video; un: wanwan

[arf]

[ Taichi is just making like, a normal video post. He's got doggo ears! Perky ones, and a dog tail swishing back and forth behind him like a dog who just got told he got a treat. Sanguis doggo time!! ]

Taichi Nanao here! Hehe, look~ I kind of guessed this would happen, but I'm a dog!

[ He's just proud of this fact. He gets called a dog without the ears and tail all the time.. ]

This is where I say "arf arf" right?

[ It's not bad when he's the one telling himself to do it.. ]

What's the weirdest animal anyone's become? The coolest?

Comments

[firstsaderesponder]

[Damn.]

That's a shame. Bad dog.

[Well, what's not to say that Sougo isn't making a joke as well? He won't let the dog thing go now.]

[arf]

I didn't do anything yet!

[ Don't scold him! He'll probably do something worth scolding eventually but he hasn't yet (he thinks?!) ]

[firstsaderesponder]

Then speak.

[Sougo...looks like he's completely serious about this? In truth, he just wants to mess with a puppy boy on the network!]

[arf]

Arf?

[ He says it... ] Wait- no. I'm not doing it!

[ YOU ALREADY DID, TAICHI... ]

[firstsaderesponder]

[There we go. We can have a lot of fun with you, Taichi.]

Heh. Looks like you're a real dog after all. Can you do any more tricks?

[arf]

On my skateboard, and I can do hyper-origami and ultra yo-yo!

[ He's also an actor and he can sew, but those aren't tricks so he doesn't list those. ]

[firstsaderesponder]

[Huh. That sounds surprisingly normal, besides the fact that he said hyper-origami and ultra yo-yo. Sougo will keep up teasing Taichi about being a doggie, because...what even is small talk.]

That's impressive for a dog. But you can't even stay or roll over? That's sad.

[arf]

[ Taichi is, tragically, normal. Average. Doesn't really stand out no matter how hard he tries. :')

His ears flatten as if he's being scolded. ]

I'm not a real dog, I'm a person!

[firstsaderesponder]

Then what are those ears for? People don't have those ears.

[People generally don't have the traits the Moonblessing gives them, but okay! He points at the screen, as if indicating something that Taichi doesn't already know.]

Unless you're an alien.

[arf]

[ He covers his ears with both hands, so since his device is on his arm, Sougo will get the worst camera view of his back for a moment. His tail is still wagging above his butt. He's whining but he likes attention a lot... ]

I'm not an ali--

[ Wait. He lowers his arm to a normal level and looks seriously at his new friend (yes new friend). ]

Am I am alien here? I came from another planet!

[firstsaderesponder]

[Wait, wait what is he doing--dude, the camera's on your arm. Sougo doesn't have much of a reaction either way, though he does note that wagging tail. A dog who seems happy even when being teased.]

You have a tail coming out of your ass. You're a dog. What're you so excited about? I don't have any treats.

[He blinks, seriously considering the idea that...in this place, they're the aliens. Maybe Taichi isn't as dumb as he seems?]

I guess you're right. But it's not like we're visiting here. It's more like being held captive.

[arf]

Well, it's cute though.

[ He likes dogs okay... he's not unhappy to look like a dog, but the way he's being teased!! Isn't this unfair?! ]

Rather than alien invaders, we're aliens who've been reverse-invaded...

[ He's not. A complete idiot, but he's not smart either. ]

[firstsaderesponder]

You think a tail out of your ass is cute? How do you sh** with that?

[Oh, if only Sougo was actually there, he would pull on that tail to mess with him. Sougo's also capable of self-censoring his speech due to the series he comes from, don't mind it.]

Sheesh, I'm used to aliens, but I'm not used to this.

[arf]

It's not coming out of it! It's where my tail bone is!

[ OH MY GOD HIS BUTTHOLE IS NOWHERE NEAR IT. ]

Though it'd be more comfortable to sit on the toilet backward. [ Queue Taichi's next trip to the bathroom being Butters style just to test it out. Thanks Sougo. ]

Besides, they have those Hydra 5000 things here. But you have to get up really fast.

[ he furrows his brows in thought, humming under his breath as he has another top tier thought. ]

If you sit backward on those, the slap wouldn't go well, so you'd have to know what kind of toilet you're on at all times.

[firstsaderesponder]

[The more Taichi gets annoyed at him, the more Sougo will want to keep trolling.]

Well, you gotta at least be careful with it. You don't want crap all over your tail.

[Is he giving genuine advice? Who knows. His own Moonblessing hasn't caused toilet issues. He's mostly gone shirtless during those days as the antlers and bat wings get in the way, although that does help with the heat.]

And just because you think the slap wouldn't go well doesn't mean there aren't people into that.

[Oh Taichi, so innocent.]

[arf]

Definitely not. That would be so uncool..

[ Uncool is the issue here. Right. Moving on. ]

Wha-?

[ Who wants their dick slapped? Taichi is about to get his mind blown ]

[firstsaderesponder]

[Yeah it would be pretty uncool, among other things. Never mind that Sougo's boss and big brother figure crapped in his pants one time...

But now it's time to be Taichi's teacher.]

You know. The masochists. The Hydra 5000 things probably don't slap very hard, so it isn't too hardcore though. It's not like they're flogging you or anything. [Shrug. This is Sougo's version of small talk.]

[arf]

Flogging...?

[ He sounds more hesitant asking about it this time. He's learning too much. Sougo you are ruining his life. ]

[firstsaderesponder]

You haven't heard of it? It's when you strike someone with a whip that has those tail things.

[The sky is blue, the bear shits in the woods, some people are into flogging. He says it so bluntly like everyone else in the world knows this except for Taichi.]

[arf]

...Why?!

[ He looks so alarmed. He's never done it but that sounds like it would hurt?! ]

[1/2]

[firstsaderesponder]

[Taichi looks so unnerved, and all Sougo does in response is shrug.]

'Cause some people like the pain.

[2/2]

[firstsaderesponder]

[A split second later though, and he breaks out in a crooked grin.]

Me, though, I like giving it.

[arf]

I.. I think I have a lot to think about.

[ He's overloaded for now. He has to consider all of this. He has to wonder how someone can look so into giving pain. Sougo looks so into this idea he's never seen anyone look that into something so blatantly before!???

He has many things to consider and try to never bring up himself again out of embarrassment. ]

[firstsaderesponder]

[Just as quickly as he got into sadist mode, Sougo is back to his usual disaffected self again. This is child's play, a regular everyday occurrence. "Normal" people were freaked out at him in his home world too, but the zaniness of every other damn character in Gintama made up for it. Here, his weirdness is even more pronounced.]

So you're really vanilla, huh. Don't worry. If you like doing the dog thing, I can still convert you.

[Sougo, don't make it sound like turning Taichi kinky would be saving him. It would be the opposite.]

[arf]

Why does it sound like a religion when you say it like that?

[ He's choosing to ignore the dog comment this time! It's too hard to deny anyway when caught off guard he'll actually bark. Sougo's digging in on it enough that he's able to avoid doing so right now but..!! ]