001 | ( VIDEO. ) | APRIL 9th

[herocomplex]

<sub>[ It's a little unlike him to put off making an appearance, vaporwave furry alien world or not, but finally, America makes his introduction on the network with a couple of very urgent and important questions. Nevermind the fact he's already sprouted a pair of fox ears. He looks a little something like this.

Nevertheless, he acts as if nothing is amiss: ]</sub>

HEYA GUYS!! Alfred here!! Dude, I know this shit is totes whack and all, but I've got to ask you all a few things really quick, okay!? LISTEN UP!!

1. Have any of you been probed in the ass yet?
2. Where the fuck is the Denny's?

Hit me up, okay! These things are important!! Hahaha, okay, seeya--!!

_{[ With that, he's gone as quick as he appeared. ]}

Comments

this is a shitpost

[nodus]

glory liked your post.

voice;

[amant]

[ RING RING MOTHERFUCKER. UNCLE FRANCE COMING ATCHA. ]

Have you hit your head?!?!

PROBED IN THE ASS? YET?!

[ He takes a deep breath in and slowly releases it after counting to ten. ]

I cannot believe that I am saying this, but perhaps you should show some restraint in what you put out to the general public.

[herocomplex]

Wooaaaah, dude. Chill the fuck out!! It's a simple question.
I mean, with all these aliens, I'm just asking!! It's okay if it happened to you, buddy! I just wanna know how it all went.. for science reasons!

On that note, I wonder if any of them have laid eggs in anyone's stomach...

[herocomplex]

thx pal!!! i ♡ you too
butt also
this doesn't tell me where denny's is so i kind of unlike ur like
is that possible??? ok cool

i found an unused coupon with all of my other shit and like
goddamn a grandslammer is sounding hella good right about now

[amant]

[ France is used to America being weird. America is used to France being weird. ALL IS NORMAL HERE ]

We're technically the aliens here, don't you think? We did come to their planet.

If anything, you should be asking if any of the so-called Moonblessed have probed any of the locals yet. Please... resist the urge.

[ Hmmmmmmmmmm... ]

I have been more hungry than usual... Interesting.

[ Don't encourage him, France. ]

[herocomplex]

Dude, shut up. People keep saying that we're aliens or whatevs but I don't think so. Like.. they're the funny looking ones. So..

_{[ Says the one with the fox ears. He gestures to absolutely nothing to try and prove his point. ]}

Haha, really? I mean.. are you gonna find any weird snail food here?

_{[ America is always hungry anyway, so he doesn't notice a difference. ]}

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[erranthero]

1. Force no, why would I be?
2. Who the fuck is the Denny?

[herocomplex]

1. idk cuz aliens do that i guess lmfao
2. the denny is a god don't fuck with denny ok

i also have a voucher for free food so like
that'd be great if i could find it cause im starving
like i could be dying im so hungry

[amant]

To be fair, they seem to have similar ideas on civilization and recreation as we do. They've been quite kind to us considering the fact we've interfered so spectacularly.

[ Is he leading a TED Talk on the Prismals now or something? Maybe after further investigation. And by 'investigation' I mean getting rich. Making cheddar. A strained sigh is caught by the surprisingly CLEAR transmission (god this is the good stuff here). ]

You know that I eat other things beyond escargot, Alfred. I've prepared many foods for you! Why are you so stubborn?!

Didn't you ask about Dennys? What a joke!

[ No honey he worries about you and your intestines. ]

[erranthero]

1. No they don't, unless they're perverts. A scanner is way more efficient.
2. God of what? I've met like 4 of them this week.

if you're hungry, find someone to hold hands with and hit a street vendor.

[herocomplex]

Bro, I didn't interfere jack shit. We got brought here, totally brought here. I ain't falling for this fluffy bullshit where we are guests arriving here. Something bigger is up 'cause I had no say so in this! Abducted, dude. A-B-D-U-C-K-E-D.

So, yeah, no. As per usual when we argue, I'm right yet again, moving along..

Denny's is better than your snail food. Looks like I'm right about something again!

[herocomplex]

1. maybe!!! has ur ass been scanned then???
2. the god of everything but mostly a big breakfast and a drink bar

uhh wow i mean
ok i guess i could???

but also..
why should i if i have this voucher instead...
just making sure i didn't miss the denny's anywhere

[amant]

[ God, if only America hadn't multitasked shoving burgers down his gullet and sprouting nonsense he would advise the younger nation to go eat lunch or something. But no. They're doing this. ]

While I agree that this is rather suspicious I do not believe the average citizen has any knowledge of any ulterior motive. Whoever taught you how to spell, however, is doing you a great disservice. Is that how you really spell 'abducted' in all of those propaganda memos you send out? I tend to just delete them without looking...

