1st job [voice; open]

[gobjob]

[ He's not used to speaking to an audience he can't see. Then again, he's not exactly great at talking to people he can see, so maybe that makes little difference. ]

I'm looking for goblins.

[ Shocking. ]

They're an abundant problem where I am from. But I haven't seen any here, and many people say they don't have them in the worlds they come from. But I am looking for them anyway. Let me know if you find any, so I can kill them.

[ His tone is mostly blunt, his sentences direct and to-the-point, but anyone with a keen ear might detect that he sounds a little... strained, perhaps. As if the complete and utter lack of goblins is, in itself, a concern. ]

Also, I would like to know how to access the sewers so I can make sure no goblins have taken up a nest there.

Comments

text

[yakiniku]

What does a goblin look like?

Voice

[gobjob]

[... He can barely figure out how talking on this thing works, he's not ready to even attempt typing yet. That's fine. He just responds in voice chat.]

Usually small, humanoid in shape. Usually green, but can vary between yellow and brown as well. Elongated ears and nose. More advanced types of goblin may be several times larger than a human.

voice

[yakiniku]

Advanced types of goblin?

[He wants to laugh and point out just how ridiculous that sounds, but he's already met a yokai and a girl with invisible psionic arms. This place was just full of surprises.]

Interesting. I cannot say I have ever come across a goblin before, but should I identify one, I shall contact you immediately. If I cannot kill it myself, that is.

voice

[gobjob]

Yes. Hobgoblins, Goblin Champions, and Goblin Lords. Each are stronger and more intelligent than a regular goblin. Goblin Lords in particular are dangerous because they can coordinate and command large numbers of goblins all at once.

[He can't tell if the man was speaking out of disbelief or not, but he answers matter-of-factly nonetheless. Skepticism doesn't faze him. He would rather put information out there and have it be ignored, than to not try to inform people at all.]

Be careful. Goblins almost never travel alone. If you find one, that's a sign that there is probably a pack of them nearby - and once you engage the group, they must all die right then. None can be allowed escape. Those who survive become more advanced.

Even if you kill them all, tell me where they were.

voice

[yakiniku]

[Definitely disbelief, but it fades when he continues to speak of them as though they are a well-studied plague on the earth that is serious enough to warrant some amount of alarm.]

I see. I may not know one if I see one if I am being honest with you, but we will see.

[He's not sure he should bring this up, but it can't hurt.]

What will you do if goblins do not exist in this place?

voice;

[wearingguess]

I do not believe I am acquainted with any goblins...
Why do you wish to kill them?

voice;

[gobjob]

[The simple fact that such a question is even being asked is proof enough that this person has never met a goblin.]

All they ever do is take what they need and kill those who are in their way. They offer no good to the world.

voice;

[wearingguess]

Surely that is not all they do...! [ this sounds really serious but also kind of, like....... bigoted... maybe??? ]

I am confused. Please tell me what goblins are. Aside from beings with nothing to offer the world.

voice;

[gobjob]

It is all that they do.

[ a blunt, stern reply if ever there was one. ]

They are monsters. Humanoid in shape, with long ears and large noses. Usually small in size, though certain varieties grow much larger than the average human. They exist purely by raiding settlements and taking whoever and whatever they need. That which is deemed unnecessary is destroyed. Men, children, and the elderly are butchered and hung on display. Women are taken.

voice;

[wearingguess]

H-how horrible...
...What is their origin? Did they come from a dungeon? Or... are they some sort of faction of... something?

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[purport]

You must consider them a significant threat.

[So he surmises]

I didn't see anything of the like in the sewers, but I can show you one point of access.

Voice

[gobjob]

In a city like this, if a goblin attack were to spring unexpectedly from within then the casualties could be... significant.

I would appreciate your help. I can pay if that's necessary.

Voice

[purport]

[There follows a pause during which he fumbles with switching to voice]

No need for compensation. We've seen how the locals handle surprise threats. I can give you an approximate loction, or show you, whichever is simplest.

Voice

[gobjob]

I could probably find it if you gave me an idea, though it would be faster to show me firsthand.

Voice

[purport]

Very well. Where shall we meet, then?

Voice

[envoyoftwilight]

Goblins? Are you finding yourself without things to occupy your time?

[Midna laughs a little.]

I've heard of bokoblins and moblins where I'm from. I can assure you that none followed me here.

Voice

[gobjob]

I am.

[... Because goblins are what usually occupies his time, and nothing else really matters, so--]

Bokoblins? Moblins? Those are new to me. What are they like?

[Maybe none of them are here right now, but if they're anything like goblins then he'd rather know about them than not.]

Voice

[envoyoftwilight]

[She honestly doesn't even know how to begin describing them.]

I... suppose bokoblins are a bit stocky. Bulbous, perhaps. And moblins are taller and thin. They very obviously would not look like the other residents of Lunatia, I'm sure.

[At least she had the courtesy to share that much with him. Midna's never been particularly interested in getting close to those kinds of creatures. That was always Link's job, really.]

Voice

[gobjob]

I see.

[... Though "stocky" and "taller and thin" don't really give him much at all to go on. But she seems to feel they would be noticeable, so it's fine. Probably.]

Do you kill them?

Voice

[envoyoftwilight]

Did I kill them?

[Midna laughs.] No, not I. [Although she supposes she helped Link a few times by holding his things for him while he went to town.]

Someone I travelled with did, however. It was his job, I think, though I don't think the payoff was worth it.

[sympathyforadevil]

Kairon looks... concerned, when he responds. "I dunno, dude. Goblins are pretty okay. Bit weird, but who isn't, am I right? There's bad ones, sure, and you gotta stop those where you find 'em, but if they haven't caused any trouble, even if there are some down there, it's gotta be better to leave 'em alone."

voice;

[gobjob]

[He's... barely figured out how to make voice work on this device, so he has no shot of figuring out the camera just yet. But he can reply with audio, at least.]

If they're amassing it's only a matter of time before they come to the surface to take what they need. When they do, they will slaughter anyone who is in their way and take delight in doing so.

This will not stand.

Re: voice;

[sympathyforadevil]

Well, that's concerning. "Maybe Goblins from your world are like that, but this is a totally different world. Probably the goblins are different. Tell you what, why don't I go down there with you and if there are goblins and they're like you say they are I'll help you drive 'em out myself. But if they're just minding their own business we'll leave 'em alone. Okay?"

voice;

[gobjob]

No.

[He isn't hesitant or softspoken in his rebuttal - his tone is blunt, to say the least.]

If you are not comfortable with killing goblins on sight, then stay where you are. If I see a goblin, I will kill it, and every goblin that it nests with. I will do this until all of the goblins are dead. That is all there is to it.

[sympathyforadevil]

All there is to it, huh?

It's not about not being comfortable with killing. I've got oaths to uphold, and they require taking up arms when needed.

But I don't give a shit what sort of self-righteous bullshit you've been huffing lately. The instant you start advocating genocide, you've lost anything even fucking resembling a moral high ground. I'm offering to give you a chance to learn something, here, but hey-

If you're too much of a coward to even admit you might be wrong, I got no problem smiting the fuck out of a self-righteous prick.