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[unhappy]

Hey, so, I don't know my birthday.

(If you want to know why, click here for all the bg info you need)

How do you pick one?

Comments

[glorifies]

[ It sounds like something a dog would understand more than a human would... He's not really sure what to take from this. ]

Senses truly are heightened during the Sanguis moon, don't they? But you've been adjusting well.

[unhappy]

The smelling and teeth are fine... They're weird, but it's not like it's a big change. It's more.. the mood stuff.

[ She smiles though, looking excited. ]

I found a guy who's going to give me special sedatives so I don't do anything stupid for the triple moon. It's supposed to keep the aggression and territorial mood stuff in check.

[ She's still really, really concerned about that part. Some times are worse than others, but she's already got aggressive tendencies and the added on Sanguis features make it a lot worse. ]

[glorifies]

[ Akashi stays silent for a bit. What Emerald says is a little alarming, and he has to figure out how to say that that worries him without them getting into another argument. So, he tries, approaching the matter with caution. ]

Who is it? Have they tried it before?

[ What if it has a different effect on Emerald? Don't accept candy from strangers!!! 😖

Akashi doesn't sound mad or anything, more curious, actually. He wants to know more about Emerald's plans first. ]

[unhappy]

It was Doctor Naofumi from a place called the Heavenly Fowl Apothecary. And I have you on speed dial in case something happens with it.

[ Because.. honestly, she's not exactly a fan of taking drugs either. but given that her anger issues can result in her threatening extremely dangerous people on a hair-trigger without Sanguis moon's influence, she thinks it's worth the risk before she does something. ]

It's not like I want to, but... I can barely control my anger issues when the moon isn't out. I have to do something.

[glorifies]

[ That gets him to frown. What if it's a quack doctor and it makes things worse or it does something to her health? "A guy" isn't exactly that trustworthy compared to buying it from a drugstore with a prescription... ]

Do you think it will help you?

[ Akashi asks now because as hesitant as he may be about the idea, he wants Emerald to be sure of what she's doing. He won't stop her—he's learned from past experiences. He has to let her do things on her own and trust her. ]

[unhappy]

I don't know. I don't want to take drugs, honestly. That's how a lot of people get stuck on the streets. But I don't know what else to do.

[ Her shoulders shrink a little bit. Honestly, she's tried to kind of express it toward him but.. ]

I'm scared one day I'm going to have a really bad day and get worked up over something and come over to see you and smell someone other than Chihiro around your apartment and do something reactive because all I can see is red.

[glorifies]

I'm glad we're on the same page.

[ And he doesn't think that's the solution to Emerald's Sanguis tendencies, either. There's got to be something else... ]

Nothing violent has happened, right? You've been doing well. Though I can understand being scared. [ But it's just for a few days... ] Would you prefer if I stayed over during Sanguis? If I have errands to run or places to go, then you can come with me. We can tell Mayuzumi-san about it, too.

[unhappy]

Can you at least stay over the first time I try it? They said it might impair my reflexes so I'd feel better having someone there.

[ Mayuzumi and she live together, but she can't just ask either of them to stop their lives for her. If Akashi is offering though, she's jumping on the chance. ]

[glorifies]

I meant that I would stay with you so you wouldn't have to take it.

[ He doesn't want her to take any of these weird drugs from some shady guy he's never met!! 😖 He's really worried, okay... ]

[unhappy]

I don't want to be a burden. I'm fine if you take care of me normally, but asking you to babysit me eight days a month is asking too much, isn't it?

[glorifies]

But you'd be doing something you don't want to do otherwise.

[unhappy]

[ She thinks for a moment, leaning back slightly and glancing up at the ceiling as she does, then looking back at him. It's a difficult situation, and she knows he doesn't like when situations don't have a perfect result. ]

Everyone does things they don't want to do if it means doing something more important. To me, not becoming a burden on you and not hurting anyone because my anger issues are made worse by a moon in the sky are more important than feeling a little woozy. I wouldn't have asked about it in the first place if I didn't think that.

[glorifies]

[ He doesn't like this. He's not even worried about the side effects just yet. Who is this guy who's giving medicine to people? Is he legit? What if it's fake and does something else? He'd be fine with Emerald taking some sort of drug if it's been tried and tested.

And honestly, he'd talk to this doctor himself, but he doesn't want what happened last time to happen again. He doesn't want to get into any more arguments with Emerald. He's scared of hurting her again.

Emerald does make a good point though, so... ]

You'll stop taking it if the effects are too much to bear. Is that fine?