[ Latin didn't deserve to be bastardized into English to again be reamed by this poor, poor child. ]

You're right. Denny's has primed your stomach to be like steel. After all, you can tolerate that bile and still ask for dessert. What a treat. [ there's a pause, and maybe he might be considering being CIVIL. for two seconds. ] I'm shocked it wasn't McDonalds that you were searching for. Have you moved on?

[herocomplex]

_{[ Just gonna skip over that first part cause he still doesn't agree, but fine. ]}

No.. I haven't.

But I haven't been able to find one of those either... and the fact I have this.. _{[ he holds up his unused voucher, lips curling into a small frown ]} .. I don't know, since it came with my stuff I was hoping I could use it.

_{[ Look at that pitiful face. ]}

[amant]

[ Oh not the kicked puppy dog face... America why do you do this to him? ]

What is... is that a voucher?! What a strange thing to have. What else did you get from back home, if you don't mind me asking?

[ Listen, he'll get drunk and make some trashy food for you. Inebriation is the only way. ]

The variety was rather eclectic on my end. I don't know why I ended up with half of the things that I did. I got a blow torch... Could be useful...???

[herocomplex]

Well.. I got my awesome alien pal, like you saw.. and a Beretta 9mm semi-automatic!! With some extra ammunition! My sick vintage bomber jacket, some casual clothes from home.. and then this coupon.

_{[ A pause. ]}

A blow torch? Holy fuck, can I see it?!
_{[ NOPE. And just like that, the pouty face is gone. ]}

[amant]

[ He's actually scrunching up his nose a bit in confusion at the list America rattles off. ]

It sounds like one Keith Urban CD away from a fuck yeah starter pack. How bizarre.

[ He would sigh but he doesn't want to ruin the sunny optimism brought on by the mention of fire. It's meant for kitchen use but a torch is a torch. The portability makes it dangerous... He has to consider. ]

Inside???? [ UM. ] I mean... why not. What harm will it bring? That's to say, if you burn what little belongings I have I will be quite upset...

[ he might be muttering about famous last words right after but shhh ]

[schwarzen]

[ Normally, Siegfried wouldn't even entertain such questions, but something about the Cordis influence means he's more... amenable and curious. ]

1. Probed? Why do you ask that in a way that it sounds inevitable?

2. I haven't met anyone named Denny, but if I do, I'll be sure to let you know. Is he a friend from your home?

[herocomplex]

Hahaha, I know, right? It's cool, isn't it?

_{[ And without missing a beat: ]}

Dude, really? You'll let me? I'm coming over right now!!

_{[ Do you hear that door slam? And those feet running down the hallway? And now, there's banging on France's door. ]}

[herocomplex]

1. yup!!! cuz that's what aliens do... or impregnate u... or like.. suck ur brain out thru a bendy straw maybe???
2. denny'S not just 1 denny.. DENNY'S... it's a restaurant butt sure yeah it can be my best friend too!!

[schwarzen]

1. Did you not say that your own friend was an alien? Does he do that sort of thing?

2. I see. What kind of food do they serve?

[amant]

[ France gawks at his device with a dumbfounded sense of dread. A quiet what have I done? is heard by absolutely no one beyond Pierre, who is quite used to witnessing his owner's Poor Decisions and seems rather uninterested from his perch.

He shows a particular spryness in how he goes to answer the door before the younger nation's enthusiastic knocking gets the both of them kicked out of this place, tugging it open and sidestepping to avoid the very real possibility that America would continue to pound even without the door being there. Sure, he tries to smile in confidence but there is certain disaster looming in the corners of his conscious. ]

It isn't a flamethrower, America before you get your hopes up... [ Resigned, he stepped back and let the door open further to usher him inside. Regert. So much regert. ] I use this for cooking. It's in the kitchen.

[erranthero]

1. I had a full body scan when I arrived. Nobody's checked out my ass specifically yet, which is unfortunate.
2. So it's a chain restaurant?

I don't think you'll find it on this planet. I haven't seen a Biscuit Baron either, and they're on every inhabited world I've visited that wasn't under occupation.

text;

[freshtilapia]

I don’t know what a Denny’s is, but as for your first question... it depends on your definition of being probed.

[codecmoment]

1. Nobody has bought me dinner yet.
2. Get drunk and the Denny's will find you.