mean he can cook other things? Possibly. On the other hand, we can all rest assured he's an expert at shoplifting sandwiches and snacks from the Mondo Marts.]

Aren't you a little young to be so patronizing?

[casaposa]

[This guy somehow manages to hit every single one of his buttons.]

Aren't you a little too old to be such a brat?

1/2

[bolderfell]

Hasn't killed me yet, so I guess not.

private; UN: T.leaf

[bolderfell]

[And then, uncharacteristically, he switches from anonymity to privacy.]

You know you don't need to take care of me. I am an adult, I've been looking after myself longer than you have.

There are actual children stuck here that could use your...whatever you want to call it. Nosy do-gooding.

[casaposa]

Don't mistake this for pity. I know you aren't a child.

But if you're going to judge it, then do it properly. Make it correctly and then decide whether you dislike it or not.

It's of no consequence to me what you decide to eat.

[He's just OFFENDED at THIS abomination.]

[bolderfell]

[S i g h.]

Fine. Someone gave me actual instructions for how to make a soup, so I guess I'll try that next time. If my pot's still usable.

[casaposa]

I wasn't cooking for you that day. Writing down such a simple recipe wasn't my priority.

Your pot will be fine. It can be salvaged with some work.

[bolderfell]

That's fine, too. No one here's a stranger to that.

Good luck with your weird friend below.

text; un: supersadistmaster

[firstsaderesponder]

[Well, well, well. Sougo didn't really care for this message, but he looked into the replies and found someone messing with Caesar.

So naturally, he couldn't miss this opportunity to pile on.

He replies with his own photo: tomatoes, butter, and red wine haphazardly smashed on a door, as if they were thrown. The door to Caesar's room.]

no like this

[bolderfell]

[Therion's missing so much context for this, what.]

Huh. Looks like they stain, too. Guess that's another point against them.

[????]

[firstsaderesponder]

[Sorry Therion, Sougo's just here to fuck with his roommate. But he appreciates someone else who enjoys making Caesar miserable.]

you should try it next time. caesar would really like it

[bolderfell]

Oho. I get it now.

Well, like you said. Have to consider it for next time.

[firstsaderesponder]

maybe they won't stain if they're thrown at caesar himself

[bolderfell]

Someone could test that. For science.

[firstsaderesponder]

good idea. it'd be a shame if this test wasn't recorded, though...

[bolderfell]

No scholar myself, but I understand accurate and immediate recordkeeping is the most important part of any academic trial.

[firstsaderesponder]

sounds like we're on the same page then

be careful of his magic bubbles

[bolderfell]

I said someone should test it. Also said I'm not a scholar.

here but not here

[casaposa]

[Hey Sougo???

He's in the house.

He was in the the room when all that shit hit the door.

And he's coming to kill you.]

[firstsaderesponder]

[WELP.

Once Sougo heard the sounds of yelling and loud Italian cussing, he was out the door.

Try and catch him, Zucchini!]