[unhappy]

[ She nods. She knows he's worried. She's worried too, honestly, but she's not sure what else to do that isn't going to cause more problems. Locking herself up for 8 days out of the month isn't working well either, and honestly? She has no idea how she could ever do something to Akashi or Mayuzumi, but Mercury's experience with someone who should've been a loved one hurt him has her on edge about that too. She doesn't even want to think of a world where she could hurt them (arm punches and friendly shoves aside), even on accident.

Emerald holds out a hand to Akashi, as if to shake on it. ]

Deal.

[ But.. she does want him around for what she asked before. ]

Will you still stay with me the first time? Just in case? Even if it's completely legitimate and I'm not allergic to anything I know about, I don't know what's even in it so... I'd feel better if you did.

[glorifies]

[ Akashi doesn't even think about shaking her hand. He takes hers to hold over the table. His thumb rubs the side of her palm in a soothing gesture. ]

I'll be with you for as long as you need.

[ He wouldn't be able to leave her alone after that, anyway... Hope she's ready to get mommed hard. ]

[unhappy]

[ Emerald is always up for a good momming. In fact, though she looks briefly surprised by the soothing gesture, she gives him a small smile. It's really earnest, though. ]

Thank you for supporting me.

[glorifies]

I wish I could do more.

[ But... that's all he can do now. It sucks, but... sometimes, just being there is supposed to be enough. Mayuzumi said so. ]

[unhappy]

You can. Kiss me.

[ She smiles and backs up and away from him though. She's heading for the bedroom!! ]

[glorifies]

Em— [ Ah, she's gotten up, so he follows?? He takes a quick glance back at the table though because he wants to clean up, but if Emerald is leading him upstairs, then he can't really take care of that now! ]

[unhappy]

[ The dishes will be there later. Emerald will even do them for him if he doesn't mind waiting. ]

It'll be Sanguis tomorrow, do you want me to stay over?

[ Because they could wake up and she could look like.. god knows what. ]

[glorifies]

Would Mayuzumi-san be alright with that?

[ The two of them live together, after all! He doesn't wanna ruin any plans the two of them might have, either. ]

[unhappy]

I'll just text him. I spend every night with him, unless we have something planned he'll survive.

[ Don't think that she isn't willing to come over 50-50, Akashi, she is.. he just never asked..... ]

[glorifies]

[ He doesn't ask because he doesn't want to take either of them away from one another!!!! ]

You can stay here if you'd like, then. I won't say no to having more of your time.

[unhappy]

[ Honestly, she would ask except she doesn't want to be Too Much. She knows she's crabby and that he doesn't like arguing, and that she piles her laundry in the corner of the room until she's ready to do it, and that she likes to leave the windows open at night and then complains it's too cold. It's one thing to take care of her for short periods of time and Emerald assumes no one actually wants to do that full-time, out of habit. It's one thing to make her milk, it's another thing to lose sleep all the time because of her nightmares and her late hours. Mayuzumi's fine because he sleeps through it or she'll get out of bed and sleep on the floor, but she's pretty sure Akashi will get sick of her shit if she moves in, and besides.. Mayuzumi is way more easily embarrassed about that kind of thing, whereas Akashi is romantic and embarrassing most of the time, so she figures he hasn't asked because he doesn't want that.

In the end, the only reason she would never actually ask to move in with Mayuzumi or Akashi is because her own self-esteem is low enough that she doesn't think it's her place to. Mayuzumi invited her. The only reason it isn't 50-50 with Akashi's is because he hasn't asked and Emerald would rather see less of him than have him want to see less of her.

That same logic is why she's a little too keenly zeroing in on the way he's answering. Mayuzumi's comfort with her being here is first-- which is fine, she knows that Akashi's very considerate of him in some ways. Then it's if she'd like, and that he won't say no. It's stupid, because she knows that he loves her but she still notices that he never actually says he wants her to stay. So she just slightly slows her roll. ]

Are you sure? If you had plans, you can tell me. I know I just came over..

[glorifies]

I'm sure.

[ Did she see the way he kissed her when she arrived? He's glad that she's here, and he would never turn down the idea of spending more time with her. Being in a place like this, though, there are so many open possibilities. There are so many things to do. He wants Emerald to see the world, too. He'd learned that trying to contain her would do neither of them any good. Not to mention, he doesn't want to impose on her so much anymore. Emerald's learned to make choices for herself, and she's become a little more independent. He wants her to make her own choices, rather than have him make her choices for her.

But beneath all that... while he loves both Emerald and Mayuzumi, and as selfish as he may be, he doesn't want to take them away from one another. The two of them liked each other first. Akashi's just a hanger on.

Emerald's dedication towards Akashi is something he doesn't doubt at all, but he has an idea as to where he's placed in this relationship. ]

I don't have anything planned. Like I said, I was just going to play shogi. I'm glad you came over.

[ Even though the conversation that led to that was... weird. ]