text, un: phantompaws

[yumenope]

It’s truly a tragedy that all the attention has been given to the mostly two legged inhabitants of this fair world. Therefore, I propose a simple solution.

Please post the most flattering picture of your feline or canine companion. We will then proceed with assigning it an arbitrary number, let’s call it one to ten, that seemingly corresponds with how fetching it is.

( yes, this is “please rate my pet”. yes, this is a mockery of rate my ass and the like. yes, he’s fully intending on rating your pets. )

Comments

text | usn: legosi

[canids]

( this thread is a circus of horrors for someone who had grown up with a best friend who was a golden shepherd, but legosi can't help but ask: )

Does it have to be a dog or a cat?
What if you have a pet that isn't either?

text

[yumenope]

If you’re up for the challenge, go ahead.

picture is of a beetle for anyone who doesn't want to see bugs

[canids]

( at this point legosi doesn't really care what number anyone might assign his pet — he thinks he's great, but it's just the principle of it... not all pets are dogs and cats! and he still thinks dogs and cats being pets is really creepy!

anyways, after a moment, he uploads a picture. of a stag beetle, except one who is a beautiful blue color, like a gemstone. )

His name is Ryuuto!

[yumenope]

( he truly does not know how to react at first. he was not expecting that. perhaps a rabbit or some other type of pet people have been posting. but. wow. )

...Is he immortal?

[canids]

( legosi is avoiding the picture of the rabbit. his girlfriend is a rabbit. it's really weird to see that one. )

I'm not sure...
I hope so.

( his last beetle passed away recently... )

He is a little different from insects I've seen back home, so anything is possible!

[ssrs]

damn i was hoping ud post a selfie or somethin
u got a pet tho?
show us the goods

[canids]

( the username is familiar — it takes him a moment to remember. the person who had teamed up with him playing that game a few months ago! )

Oh! Hello again
Why would I post a picture of myself...? I'm not a pet...
I do have one though

( the image loads to be a stag beetle, brilliant blue, held in a furry, clawed hand. )

Meet Ryuuto!

[ssrs]

[ has he even seen legosi irl yet... squints at the hand. ]

thought that was a dog paw for a moment lol
wait

[canids]

( legosi doesn't really pick up on the vibe of itaru's reply. )

It's not a dog paw...
It's a wolf's hand...

( he's not a dog! he's a noble ancestor of the dog!! )

[ssrs]

howd u get a wolf to hold a beetle like that

[ HES STUPID IM SORRY ]

[canids]

It's my hand!
I'm a wolf!
You've seen me... don't you remember?

( i love this )

[ssrs]

[ ok, well. give him a moment to process this. he knows that technically, this is just some isekai wet dream that he'll eventually wake up from -- and that furry people already are a norm here, so technically... a More Furry person shouldn't be that surprising?

still, for someone who normally keeps his real world so separate from the fantasy... ]

h/o
facetime me

[ HE'S CALLING U RN PICK UP!!!! ]

[canids]

( legosi jumps a little when the phone suddenly starts ringing in his hand. really?? was it that hard to believe? they'd already met before! (the fact that it had been in a game where you could customize your avatar doesn't really register to him; he just doesn't know that much about games).

he picks up, and his lupine visage fills the screen, complete with the scar over his heavily-lidded eyes. he frowns ever-so-slightly. )

What...?

[ssrs]

[ and here it is. a wolf answering a facetime call, kind of looking like... you know. he blinks, because the sight is technically familiar -- indeed, he's seen legosi before, in game, and he's looked exactly like this. he didn't think much of it then, but... ]

Ah. [ is what he says, eloquently. ] Cool.

[ but it's just like itaru to simply accept weird shit at face value. he does have a mini-freakout, somewhere inside, and then he figures that rolling with it is ultimately all he can do?? ]

You look a little scruffy. Like Tramp from Lady and the Tramp.

[canids]

( yeah, that's basically exactly what it looks like.

he isn't sure how to respond to "ah, cool," so he just arches one eyebrow, his breath leaving him in a huff through his nose. ) I know humans are usually... startled to see animals like me...

( you may be trying to act cool, itaru, but he's calling your bluff. he's seen too many humans have their mini-freakouts far more obviously than you. )

I... don't really know what that means. ( is there a beastars version of lady in the tramp? where two dogs of different social statuses fall in love and defy everything to be together? if so, legosi hasn't seen it. ) But, uh... You're right, I guess. Even though I try to keep as clean as possible...

[observing]

what do you have? i'd like to see.
i can show you one of my recent works...

[canids]

Okay. One moment...

( legosi sends the picture of a stag beetle, its carapace a brilliant blue color, shining like a gemstone. it's held in a gray-furred, clawed hand. )

There he is!
His name is Ryuuto!

"Recent works"? What do you mean?

[observing]

what if i told you i could make him bigger?

( stop, i'm crying. )

we can add him to the list if you're willing, then he'll be my recenter work!

[canids]

Bigger?
If he's too much bigger he won't be able to fit inside of his terrarium...

[observing]

you have a living room, don't you?

[canids]

Yes, but I'm usually the one living in it...

[observing]

hm... i can fix that!

why are you like this

[canids]

What if that's something I don't want "fixed"?!

what did he DO

[observing]

you have it living outside.. it deserves to be in the house?
in your livingroom.

everything

[canids]

He does live in my living room! In his terrarium!

( there's a pause, followed by another picture: the same blue beetle happily sitting on a large branch in a glass terrarium, placed on a piece of furniture in a living room. )

See?