video | un:jinzixun

[amidstsnow]

[look at this finely dressed deer in the headlights. this is the face of a man who's clearly trying hard at something. and while he's still new to much of the technology here, that isn't the problem. (even if the typo in his own name might suggest otherwise.)

he looks like he might turn this off after all, and maybe he's regretting that he didn't go with the texted word, but then he takes a breath and pushes forward.]

I would like to address those out there who are fathers. Or anyone who might have experience with raising a child. Sons, especially.

[a long pause...a man with as much pride as jin zixuan surely finds it hard to ask for help. but he reminds himself of his sole reason, and suddenly it all rushes out.]

How does one...form bonds with them? What activities do they enjoy? What should you talk about? Do you try to be their friend?

How do you inquire about their [his expression twists.] chroma?

Any advice would be appreciated.

[please make him father of the year, it would mean so much.]

Comments

1/2

[inheritedpain]

[ what

whAT

WHAT IS THIS

WHY

DAD???? WHAT ARE YOU DOING???

INQUIRE ABOUT HIS CHROMA?????????


Jin Ling feels like he's dying. This is it, this is how he dies, watching his newly discovered father utterly embarrass him on the network. His soul is extinguished. He can never ever show his face again. Not to anyone. Not ever.

He CERTAINLY can't reply to this. He cannot. He cannot acknowledge this even ever existed, can't draw attention to it, can't-- ]

2/2 video, un: thejinling

[inheritedpain]

[ Too late.

Jin Ling's face appears on the screen, he is beet red and looking half way between furious and mortified. ]

Or you could just ask!! You could just ask yourself!!

Why are you asking strangers?? I'm not that difficult!!

[ How many exclamation marks can you even use, Jin Ling... ]

video | un: jinzixuan

[huakongque]

[Jin Zixuan sees this on the network and suddenly feels overwhelmed by the utter deja vu. Because he's struggled with these exact same questions (well, okay, maybe not the chroma one, but he simply hasn't let himself think that hard about Jin Ling) before. But then looking at this guy is kind of disgustingly familiar. A lot familiar. Like looking into a mirror familiar. But then that username?

This is a lot.]

I have questions. You're not actually Jin Zixun, are you? And if not, then why are you masquerading as him?

[amidstsnow]

[he would probably dismiss any questions not related to the matter at hand...if it weren't for that username. and that face.

ah, this must be the him - the jin zixuan that she's marrying. he takes a long look before answering, forehead wrinkled in confusion at first.]

Jin Zixun is my cousin. Why would I have need of-

[and then he sees it. zixuan closes his eyes, breathing in through his nose.]

A mistake made while I was still learning.

Video; un:Meng.yao

[firebranding]

[oh this is good

This is so good

Guangyao sits back to smugly watch Jin Zixuan swallowing his pride to bow his head and ask for help, smirking and feeling a deep-seated pleasure settle in the pit of his stomach. Who needed moonlacing or sex when he had a show like this to satisfy him?

God, Jin Ling’s reaction is kind of icing on the cake and in the safety of his study all alone, Guangyao allows himself to laugh.

When he finally brings himself to answer, he’s well put together, of course, expression appropriately sympathetic and contrite.]

If you wish to know what activities A-Ling likes, you should ask him directly. Let him know you’re interested in knowing his interests and attempt to do them with him. But he is at the age where rebellion against authority and spurning such affections is quite common...

[And yes, he’s deliberately used Jin Ling’s nickname here, though he doesn’t expect Zixuan to know he’s being purposefully petty]

[amidstsnow]

I don't remember being at that age.

[unless being a bitch to his fiancee counts, never sure if it was his own feelings that he was straining against, or this path that was chosen for him.

he also sort of had the world handed to him on a silver platter. that might've made it a little easier to be a "good son".]

If I ask him, he could reject me. A-Yao, you were there for him, weren't you?

text | username: absterge

[downswing]

Apology for bearing witness to the private matters of clan Lanling Jin.






( TRANSLATION: STOP MAKING EVERYONE BEAR WITNESS TO YOUR FAMILY MATTERS. )

text | un: xiaohan

[consignation]

Lan Wangji, if you have time to gawk you have time to come over for dinner.

[ don't fucking stand there judging his future husband and nephew-son. ]

un: grimm

[hagrides]

[Good news: this isn't one of your castmates or family members calling you out for asking about this in public!

Bad news: this is a bug. A human-sized bug, but still an insect.]

Speaking as a father myself, such things are best asked of one's own child. They vary in hobbies and interests as much as anyone else does - they are their own people, after all.

I would inquire as to their health in general, and not their Chroma in specific. There are things one may not be comfortable sharing with one's parents.

[amidstsnow]

[save him and he will never swat another fly in his life.

he stares for a moment, but then the words start filtering in. quite possibly the most helpful ones he's heard so far.]

I see...

And if there are things he refuses to talk about? Or, he starts talking about them very loudly?

[have you met jin ling, his boy has some lungs.]

video | un: xiaohan

[consignation]

Zixuan, I understand how you feel but I don't think this approach is going to work.

[ A pause. A sigh. He pinches the bridge of his nose. ]

Mostly because A-Ling is reading along.

Screaming.

[inheritedpain]

I'm not screaming!!!!!!

[ He's yelling. There's a difference. ]

text; anon

[huaisang]

Your questions are truly fascinating. It may be best to ask directly.

[amidstsnow]

That seems to be the general consensus.

video. — un: wen.qing

[sterilize]

The only experience I have to compare it to is raising A-Ning, and ... well, I think it's fair to say that even though I only met young Jin Ling once, he seems quite different from my brother.

( but — a little softer, then. )

He is a bit like you, though, isn't he? ( her eyes level with his — all things considered she had a pretty bad interaction with him, but she doesn't mean to insult jin zixuan. ) Passionate. If I were in your position, I might try some familial bonding.



( and after a beat, in case she has to spell it out for him: ) Cook him dinner, Jin Zixuan. Or teach him combat with a bow and arrow, or a sword — whatever it is fathers do with their sons. Didn't your father ever do anything of the like for you?

[amidstsnow]

Do you really think so?

[that jin ling is like him. he doesn't take it as an insult, it makes him happy to think that there are things that jin ling naturally share. it's like a part of him has lived on. maybe even a part of him never actually leaves him.

spelling it out would be helpful, bless you wen qing. he draws in a breath. he's still mastering cooking. sparring sounds more promising, even if jin ling's at an age where he's clearly mastered the basics. that might even make it easier.]

My father did some of it, yes. [a pause.] He also had other interests.

video; un: miniskirts_forever

[queenofminiskirts]

[Oh, boy. This is...sweet. But also a disaster. The message did basically start with 'calling all dads' but...]

Okay. First of all, if your son is old enough for you to worry about his sex life [She's assuming that's what you mean by his Chroma.] then he's old enough to be embarrassed by you asking this on here. And if he's close to my age [aka a teenager around that lovely highschool age.] He'll definitely be mortified. If you end up having 'I hate you dad' shouted at you don't take it personally. Teenagers can be dramatic like that.

[She says it with a shrug as if she weren't also a teenager herself.]

And second, no one knows what your son enjoy better than your son so ask him. Because based on the boys I know their interest ranged from video games, guns, toys, magical girls and trying to avoid the swimming pool. [Kagari doesn't do that as a hobby, Kaoru...] So it's not like all boys like the same thing.

Besides, if you ask him you're showing you're interested in his life. That's a good way to start forming a bond.

And don't inquire about their Chroma unless you want to make sure he never talks to you about any of these things ever again. Just make it clear that you're here to listen if he ever runs into problems. [Pause.] Or maybe buy him some dirty magazines, I guess. [That probably also works...no, she knows it doesn't. If Minamoto had tried to buy her dirty magazines she would have thrown him out the window.]

[amidstsnow]

I'll try to remember that...

[the 'i hate you dad' part. zixuan can practically hear it now. it wouldn't even be all bad, because at least he'd be talking to him.

he didn't expect jin ling to know any more about this than he does, suddenly having a father at his age. so he didn't think to start there. now here is a girl, a teenager herself from the looks of it, and sadly their advice is rarely sought in the world that zixuan comes from.

but the more she talks, the better hers sounds. he leans in, expression mild but without interruption.]

So talk to him...unless it's about Chroma, and then don't talk to him.

[it sounds - well, not necessarily simple. he's more comfortable going into battle than he is talking about feelings with someone he cares about.

but he can do it.]

Text | UN: someone

[good_ideas]

you shouldn't have asked other dads. As someone with a dad, a lot of dads are disasters.
Should have put the vote to kids instead.

And maybe form bonds by just going to them and showing you want to? You could start by apologizing for this post

[amidstsnow]

[the idea for a starting point is good...even such a difficult one.]

What are some of the things that make fathers a disaster?

[has he already done some? probably. maybe he'll make a list of what not to do.]

un: charleshenri

[painalty]

[Pls...this is not how you become father of the year...]

Spend time with your sons and you will discover the answers you are looking for. Be attentive to what they say they like and what they're interested in.

[Signed, a French edgelord dad.]

[amidstsnow]

[fingers still crossed for next year, when he's been one for more than a month.]

What if it's difficult for them to tell you these things too?

[he's not sure if it will be. but. just in case, maybe he can get ahead of the next disaster.]

video: un: gu_yun

[shiliu]

[ He's delighted to see that Jin Ling seems to have found at least one of the people he was searching for.

....this post is a delight as well.

Though Gu Yun has exactly no business offering fatherly advice, since when has this ever stopped him? ]

Your son will naturally look up to you. Don't try to be his friend, be his mentor. Strictness must be within reason, and should never take the place of kindness. Let him fail a few times, before you step in; but you should offer help generously, when it's asked for.

[ A beat. He grins. ]

And don't let anyone tell you that you can't ask about chroma. You can. Embarrassing your children is one of life's great pleasures. Enjoy it.

[amidstsnow]

[no business or not, most of this sounds reasonable to him. after all, zixuan naturally looked up to his own father too, even if he quietly disagreed with some of the things he did. he did it quietly, jin ling does not.

that last part though. now that's enlightening.]

Really? It comes with being a parent?

[well. even his own mother did seem pretty good at it.]

I will bear this in mind, thank you. You must have sons yourself.

video | un: turkling

[hotshock]

This is coming from the sympathetic side of your son and not necessarily experience as a father.

[Because dad advice begets dad advice]

Ask your son what he enjoys doin' or talking about that's the most straight forward piece of advice there is.

[Boys are pretty simple in that regard.]

As for the Chroma, don't ask. Give him a condom, a sex toy, a pat on the head, and an encouraging "go get 'em kiddo."

[Unless he's noticeably in the Chroma red, then that's another story.]

Most importantly, the idiots out there who say it takes a village to raise a child are just that, idiots, so here is my last and most important piece of advice...don't ask this shit publically. Now you're just the out of touch old man who embarrassed him.

[It's a hard truth.]

[amidstsnow]

[what he enjoys...so far zixuan knows that jin ling enjoys dogs and sneaking away from his uncles.

but it's a start.]

I can hope he opens up to me now.

[after this, maybe not. but jin ling isn't a cold boy - quite the opposite.

...part of this advice flusters him, but he's going to follow it. he's going to do it!! dad pride!

just tell him this:]

Where are the best places to find these condoms and sex toys?

[Video] un: beitangmoran

[beitangmoran]

Young master Jin, you are aware that you just sent this to absolutely all of Prisma, are you?

[Maybe not, since this technology is probably as unheard of in their world as it is in Moran's, and if no one took the time to explain....

Ah well.]

While I am not a father myself, I did raise my nephews for a time. And as for bonding, I think it should try and come naturally. Do not force it. Your situation is not an easy one, so you should simply try and spend time together. Surely you can find some common points through normal conversation, and he is old enough for this not to be a problem.

[amidstsnow]

I thought by asking for fathers...

[it would what, magically only go to fathers? only fathers would respond? he assumed something like that at first, but now the damage has been done.]

His age is not a problem. [zixuan seems to reconsider.] I've missed so much already and time here...I want to know as much as I can as quickly as I can.

[just in case...]

[Video - Un;Michel♥]

[deathboss]

Don't think I want to be a dad just yet, but honestly, the best thing to do, is not to force your own job and dreams down your son's throat and let them grow on their own.

Be supportive without getting in his nose about it, yeah?

[amidstsnow]

I think we would probably both be the most comfortable with that.

I always knew that I would be a father. But as it happened, I have missed out on so much with him.

[video, un: stcethleannfan]

[baitless]

Ah, well, I have a daughter rather than a son, but I would imagine that it is not so different. I would suggest inquiring about his interests and do things together that you both enjoy for the sake of bonding. Of course, also protect him with everything you have.

...

I have no idea what to do about the chroma aspect, because I have spent all my time hoping that my daughter will never show up here at all.

[amidstsnow]

[protect him with everything you have finally something he knows he could do without struggling.]

I'm hearing similar advice from many. I think I'm starting to understand it.

[hopefully.]

I can understand that as well. I wouldn't have chosen to have him exposed to this world.

[even if it meant never having the chance to actually meet him.]

Video;

[galatining]

[Well this is uncomfortable for everyone!]

Well, such bonds form naturally in most cases. Or is this a child who you only recently learned of?

[Gawain can understand, having recently learned he had a secret half sibling/cousin thing But even outside of that, such happenings were common in his time.]

Video;

[amidstsnow]

[tell him about it!]

Only with my arrival a few weeks ago. He's closer to manhood than not, but he didn't know me either.

[only as a name, a sword, the stories his uncle told him.]

[Video] un: copycat

[plagiarisms]

If I may offer the perspective of someone who is a son rather than a father, the father-son time I've enjoyed the most with my father was when he was teaching me a useful skill.

As for chroma...I would avoid asking unless your son seemed unwell. In which case you could offer him a hug.

[amidstsnow]

A valuable perspective. My son is already at an age where he's likely learned most of what he needs to know. I wonder...

[if there's anything left. part of the reason why zixuan feels at such a loss. other men were there for him when he couldn't be.

but hold up.]

Would you...mind a hug from your father?

video

[better_goodbyes]

I don't have a son, but I do have two daughters and I'm sure it's not that different. Besides each child will be different, Yang and Ruby are completely different. But you're right about needing to find a way to form a bond with them, which is actually the first step, caring.

With Yang, it was hand to hand training and sparring. Along with working on the bike and a few other things. Ruby, on the other hand, took more after her mom, so most of our bonding happened in the kitchen and around sweets.

[He's avoiding the chroma discussion for the moment.]

video

[amidstsnow]

You adjusted yourself to them?

[that's something of new idea to him. there was a mold that he was meant to fill from the day he was born - what he would be, who he would marry, these things were decided early.

he can't imagine his father just casually making dumplings with him because that's what zixuan felt like doing.]

They both sound very spirited in their own ways.

text; un: weiwuxian

[resurging]

how many of the lanling jin are there here? why are you here???

[amidstsnow]

I'm afraid I'm here for the same reasons and by the same means that you are.

Do you really mean for me to count for you?

Video;

[onerous]

[Oh boy. She looks at this, looks at all the comments, looks particularly at Jin Ling’s and cringes a little.]

You’re... Jin Ling’s father?

Video;

[amidstsnow]

I am.

[oh, a girl, this is interesting!

he just can't seem too interested.]

Are you his friend?

text; un: shang yu

[zooming]

Why don't you just ask them?

[amidstsnow]

I plan as much now.

Unfortunately, it came to me too late.

(Video; UN: motherofdragons)

[decisiveconquest]

I cannot tell you how a father would feel, but I am a mother of four sons. (Yes, three - well four - are scaly, but the intelligence is there and she shares a strong bond with them.)

Are you worried they are taking certain...risks? (Isn't she glad she hasn't had to talk to Drogon about sex, goodness.)

[amidstsnow]

You have my admiration, my lady.

[four sons sounds both amazing and daunting.]

There's that. I want for him to be both happy and well.

( VIDEO. ) un: AJKSHG

[boarishness]

_{[ sorry you have to deal with this again, buddy... ]}

KICK THEIR ASSES. THAT FORMS BONDS.

_{[ he is neither a father and neither is he a son... just an orphan boy so he isn't any help in this scenario.. ]}

[amidstsnow]

[this child...

although he has reason to regret the way he approached him before.]

Sparring is certainly a way of forming bonds. Perhaps Jin Ling will even be a worthy adversary that you seek.